Consultation With A Psychologist: Pros And Cons

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

In this article, we, the collegium of authors, would like to discuss with the reader a number of issues related to going to a psychologist, so to speak, to shed light on various issues and aspects that are explicit and hidden from the average man in the street.

• Why is communication with a psychologist useful?
• What does it do?
• How does a psychologist differ from a psychotherapist and, moreover, a psychiatrist?
• What do you need to know when going to meet these specialists?
• How to distinguish a “good” psychologist from a “bad” one?
• What is the result of working with them?
• What are the side effects?
• Could there be a negative result? If so, which one?
• How to correctly assess the degree of your problematicity?;-)

At the end of the article, we will give a short test to assess the need - it's time to go to a psychologist or until everything is fine. The test is useful both for yourself and for helping relatives, friends and acquaintances.

So, what is the use of communication with a psychologist, what does it give, who needs it? Let's describe the process through the eyes of a client, without unnecessary self-promotion and advertising.

Firstly, if a psychologist is adequate (we will talk about inadequate psychologists later), he is able to give valuable advice or a number of effective recommendations for getting out of a problem situation. Whether it is associated with personal emotions or with objective life difficulties

Security Question: Where does the psychologist get these advice from, from personal experience?

Answer: From a general understanding of human psychology, the mechanism of emotions, assessments and other social laws. A good psychologist tries to understand the situation about which the interlocutor is talking, and then he tries to give advice.

Secondly, a psychologist helps a person to speak out, remove the emotional burden … Why is this important? Because then it is easier to see the situation with a sober eye and start taking action to solve it. Removing the emotional heat is not always as easy as it seems. Even talking with friends does not always help to voice all levels of personal experiences, since there are things that we are not ready to say even to friends. For this, a psychologist is needed as an outsider, in no way connected with our social circle, to whom you can entrust your own experiences

Security Question: Can't someone else act as a "vest," and you definitely need to look for a paid specialist?

Answer: As a rule, yes. People like to talk more about themselves, and psychologists are specially taught to be able to listen.

Thirdly, the psychologist helps to see the situation from the outside and understand the causes of problems, their own mistakes and their strengths. According to the principle "one head is good, and two is better", communicating with an attentive, thoughtful interlocutor, you can sort out a situation that tormented for many years and seemed hopeless. An objective view of an experienced professional helps to dispel the clouds of personal experiences, build bridges of relationships, build self-confidence and gain strength to improve your own life

Security Question: So, a psychologist is a modern Aibolit, to which people come to speak out, to complain, to restore mental strength?

Answer: Rather, Sherlock Holmes and Aibolit in one bottle. While the psychologist is studying with his brains whether the client is right in his actions and beliefs, the psychologist aims to support him and help him gain strength for victory.

Lyrical indentation.

In general, in our country, going to a psychologist causes a tremor.

“He (she) goes to a psychologist, which means his head is out of order,” thinks an ordinary man in the street, equating an ordinary psychotherapist to almost a psychiatrist.

A psychiatrist, by virtue of his profession, deals with clinical cases, that is, those when a person himself cannot cope with himself and can harm himself or others.

According to the law, only a person whose behavior carries a risk to life can be “taken to a psychiatric hospital”. These are suicides who were removed from the window. Or cases of acute mental illness, when a person runs down the street with a knife, looking for aliens. Etc. One involuntarily recalls Bulgakov's poet Homeless, who, wearing one underwear and an icon on his chest, started a fight in Griboyedov.

When a person is completely inadequate and cannot be brought to his senses, then a medical team is called, which brings the victim to the hospital, where he is provided with qualified assistance.

Everyone else who suffers from emotional distress or cannot understand themselves, please do not worry. J

Another classic phrase that I often heard is “Probably, I’m already … my mind has gone, it’s time to be treated, otherwise they will be taken to the durkee”.

With such a humorous statement, people are trying to show that they are already tired of themselves and they need to speak out. Because the emotional intensity has reached the limit and makes it difficult to act adequately.

This is a very healthy indicator. Because a madman, roughly speaking, does not know that he is mad, it seems to him that everyone around is doing wrong and only he is right.

