2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
The request "I have a problem with femininity" translated into psychotherapy means that you have a dissonance between your sense of self and what society requires of you.
Because femininity is a set of qualities and behaviors that are attributed to women and expected from them by society.
Note that they are not feminine, but attributed
There is no phenomenon of femininity in psychotherapy, there are problems of gender, disturbances in the mental self-determination of oneself as a woman, but this is when you cannot accept that you have a vagina, and instead want to sew a penis for yourself.
If you don’t have problems with your vagina, then you don’t have problems with the fact that you are a woman! You passed gender successfully
Let's go back to our rams.
What causes internal discomfort for many is not the correspondence of the internal state and self-awareness with what society expects from you
This set, which is expected to have been formed over many millennia, includes sex roles that were previously typically female, as you remember, there were not many options before, so they are all related to economic and maternal aspects.
But the world has changed, but there are no stereotypes of feminine or non-feminine, instead of replacing gender roles, studies, and work, and insane self-improvement have also been added to the typically female roles.
And scientists, meanwhile, proved, back in the 70s of the last century, that gender stereotypes have no basis, that in the psychological aspect there is no difference between men and women. This means that we have the same needs, intellectual abilities are also on the same level, the perception of emotions is also, in general, there is no difference, except for the biological one.
The difference we see is the result of stereotypical upbringing., by the way, this is also proven by separate studies.
And so I again left our discomfort. I understand, from all these cleverness, the problem does not go away.
First, you need to sit down and fully realize that the discomfort that is, it is not related to the fact that something is wrong with you. There is something wrong with the society, you are all right!
Second, if you have such discomfort, then your boundaries are violated, and therefore it is difficult for you to resist the pressure of society on you. And the pressure is really great!
Attention!If you begin to correspond to the ideas of society about women, well, you will go to trainings on femininity there and learn all these beauties: to be softer, lighter, inspire, and so on. It will become easier for you, but not for long, and it will be replaced by even greater discomfort, because this will change the personality. You will lose yourself!
If you still want to get your life back. Then you will need to withstand a difficult struggle for yourself in front of society.
Third, you need to strengthen the boundaries, to understand in general where they are, where you are, and where you are not. You need to be sensitive to yourself and your needs, to be able to distinguish your desires from others, and to defend what is dear to you.
Fourth, it is the process of accepting yourself, with everything that is inside you, whether you like it or not. I write "process" because it is stretched out in time, you cannot take and accept yourself once for a lifetime. Acceptance is a daily, every minute choice of yourself.
Fifth, after the walls are fortified and you feel comfortable inside, alone with yourself. You can make doors. Other people are important, but you choose who to open the door for, how long to keep it open, and when to close it.
If all five points have been successfully completed, then you will no longer have a femininity question.
Allow yourself to be yourself, take your life back, it's not easy, but worth it
Psychologist, Miroslava Miroshnik, miroslavamiroshnik.com
Recommended:
What Does "LET GO OF THE SITUATION" Mean?
Why is the question exactly so? Because nowadays it is very fashionable to give advice on how best to act in a given situation. The most fashionable recommendation is "so you just let go of the situation and - EVERYTHING." If a person could RELEASE the situation, he would have RELEASED it long ago.
Ping-pong: If He (a) Reminds Of Himself, It Does Not Mean That He Loves
In my previous articles, I talked about what longing for an ex is, why it appears, what it leads to and what to do with this joy. But there are complicated cases: a person now and then reminds of himself, and you think: "Oh, what if this is love?
Neurosis And Neurotic Personality. What Does This Mean?
Neurosis does not mean being nervous. Symptoms, genesis and cure of the modern neurotic person Neurosis is the pain and stamp of our time: selfish, fast, when people know a lot technically and live in comfort, but have forgotten how to love.
What Does “secondary Benefit” From The Disease Mean And How To Get Rid Of It?
Each time we talk about the meaning of psychosomatic symptoms, we in one way or another touch upon the topic of the "secondary benefit" of the disease. However, not only the term itself causes resistance from clients, but also the common questions "
How Long Does Gestalt Therapy Last And What Does Memory Have To Do With It?
Gestalt therapy refers to the medium-term types of psychotherapy, and on average lasts from 10 to 50 sessions, in some cases lasting up to 60-120 hours. Why can't it be faster? Stable and qualitative changes require stable and strong neural (synaptic) connections.
