Emotional Manipulator. Abuser

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Emotional manipulator, he is a psychological rapist, he is a narcissist, he is an abuser, he is a gaslighter, he is an emotional vampire. Such terms are now used by psychologists to describe the same phenomenon. I will not describe severe cases of psychological violence, which are very easy to identify and feel even to a person who is ignorant of this topic. I want to touch on light versions of psychological violence, which are not so easy to detect at first glance. I will describe several clear signs by which you can recognize a psychological manipulator, not level 80, but somewhere around 30)). These techniques are present in the abuser's arsenal every day, hourly, every minute.. In general, quite often.

1. He dodges because he cannot take responsibility for his words or for his actions. This is such a dodgy and stubborn slug. He will wriggle out of any situation and come out dry. He can never be accused of anything - he is always white and fluffy. You did it all, and he is a bunny honey. He has great responsibility problems. Therefore, even if it is obvious that he gave a joint, he will never admit it. Arsenal of his excuses:

- "it's not me, it's all you, that's why I did this, because you forced me, it's all in response to your actions, you started the first, you too, you yourself" … and so on. As my grandmother, and she was a noble level 80 abuser, used to say: "You made me this way."

2. Again, due to problems with responsibility and guilt, he constantly distorts the facts. Whatever you say, no matter how you argue your resentment against him, he will never accept his guilt and, again, will turn everything on you - you are the cause of all non-distress in relations with him. He will definitely say that either "this was nothing", which you are talking about, or - "it was all born in your sick head and you need to treat your brains", or he will say calmly with a smile: "so it was a joke Don't you understand the jokes? ", And at the same time you are" sausage "from his joke so that you are ready to kill him. But it was an "innocent joke", you know. "It's all you escalate the situation, it's all you spoil the atmosphere in relations with him, you're just unhealthy all over. And he only does that he tolerates you and loves you very much and is ready to do a lot to help you recover."

3. The emotional vampire's task is to get the negative emotion out of you. Therefore, he will so gracefully build his phrase, from such unthinkable pieces of words he will tailor his sentence, that when your brains start to boil and you start asking for an explanation of what he had in mind, there will be a bunch of the strangest explanations, demagogy, why he is so said and inserted exactly this word (which touched you) and in general he meant something completely different, but you all misunderstood. This applies to those cases when a light-level abuser puts pressure on your guilt, self-esteem, your dignity and self-esteem. He looks like an excavator, which gradually digs out the soil from under you, making your support look like quicksand.

4. He will definitely devalue and reproach you - these are his two main black-maned horses.

5. He never apologizes. And even if he apologizes, you will always feel false in his apology. Since the abuser never apologizes without benefit.

6. And now you are ready. You have thoughts: what if he's right? And what if it's really not so with me, but he is so good and loving and does everything for my good? When such thoughts chronically begin to torment you, the work of the abuser succeeded.

Let me remind you that level 80 abuse contains more abrupt violent techniques such as constant jealousy, and worse jealousy of the past, control, an attempt to openly establish power over you and the material aspect of manipulation can be used here at full speed. And if the abuser fell on your emotion, he will not calm down until he gets drunk. When you are already convulsing, he becomes calm, quiet and as if nothing had happened balanced.

Why is the abuser doing all this? Because he wants love, but he doesn't know what it is. From childhood he was accustomed to abuse and humiliation, and often to physical violence from his parents. And for him to evoke at least some kind of emotion, and it is best to have a strong emotion - means love. Indifference is worse for the abuser than death. He does not know how and does not understand how to love and evoke love in return, so at first he is so sweet and good to curry favor with you, deserves your love with beautiful actions, and then his usual monster crawls out of him. The main idea is that while torturing you, the abuser loves you so perversely. Taking emotions out of you, he realizes that you have at least some feelings for him. And the worst thing you can do to punish the abuser is to leave him forever. This he fears insanely. And he does everything so that you do not leave him. But then you have to leave yourself in order to be in a relationship with such a person. There is always a choice, even in a relationship with an abuser. And this choice is obvious: to increase your resources, including material ones, you can, by the way, get an education at the expense of the abuser, learn a good profession and … run …