A psychologically healthy person realizes that something is wrong with him and tries to figure out what is happening to him.

This mechanism is called Reality Testing.

But back to our questions.

What does communication with a psychologist give?

Point four. Working with a good specialist whom you trust, you can deeply understand yourself and understand what the problem is … It does not matter whether it is a problem in personal feelings or anxiety about objective life difficulties, the conclusion is one - a person is "stewed" in his heavy emotions … You need to understand how he can get rid of them and live happily

This requires a psychologist, he listens, observes, draws conclusions, gives tips to the client. The client gradually calms down when he understands what is happening to him and his inner world. The psyche comes to balance, sober thinking returns, ideas come in how to change the situation for the better. Confidence and willingness to act constructively grow.

Next to a good specialist, the way out of the problem will not be long in coming.

Point five - "Understand others." Analyzing relationships with relatives or work colleagues, the psychologist helps to understand the type of relationship, what to expect from them, what difficulties can be and how to solve them at the lowest cost

Psychology as a science, in general, is more focused on human cooperation and allows you to trace the influence of some people on others, the laws of society, the meaning of various rules and social rituals.

If a person wants to understand himself and understand his attitude towards society, it will be useful for him to express his views and doubts to a good psychologist, so that he explains certain points, helps to understand himself and live confidently.

The sixth point is “Long-term result”. Sometimes, when the problem is really serious, drags on from childhood itself or is aggravated by numerous stresses, a person feels inferior and one or two meetings with a psychologist will not be enough for him. Then the therapist suggests meeting regularly to help the client rebuild himself and start a new life. In long-term therapy, the psychologist acts as an expert, mentor, and psychotherapist. This helps the client to find reliable support in the person of his therapist, to open up to his feelings, understand them, change, become stronger

As a psychologist, it is always not clear what to expect from a meeting with another client. The personality of each person is a mystery, and it is impossible to predict it one hundred percent. Therefore, a good psychotherapist does not rush to conclusions, communicates, maintains contact, observes his reactions about the client in the process of work in order to better understand him. This is the key to quality results.

Our next question is: What is the difference between a psychologist and a psychotherapist ?

A psychologist is a more general concept, like a doctor. Psychologists can be academic, for example, researchers, teachers, diagnosticians. And psychotherapists are a narrower class who are directly involved in practical work with people.

Similarly, there is a difference with the concept of "consultation".

A consultation can mean a discussion of a problem. For example, the mother of a naughty son comes to a school psychologist and advises on how best to act to help her son. This is not a treatment, it is just a consultation.

Therapeutic consultations are usually called sessions. And psychotherapists are sometimes called practical psychologists or psycho-correctors. In their work, they avoid giving direct advice, preferring more various psychological methods, exercises, techniques, in-depth questions for working with emotions.

Question: What do you need to be prepared for when going to an appointment with a psychologist?

Answer: To questions.

The psychologist, the better he is, the more he is ready to listen and ask.

Question: What is a good psychologist?

A bad psychologist will impose his opinion on everything, proving to the client that he must change his mind and start living in some other way. Using the knowledge of psychology, a bad psychologist will tell the client an unpleasant truth that can neither be proved nor disproved.

An illustrative example is the situation when an aggressive hot-tempered man comes to a woman psychologist who is divorced and is still angry with her ex-husband. Having failed to cope with himself, the psychologist can begin to blame the client for all sins, and bring the situation to a pronounced conflict.

A good psychologist knows how to arrange a person for a meaningful conversation, to captivate with sincere questions, abstracting from his own problems. With such a person, you can relax, share difficulties, analyze your actions, come to a new solution.

A good psychologist (and psychotherapist) is distinguished by a developed personality, calmness, confidence, a willingness to flexibly perceive someone else's life position, to find contact with difficult people (hot-tempered, withdrawn, depressed or overly suspicious).

The essence of psychology is to understand people and be able to interact with them.

What is the result of working with a good psychologist and a bad one?

After seeing a bad psychologist or psychotherapist, the client feels like he has lived his whole life wrong. Spoke wrong, ate wrong, slept wrong. Wrongly married or married, improperly raising children. Such a feeling in the soul or a discord with oneself occurs after the imposed advice of a "smart" psychologist who wants to feel his importance and prove to himself that it was not in vain that he studied at the university. Now he can teach everyone.

