Family Leisure Rules

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

If I was asked how to determine in advance whether a family will break up, I would say that it is enough to find out how she spends her leisure time

The first distant sign of a possible disintegration of a social unit may be a separate leisure activity. It is not a fact that this will certainly happen, but the likelihood increases many times over.

It is still important here to clarify what does jointly mean? After all, we have repeatedly observed a picture of how at home, in a restaurant or cafe people seem to be sitting together, but in fact they are not at all together, since everyone has their favorite gadget in their hands - a phone or a tablet, and everyone is immersed in virtual reality, being somewhere outside of space that can be called collaborative. These people spend time together, but not together …

Frankly, there is nothing terrible in the fact that the husband sometimes goes fishing with friends, and the wife goes to a symphonic music concert with her friends. Objectively, she may not like fishing, but he may fall asleep under a Bach fugue. But the need to spend the weekend together, in my opinion, is as urgent a need as to satisfy hunger or sleep. Of course, provided that the family does not seek to break up.

Why is it so important to spend leisure time together?

First, it is a powerful energy exchange. During the time of daily separation, be it work or study, our energy field is greatly depleted. We interact with people who are not always close to us in spirit, often even hostile, which means we spend energy on maintaining this field, on safety, relieving anxiety, keeping some emotions - both negative and positive. In a family, we handle emotions more easily - in good families, there is always safety in expressing emotions and are allowed to call things by their proper names, to be sincere. Therefore, with close and dear people, a person immediately becomes easier. By the way, a sign of trouble in the family is just tense silence, when you incredibly want to speak out, but there is no such possibility in principle. Many adults have received a ban on the expression of emotions from their parents, in the form of the so-called. patterns of behavior - patterns passed down from generation to generation. Children, for example, perceive tacit tension in the family especially sharply, and often react to it with illness, "bad" behavior, and tantrums. It is important to understand that spending time together makes it possible to communicate in an immediate environment, without the stress caused by the need to meet someone's expectations.

The second important component of the time spent together in the family is the bodily (tactile) contact with loved ones necessary for each person. Alas, such contact is often in great deficit. Respected by me Yulia Borisovna Gippenreiter in her book "Communicate with a child. How?" says that for normal health, a child needs at least eight hugs a day. And, by the way, an adult too! Think about whether you provide at least three?

Statistics show that the average father spends an average of 7 to 20 minutes a day with his child. Does he manage to satisfy the needs of the child in a hug? It should also be noted that boys often need not just hugs, but peculiar interactions with their father - handshakes, pats on the shoulder, a struggle in which you can safely try your strength. Joint, properly organized, leisure is just capable of providing such interactions for a family. The third important role of leisure is intellectual exchange. It occurs not only at the parent-child level, but also between adult family members.

When else can you share new knowledge, ideas, plans with your loved one, if not during a joint vacation?

The family lasts the longer, the longer the spouses manage to comply with each other's intellectual aspirations. If one of the spouses gets bored, then, as a rule, he goes in search of interest outside. And this is fraught with betrayal. It is a mistake to think that purely sexual interest lies at the heart of cheating. Often it is the desire to communicate, the search for understanding, the appropriate level of intelligence that leads to betrayal. Children, as a rule, also need not only school academic knowledge, but also information as if already "digested" by their parents, submitted to the so-called. "semi-ready".

For example, a book that a parent recommends to read is accompanied by a kind of commentary that can direct the child's thoughts in the right direction, where the younger generation will be presented with certain rules and traditions of his own family, its moral foundations. That is, the child has the opportunity to look at the world through the eyes of "ancestors".

The same is with watching films - if you watch and discuss after watching - you can see all the "gaps" of upbringing, clarify something, argue, find out important aspects for yourself and your child. And, finally, joint leisure is an excellent tool in the fight against depression, stress, family problems and communication difficulties. He helps to fight his shortcomings, teaches interaction with other people, makes it possible to develop a team spirit.

Unfortunately, in many families it happens that when there is a large space of time that can be spent together, for example, the New Year holidays, it turns out that you have absolutely nothing to do together. As a result, the family toils all weekend with boredom, leads the apartment into a wild mess, consumes an incredible amount of food and, swearing at the remote control, "is on duty" near the computer and TV. Sounds familiar, isn't it?

Therefore, any vacation and even small leisure activities should be planned. To do this, it is important to take into account the preferences of all family members, which can be quite difficult, and to understand what is still meant for all of you by the phrase "good family vacation". Alas, the consumption of goods and services by the whole family has become the main component of leisure at the weekend. People began to go to have fun in shopping malls, cinemas and shops, making a lot of purchases. Even a hobby for a child or favorite books for adults is a reason to buy something. From my experience of working with children, I know that most (between buying a toy and going anywhere with their parents) choose a joint trip. Truth!

When planning a joint vacation, you should divide it into the main categories: - joint leisure with your spouse or with the full composition of the family; - joint leisure with the involvement of people from outside - friends, relatives; - joint leisure, requiring material costs or not; - joint leisure time long (vacation, vacation) or short-term (evening); - joint leisure with going out or not (for example, what will we do if the weather is bad). You also need to consider a few more important rules:

The best rest is a change of activity, because if one of the parents communicated with different people throughout the working week, then he may get tired of communication. In the same way, the educational process can be unacceptable as a holiday for a student.

The best vacation is a well-planned one, because you will not like the answer from the box office: "no tickets". You should always have a fallback, because it is extremely unpleasant if the children feel disappointed through your fault. Probably, this rule will be unusual, but it is better to spend quality time separately than lost together. More often this rule turns out to be important where there are teenage children who have already formed their own ideas about good rest. It is important to respect their interests and not turn the rest into punishment.

Family leisure should give pleasure to every member of the family - from meaningful and benevolent communication, from the realization of their needs in movement, cognition, development. Only then does it have a developing effect on both children and adults, raises their cultural level, gives a sense of family unity. Do not forget to surprise your loved ones: unexpected surprises, long-awaited gifts, romantic moments, etc. - all this inspires, allows you to feel needed and loved, i.e. fills life with meaning. And the brightest moments are imprinted in the memory forever and will warm the soul and excite the imagination after many, many years.