17 Signs Of Psychological Maturity

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

There is a lot of debate now about what psychological maturity is. And now, reading this article, each of you would like to find in it confirmation of your psychological maturity, but, alas, most people are not. Their psychological age is significantly different from their biological one. The overwhelming majority of people, regardless of biological age, get stuck psychologically in the adolescent phase or even earlier than 3-5 or 5-7 years. A person can live to the end of his life and die without becoming psychologically mature.

We come to this world not to live and die, but to live and become psychologically mature. A mature person never dies. Maturity is the awakening of a person from waking sleep, it is awareness. But many people never wake up during their biological lives. What prevents them from becoming aware? They instinctively know, they feel that the path to awareness is through pain. Becoming aware, you go through this pain step by step and sometimes it is so unbearable that you want to close your eyes and hide your head in the sand or just fall asleep, drink sleeping pills and never wake up. This is what prevents many people from becoming mature - fear of heartache, disappointment in themselves, in those close to them, in the way the world works. But only by sinking to the bottom, opening your eyes, seeing reality, experiencing the pain of disappointment, you can become aware.

So how do you define this psychological maturity? Many of you, reading this article, ask yourself the question: "How can I understand if I am a mature person or not?" Let's take a look at this: what are the criteria for determining psychological maturity.

One of the main signs of a person's maturity is the ability to love. I can hear many of you shouting “Hurray! I am a mature person, I love someone! . But, alas, what many take for love is nothing more than addiction. Today, most people confuse addiction and love. But only a few are capable of true love, which is maturity.

So what kind of love are we talking about then?

True love has no passion, no time limit, no age, no social status, no resentment and reproach, jealousy and envy (no desire to possess).. it has no life, money, house, car, it may not even have sex - yes, it may be so (oh, you are unlikely to like this thesis) - she has nothing but kindness, tenderness, sympathy, attentiveness, care and love, all other benefits, even if there are, are absolutely out of focus … the main thing, however strange it may sound: There is no fear of loss in this kind of love, there can only be bitterness from loss, but the fear that guides instinctive actions in this kind of love is absent …

Yes, everything can start with what Love is not - with passions, reproaches, demands, but if She comes over time to you (and she comes through a crisis of relationships and does not look like falling in love at all, she has a different face - not the same too bright, not so young and attractive maybe, but her face is full of calmness and kindness to her beloved and.. to herself), you will understand that this Love is as pure as Nothing, like God …

You will say this is an ideal love, that there is no such love on this earth, that only its neurotic forms are possible here: codependency, sadomasochistic physical and emotional, commodity-money transactions, where two people buy something from each other and sell something in return … But such love exists in this world. It's just that it does not come to everyone … And those who are capable of such love are a mature person. Everything else has nothing to do with maturity.

How to achieve this form of love, how to become a mature person. Sometimes this process of spiritual maturation takes years and decades, but on the way to psychological maturity you have to go through several steps.

Here they are. These are the signs of growing up through which you, gradually experiencing pain, enter maturity.

17 signs of psychological maturity:

1. Get rid of the unnecessary need for the approval of strangers or the approval of significant people.

2. Stop evaluating yourself and everything around, have an opinion based on personal experience, and not on the beliefs that your parents have hammered into your head.

3. Learn to provide for oneself financially, have the freedom to choose work, place of residence, personal life.

4. Learn to live without feelings of anxiety, guilt towards your parents, as well as towards your partner, children and other loved ones.

5. Stop being afraid of losing, fear of poverty, loneliness, fear of losing someone or something - these are signs of immaturity.

6. To be able to share responsibility between oneself and another in a relationship, not to blame everything on another and not to pull all the blame on oneself, but to share it.

7. Instead of affects, learn to express your feelings directly in the form of self-messages and requests.

8. Respect other people's personal boundaries and be able to designate their personal boundaries in contact with others, while not being afraid of offending anyone.

9. Be able to be aware of your needs and declare them to other people, as well as take into account the feelings and needs of other people in communication.

10. Be able to support yourself when others have refused to support you.

11. To live with the position: “I don’t owe anything to anyone and no one owes me anything” and everything that I want to take from another person, I am able to take from myself, that is, a person is able to satisfy his needs, absolutely everything is able to satisfy independently.

12. Be able to say yes and no sincerely without feeling guilty.

13. To feel happy, both alone, without a couple, and in a relationship with another, a mature person is not afraid of loneliness and is not afraid of relationships.

14. Form an adequate self-esteem, which does not depend on the opinions of others.

15. Do not use in communication such techniques as reproaches, devaluation, criticism, remarks, manipulations, humiliation, insults, comparing yourself with others and others with someone.

16. Work through your childhood traumas to such an extent that they do not affect your adult life.

17. Learn not to live in the past and the future, but to be present in the present moment of time. Having done all this tremendous work, as a reward you get the very true mature love that I wrote about above, freedom, physical and psychological health and a sense of the joy of being in the "here and now."

A natural question is brewing: "How is it possible to master all this and come to the point of psychological maturity?" The passage of personal psychotherapy helps to get out of codependency, to go through the pain of transformation, to become a psychologically mature person, having come to the point of mature love.