What Is Invariable In Your Life And What Can You Change?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

The problem is that we often confuse one with the other and take for granted what is our choice, and try to change what is beyond our control.

The famous saying about wisdom to be able to distinguish one from the other is more relevant than ever.

“Lord, give me peace of mind to accept what I cannot change, courage to change what I can change. And wisdom to tell one from the other."

There are things that are immutable.

For example, the death of a loved one. This cannot be changed. And no matter how I would like to create for myself the illusion that everything remains the same, someday you will have to admit that this is not so. And nothing can be done about it.

You cannot change the past. What was, what was.

You can't stop being a daughter or a son to your mother and father. You can't stop being a mom or dad for your children, even if you divorce your husband or wife. Generic ties cannot be changed. This is a given.

You can change the name, but the name given at birth cannot be changed. It was so called. And the past is unchanged. You can change your gender, change your identity, but your own story will remain the same.

There are hard, painful things that you have to live with. Nothing can be done about a serious, congenital illness of a child. You can only arrange your life around this. Nothing to do with a lying mom.

Do not return youth, beauty to the starting position. It is also impossible to grow a remote organ. There is something that is forever, and will not be reassembled as it was.

This is very sad.

but with sadness comes the realization and acceptance of what is: your age, your history, your losses

not everything is constant in our life

Much of who we are, who surrounds us, who we live with, what we do and where we live is the result of our choices. And we have to change this choice, if at some point it ceases to satisfy us.

Can we change the place we live in? Yes.

Once, my husband and children and I moved out of the small house in which the four of us lived, into a spacious new apartment on the river bank in a prestigious area of the same city. The amount we received for renting out the house was equal to what we paid for renting an apartment. We were lucky, yes.))

Can you change the city you live in? Yes.

I know a lot of people who have done this. "By the will of fate" or deliberately choosing the city in which they want to live, they moved with the whole family or alone and settled in a new place.

There are many women among my clients who have changed countries. There are those who have done this more than once. Once, having arrived for a husband to a distant cold "foreign land", they saw that it was not for them, and again changed their habitat. Someone even with the same man.

"Marriages are made in heaven".

But nevertheless, they are in the zone of a person's free choice. To live or not to live with this person, and if you live the way - all this can be chosen! Yes, yes, you can!

For women who live with alcoholic husbands, those who "drink and beat" or those who have long turned into the youngest child, there is no question of choice. "This is my destiny." "This is my cross, and I have to carry it." "This is my mission - to raise him and make him a human." It is important to be aware that this is a choice - with whom and how to live. Each choice has its own price. There are no free elections. Awareness of the price and the willingness to pay it frees from the groaning of the “victim” who “gave all her life”.

The price of choice is a separate serious topic.

whatever you do in your life, there are consequences to face. and you choose the price you are willing to pay

For life without this man, for life in a foreign country, in a new city or in someone else's rented apartment. Everything has a price.

but it so happens that the price of change scares people so much that they suggest to themselves that they have no choice

I know a family that already has more than 40 cats and dogs living in a small private house with a courtyard. "Cats breed and nothing can be done about it." Three women and a boy perceive what is happening as a "force majeure event" - something from the category of floods and earthquakes. What you need to accept and learn to live with.

More and more mired in debt, poverty and impenetrable dirt from so many animals, they pull their burden with great patience.

There are more and more animals. Some they pick up on the streets, trying to warm up and "give a home", some manage to breed before "planned sterilization". The entire life of this family is subordinated to the growing feline family. Probably not so - they gave their whole life, time, strength and space to cats.

As if in this situation the adults who make up this family have lost the right to choose.

This often happens to us when we find ourselves in the position of "victim of circumstances" or "rescuer" with an exaggerated idea of our own responsibility.

we lose the right to choose where we have it

Perhaps my article will help you take a look at what seems unchanged in your life and regain your choice.

Where to live - in what country, in what city, with what climate.

Where and by whom to work, what to do and what to devote your time to.

With whom to be together and how.

Perhaps you will regain your choice - what to eat and how much, how to handle your body and health.

How much to earn and how.

thank goodness we have a lot of choice