2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Sometimes it is difficult for us to pay attention to the actual challenges of life facing us, and the energy of emotions that are born in response to the encounter with these challenges is redirected to something completely different - albeit indirectly related to the avoidable
So, several years ago I was suddenly very much concerned about my moles. Well, everyone knows that melanoma can develop from them, and therefore it is good to pay attention to them periodically. For three decades I did not bother with this at all, and then once - and suddenly several moles at once - not new at all - became the subject of my concern. In parallel, I suddenly became very concerned that ticks did not bite me - encephalitis and all these other sores. But again: I went on expeditions for two decades, with and without vaccinations, I took off an incredible number of insects, both dug and not. Yes, a little anxiety always accompanied me at the moments when I twisted the tick out of my own skin, but so that this is so strong anxiety and even BEFORE my hike somewhere in the forest?
In general, I followed my moles - have they increased, have they not increased? Are the edges smooth or not? Has the color changed? Tired of this monitoring, I turned to a doctor. The verdict was - everything is in order, no pathological changes. He calmed down for a while, but then suddenly a thought flashed - "what if he missed something." And I grabbed the thought by the tail: it looks like it’s not moles. Anxiety, which seems to arise "by itself", wanders in me, finding more and more new objects to grab onto them and take shape.
And in a conversation with colleagues, the thought somehow sounded: such anxiety related to health sometimes arises when you miss something very important, do not have time in your life. And then the fear of death intensifies - suddenly you will die, but you will not have time for it. But what exactly?
Gradually, the picture began to clear up. By that time, my life had slowly but surely turned into a functional one. She had a lot of duty, a lot of responsibilities, a lot of current tasks, the roles of father and husband, but less and less of life itself remained. This transition is often completely imperceptible - here and there you "load up" yourself, take another client (just one, what is it?), Shorten the vacation time (a lot of tasks and plans, you need to work harder and earn more, and minus two - three days - what will they change?). You get involved in family affairs a lot - repairing something, helping with homework, buying furniture, listening to school and other problems … Just a little bit, this is not an abruptly fallen mountain of work, when you clearly and clearly feel the whole weight of the load … Where among all this functioning - which is absolutely important and appreciated by those close to you - are you? It turns out that you are saving the world - but not for yourself. Life goes away, turning into a functional existence - and the fear of its loss has so bizarrely embodied in anxiety about moles and a barely noticeable feeling of melancholy. I was not worried about my health - but about the irrevocably flowing time of my life, when I could stop - and be only with myself, the sun, the sky, the wind, my favorite book … Even with my beloved children and wife, but not as a father and husband-function, but as a warm, close person - relaxed, enjoying contact, allowing himself to take, and not just give, constantly thinking about this, this and that.
It is important not to miss your own life behind all these worries …
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