Systemic Constellations: Who Will Happiness Catch Up?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Interestingly, this question is often not answered even by those who are familiar with the constellation method; even those who have been to groups or even regularly participate in constellations …

In fact, in the course of any constellation, everyone who is present at the same time is worked through. Yes Yes! The therapeutic effect is also observed in the client, who, in fact, asked for help - the direct addressee of therapy; and from deputies and even observers; and also (unexpectedly!) from the constellator himself.

How is this possible? Still, do not forget that this method is phenomenological - some things that happen in the course of work cannot be explained scientifically, but at the same time they are visible in practice. And the therapeutic effect for all participants is just one of the phenomena of constellations. Today I will tell you exactly what therapeutic effect systemic constellations have on all participants in the process.

Who gets better from constellations:

1. Client. Well, everything is logical here: a person came for help - a person received what he asked for. A whole hour - two (and sometimes three or four) attention and psychic energy of all those present are directed to one person, his situation, his system - what support!

It is important that the client understands one simple thing: he still has to work himself. No one can "make him happy": the therapist can only help the client, serve as a guide for him to his own insights and catharsis, but he cannot walk the path for the client and bring him a ready-made solution on a tray. When the client is not ready to work on his own, to change, changes will not take place, no matter how the therapist fights.

Therefore, yes, we sometimes refuse to place an order with clients without explaining the reasons. Do you know why? Because we always distinguish those who sit in the client's chair with an inquisitive twinkle and a slight mockery in their eyes: "Well, what are you going to tell me there?" I won't tell you anything, goodbye. Will really press down - then come.

2. Deputy. As a rule, those who agree to be substitutes believe that they are doing a disinterested good deed: they help someone to see their situation from the outside. In fact, this good is not so selfless: they also get a lot from this work. It is believed that constellation substitutes have a mild therapeutic effect. But it also happens that a deputy in someone else's arrangement suddenly receives much more than even the client himself.

I remember that in my practice there was a case when a story was revealed in the constellation in the clan system of a client, when a woman in the clan cursed God for having lost a child. And then the deputy of the client herself begins to sob, and then sob bitterly, admitting that now she is experiencing feelings not from a role, but "falls" into personal experiences. As she later said, once the same situation happened to her, and she almost forgot about it, and in the arrangement all these heavy emotions came out …

There is nothing to be surprised at: the constellators are sure that all the deputies get on the roles for a reason. Actually, this can be seen quite clearly if you observe the permanent group, which is attended by some permanent "backbone" of deputies. Here, for example, I can say about the "golden composition" of my group: someone often falls into the role of offended children (and this person has unresolved issues in relations with parents), someone - on the role of mistresses and temptresses (the girl admits that in life she often plays this role), someone - for the role of Spirit, Power (for this person, the spiritual side of life is very important).

3. Observer. It has been established that during the placement, all those present are included in the process - just "sit and watch" will not work. Often, observers (especially those who are "worked out" and sensitive) have some strange emotions and thoughts, some processes take place in the body - a response to what is happening in the constellation. But most often, the therapeutic effect on observers is carried out at the mental level: seeing the processes, connections and interweaving of other people's systems, we can take a different look at our own system and become aware of something in it. Awareness not coming? Well, sometimes just seeing is enough. In addition, the restoration of severed ties and the resumption of interrupted streams of love is in itself a therapeutic spectacle …

4. Therapist. And here already, as they say, they sailed! It would seem, what is the use of the client constellation process for the constellator? You can say - material! And you will be both right and wrong at the same time. Yes, I remember an anecdote about an old woman who sold medicinal herbs, who, in response to the question "Do herbs help?" answered: "They help, my dear man, but what, I bought a car for the eldest son, now I'm collecting the youngest …". However, therapeutic care is certainly more than a commodity-money-commodity scheme!

And here it will be appropriate to recall the Law of Balance - everyone must not only give, but also take; not only take, but also give. Where is the catch? Here comes a client, paid for the constellation, got help - that's all … But after all, system constellations often work with vital requests! And then - what money will you pay for the fact that after the placement you found a job / got pregnant / met your soul mate?

Therefore, the system "invented" a much more interesting bonus for therapists than money. Consignors do not tell anyone about this, but in fact they not only help clients, but also work through their work themselves. Little by little, little by little, unnoticed by ourselves.

How many times have I noticed - you listen to the client and think: "Oh, well, I definitely have nothing in common with this story (with this person)!" And then - a surprise … A situation opens up that echoes my situation. So the study turns out. And this is already really equivalent compensation for the work done …

And so it turns out that in the course of the deployment, what happens in the Field will certainly affect each of those present. And this is one of the wonders of systemic constellations.

That is why we, constellators, smile so mysteriously when they sign up for us to “just look”. We are aware that everyone will receive their share of the therapeutic effect! But we don't tell anyone. Better to have a nice bonus later!