After meeting with a good psychologist, the client can come home:

- sad but calm. This means that the work with the problem is not finished yet, but the heat of passions has already been removed;

- disappointed in himself, but confident in his therapist. This means that the client's personality cannot yet rely on itself, but it has already been able to trust another person, establish reliable contact with him, trust someone;

- tired, but with enthusiasm in his eyes. This means that the session was powerful, the problems disappear, the desire to live returns;

- calm and thoughtful. Negative emotions turn into neutral energy and you want to think about a new future;

- cheerful and even playful. The inner child "woke up" and the soul again believes that everything will be fine. Optimism is back.

- strong and even angry at others. The client has gained strength, wants to change his life and it seems to him that others will want to prevent him from doing so;

- confident and new-minded. The therapy is coming to an end, the person is on his feet and plans to act in his own interests.

The essence of therapy is to free the client from the burden of problems, develop the personality structure and help him become a socially adapted (active, confident, focused on happiness, health, family, etc.) person.

What are the side effects of therapy?

Since they go to a psychologist with life problems, it is logical that, having received useful information from him, a person will decide to change something. These are the main side effects - loved ones are not always ready for the fact that their loved one decides to act in an unusual way. Will start to say "No", then when he always said "Yes". Or he will start to argue when he was silent before. He will begin to defend his rights, or will spend money on his health (or other interests), when he used to give money to others. This is normal, chronic diseases are treated through exacerbation. The person began to change, "toss and turn", to express himself differently, which means that he is preparing for a positive improvement. And when they come, he will re-"merge" into the family and the work collective, because a person is a social being, and living alone is sad.

Side effects (constructive side effects) are reduced to violations of established family (or work) relationships.

Of the non-constructive (really negative) side effects, you can list the following:

- the client closed himself off from communication with loved ones, having proved to his psychologist that “they are to blame for everything,” and thus gave himself permission to withdraw into himself;

- the client has become aggressive and hot-tempered. Apparently the therapy exacerbated the chronic mental wounds;

- the client quit his job and did something strange (went to the Hare Krishnas). Perhaps the psychologist is unknowingly aggravating the client's fears;

- the client has stopped believing anyone and all the time asks for advice from his therapist. The psychotherapist made a mistake and "pulls the client on himself." The client has become addicted and, instead of learning to rely on himself, relies on a psychologist. Could there be a negative result of therapy? If so, which one?

Yes, in addition to all of the above, theoretically there can be nervous breakdowns and panic attacks (fear, rage, psychosis, suicide attempts, etc.). Why? Because the soul is a delicate matter, it cannot be measured with confidence with a voltmeter. A device has not yet been invented that can accurately diagnose the problem, cause and future development of symptoms.

The psychologist may be mistaken in assessing the mental capabilities of the client. In simple terms, this is the strength of the personality, the degree of withdrawal into oneself, the desire to live, the values in life and the willingness to change, the tendency to depression, mental disorders.

If the psychotherapist did not understand his client, did not hear his true request, misjudged the personality structure, then therapy can lead the client aside, prevent him from finding his own path to happiness, or simply not give any result.

In therapy, as in any other business, you need to find your own specialist.

A psychologist shouldn't like how a girl in love likes a handsome guy. No. But he must inspire confidence and respect for his professionalism or worldly wisdom. This is the key to a good working alliance.

TEST: How to correctly assess the degree of your problem?

1. "Consequences of stress"

Situation: You (or your friend) only recently ended a difficult period (stress at work, financial difficulties, divorce, etc.) and you noticed that it is more and more difficult to force yourself to get up in the morning and dream about the future, you don’t want to call your friends, there is no energy left for rest, the food has lost its taste, and the appetite has decreased (or increased greatly).

- I want to give up everything, go far, far away;

- Change jobs;

- Sitting in front of the TV or drinking beer all the time (etc.)

- People around you cause latent irritation.

Answer: you have run out of emotional forces, your vital reserves are undermined. The so-called chronic fatigue syndrome, which many residents of the metropolis have. In fact, this is the beginning of depression, if not afraid of the word. Since depression is an indicator of the loss of life sense.

