2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
A man comes into the world to change it. He has everything for this by his birthright. A desire-goal is born inside a man, and he moves towards her with all his strength. A man goes to the World and gets what he wants. This is its essence and nature.
However, modern men often cannot fully connect with their creative, reaching part. It is difficult for them to determine what they want, or it is difficult to understand how to take it, sometimes it is even scary to start this path. Passivity, anxiety, a desire for stability and a constant shift of responsibility appear.
If in the family system the male is depreciated, and the mother is raising the son? She does not understand the Masculine world simply because she does not belong to it. The mother takes care of her son in every way and tries to grow out of him a better man than others. At the same time, when he grows and begins to show his masculine - she does not know how to handle it, this is an unknown and a danger for her. And she blocks the manifestation of a man in her son in all ways available to her. An injured mother cannot initiate her son into the Masculine world.
The child, out of love for his mother, displaces his masculine part. But on the other hand, violent resistance and protest are born inside, aggression accumulates. The mother unconsciously senses this part and transfers her conflicts with other men to it.
Then inside the boy there is a part of the child who loves his mother, which is afraid of aggression and strives for safety, merging. And the surviving, pressure-fighting part that is able to conflict and resist, she may sincerely hate the mother. It is unbearably difficult to be angry with the mother, to hurt her child. And to become that "terrible, cruel, ungrateful man" whom the mother openly condemns does not want. Therefore, the corners are smoothed as much as possible, the aggression is sealed inside.
There is an inner female part in every man. It is important, there is a resource in it. However, with such a conflict with the mother, against the background of the male deficit, she also begins to be repressed. Conditional motive "to strengthen the masculine by splitting off the feminine."
In the growing man, very little remains of himself. It is difficult for him to be active, to feel and declare his desires, to achieve goals. He is looking for approval and permission, support. It is difficult for such men in business, they are not ready to take risks, it is difficult for them to compete and raise rates. Rather, they are looking for a safe and secure place.
Therefore, it is very important to find and reunite all the lost parts. Give permission and a place for their manifestation. Then strength will appear, and confidence, and business will go.
And if a woman brings up her son alone?
The mother needs to restore within herself the respectful image of the child's father (whatever it is, he gave Life). After all, it is through the mother that the son can learn about what a dad is like, who are men and how he should be. It is important to be patient and deal with fears when the son takes risks (climbs trees, jumps over stairs, etc.). Give your son access to the male world, such as sports, modeling, car mechanics.
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