Social Anxiety - What To Do

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

You have anxiety every day … More precisely, every person experiences anxiety every day. Every time it comes to assessing whether you can do something or not. And since we live in a society, most of our anxiety attacks, one way or another, are associated with life in society.

To understand the essence of social anxiety, you can remember how the pyramid of your psyche is built. It is based on our needs. About half of our basic needs concern social relations. This is approval, recognition, acceptance, understanding, attractiveness, attention, communication, family, power, sex. When we lose something from this list or assume that we can lose (that is, we think about the future), social anxiety (emotions) matures in us. Social anxiety physically makes us tense in relationships (sensations) and triggers the process of internal winding up various problems that we can "grab" in relationships (thoughts).

Social anxiety has various names.… Low self-esteem. Self-doubt. Difficulty building relationships. Complexes. Social phobia. But the essence of all these states comes down precisely to social anxiety. And in order to remove it, it is important for you to follow the following algorithm.

Step 1. Remove negative expectations

It is important for you to understand how and what negative expectations you are winding up in your head. It is important for you to write specific scenarios, to catch specific images that arise in your head. And it is important for you to oppose them with your constructive thinking (with a focus on the desired result) and forward thinking (with a focus on possible optimistic scenarios for the development of events).

Step 2. Positive reinforcement system.

Each person with social anxiety gnaws at himself inwardly much more strongly than anyone else really puts pressure on him. The basis of such a scenario is the habitual negative assessment of oneself and one's behavior. In this case, the system of positive reinforcement is needed substantively in order to reinforce new effective habits.

Step 3. Social experiments

Getting rid of social anxiety is theoretically the same as hypothetically eating cake at a birthday party. Therefore, social experiments are important for you, within the framework of which you achieve specific, planned successes in the process of communicating with other people.

Step 4. Healthy relationship model

The ultimate goal in social anxiety is to build healthy, resourceful relationships (with a partner, relatives, parents, children, colleagues, etc.). Yes, you yourself determine the number of people who will be around you. And also you determine the scope of the relationship. But it is the very fact of having such a relationship that promises you that social anxiety will go away forever.

Step 5. Tolerance to failure

Yes, it is worth clarifying that feeling some kind of failure while communicating with people is as easy as shelling pears. Therefore, you should learn to not only positively reinforce your successes, but also devalue your failures. And also overcoming frustration (powerlessness) that occurs in moments of failure.

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