If you can really change jobs, shake things up, go on vacation, or change your approach to life, then you are a strong and mentally flexible person. You can do it yourself, you don't need a psychologist.

If you feel that the quagmire of sadness and hopelessness is dragging you in, and the state of emptiness drags on for six months, then you better go and talk to a psychologist several times in order to speak out, to understand your inner reasons for sadness. Something inside you happened at that moment, and you do not understand what exactly.

2. "Chronic fatigue."

Situation: You have been living in crazy stress for a long time - work, demands, all the time something distracts and does not allow you to relax. It seems that everything is on the way, and it will be possible to have a well-deserved rest, but the situation continues to drag on … and there is no end in sight. And then my health failed, and it is almost impossible to pull the load.

Answer: You have long exhausted the supply of mental strength, and you are pulling on bare willpower. You smelled because you are afraid to lose the achieved state of affairs. This neurosis kills you more than the stress itself, you are afraid of losing in your eyes, because you value your social standards very much, be it the title of a successful man or a good mother.

If you are a wise person, then disruptions in the body will make you think, start changing your landmarks and gradually reduce the load. The world will not fall apart. You need to be able to distribute forces and tasks. And then you don't need a visit to a psychotherapist.

If you do not understand how your health (heart, blood vessels, digestion, VSD, causeless anxiety or panic attacks) is related to work (or family situation), then you will soon go to the doctors. And after long examinations, they will say that the whole point is in nervous stress.

See a good psychologist-psychotherapist. He will understand you and help to remove the extra burden from the soul, and some of the diseases from the body. Otherwise, it will take a really long time to be treated. The pills cannot help where the nervous system hits the body from the inside.

3. "Big D"

Situation: You have long been accustomed to stress. You are a responsible person who saves energy, drinks the necessary medicines to maintain the body. You need the benefits that work (or a status family) gives you, and you are ready to make sacrifices for this.

Doctors again tell you that you need to change your lifestyle, but you understand that this is impossible. Lately, life does not cause strong emotions in you, you are alone for a long time and do not experience discomfort from this. You can't be happy all the time, can you?

Answer: You (or someone you know) have real depression. A year or two of difficult life troubles have sucked all the strength and deprived a person of the opportunity to change anything. Sleep, appetite disorders, lack of positive emotions, good rest WITHOUT twitching and moral obligations have taken the meaning of life. Social stereotypes and rules defeated intuition and the desire to live happily. The person has already renounced his right to happiness, sacrificing himself for the sake of his loved ones, and will soon begin to think that if he dies quietly, those around him will not notice anything.

Advice: Take your friend to an experienced psychotherapist, about whom there will certainly be good reviews (!). Choose any funny reason and let the specialist talk to your quiet and depressed acquaintance for half an hour. He needs to be saved!

And the point is not about chronic diseases, the point is that it is IMPOSSIBLE to get out of the Depression ONLY, since the chemical processes of the brain slow down, the psyche hides in a shell, the activity of the hormonal background decreases.

A quiet executive subordinate or family member can be useful to everyone, but sooner or later he will start thinking about suicide!

And in order not to end on a sad wave, we want to say that psychology is the science of knowing the soul, because inside us there is a whole world of subconsciousness, where amazing images of our dreams, strong emotions that give enthusiasm and joy of life are hidden. Spirituality lives inside us, which knows the secret of the Meaning of Life.

You can be happy by solving the mysteries of the subconscious for yourself!

You can deepen your contact with the world and enjoy just looking at the sun.

You can understand the language of dreams, and know what they tell us about.

You can learn to save energy and improve professional efficiency.

You can be friends with people, see their features and accept them with kindness!

Psychology does not always teach wisdom and joy, but a good psychologist is a happy, whole person. Why not?..

Anecdote (s):

Question: what is the difference between smoking weed and going to a psychologist?

Answer: to smoke weed - it will be funny for two hours, and then it will be sad for a long time.

And going to a psychologist is sad for two hours, and then funny for a long time.

Pavel Dyma, Tatiana Vorotnyak, Irina Kopaneva, specialists of the Academy of Personality Development "Harmonica".