How To Fix A Difficult Relationship With Mom (Personal Constellation Experience)

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

My relationship with my mother did not work out. She is objectively a good woman and I understand that she wishes me only the best. But only one sight of her irritated me, and a conversation with her was able to drive almost to fury. Of course, I tried to control myself. It was not easy) Friends advised me to go to constellations. I had serious doubts. I am an advanced lady, familiar with many techniques. Try another one? What's the point? Waste time and money). But somehow I caught myself thinking that the mere breath of my mother makes me angry. This was the last straw. You can't live like that anymore. After all, a one-time visit to a constellation is not two years of psychoanalysis. And in the end I made up my mind.

Sitting on a chair next to the presenter, I talked about the essence of my problem. Further, from the people present in the hall, I (at the direction of the presenter) chose deputies - figures who will represent me and my mother in the arrangement. I put these figures side by side in the center of the room. And then the actual action itself began. For some reason, my figure immediately went to the far corner of the hall. And the figure of my mother, although it remained in the previous place, looked strange, to put it mildly. She smiled stupidly, rubbed her nose (she was picking her nose!) And constantly tugged at her sweater. The presenter noticed that this figure behaves like a small child. The child is not a child, but now this woman was very different from herself, five minutes ago, sitting in a chair. The presenter turned to her and she said that she did not feel like a mother, but represented herself as a girl of about five years old. Strange, that was how old my mother was when her father died. But I definitely didn't talk about it. Further from the hall they chose the figure of my grandfather, her father. In my life I have never seen him, he died long before my birth. I only know that he spent his childhood in an orphanage. And after the orphanage, his own mother found him. But in the constellation, a completely different story unfolded. Incomprehensible figures appeared, they moved and stood in an incomprehensible order to me. And only when the last figure appeared, it became clear that all the characters were pointing at her. It was a woman in the throes of childbirth. But something went wrong, she died during childbirth. And of her two children, only one was saved - my grandfather. The figure of his father also appeared. Before my eyes, my grandfather was connecting with his own family. Even the calmest spectators were in tears. But this "play" did not touch me.

I left the constellations in some confusion. What should I do now with the "knowledge" I have received? Who was actually the mother of my grandfather, the woman whose image appeared in the constellation, or the one who found him after the orphanage - now this is no longer known. And in general, what connection could there be between my irritation at my mother and the confusing story about my grandfather's mother? Where is the logic here?

But after just a week, I was cutting salad with my mother in the country. And then I caught myself thinking that we were "chirping" with her as best friends. I listened to myself more attentively - not a trace remained of the usual irritation. And it hasn't returned for over four years. Later, after completing the course on family constellations, I understood both the connections in such works and the logic. But people who come to constellations do not need to know this. The result is enough.