2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-12 20:57
The constant reproduction of pain experienced in childhood is one of the tenets of psychotherapy. Freud called it compulsive behavior. The child of an alcoholic grows up and marries an alcoholic. A child who is a victim of violence creates a family with the abuser or becomes one himself. A child who has been sexually molested becomes prostituted. A child who is constantly monitored continues to obey others unquestioningly.
Question: Why are we repeating our scripts? Why do we need to repeat negative life events that hurt us?
As a child, we had to adapt to what was happening to us, it became a habit. These are now traps as ways to reproduce repetitive and habitual behaviors. In other words, everything that happened to us earlier was fixed by thoughts and beliefs about the world and about ourselves. All this lies at the center of our sense of self.
To get rid of surviving strategies, you need to change the perception of yourself and the world. Difficulty correcting is a habit that calms us down, even if it hurts us. Early beliefs give us a sense of predictability and confidence, we know what to do about it.
Habitual patterns of behavior govern our lives. Note that you are not in control of your life, but what is familiar and familiar. Patterns are often directed towards self-destruction. They once helped us a lot to survive.
In truth, we know everything about ourselves well and, although the familiar image causes us harm and pain, this behavior is comfortable and familiar to us. As a child, it helped us to adapt in the family, or the circumstances in which we found ourselves.
Now, by reproducing the habitual surviving scheme, day after day, we are re-enacting the drama of the family in which we grew up.
In order to come to change, you need to be ready to experience pain, face to face with your inner experiences. Change also requires discipline. It is necessary to systematically study yourself, listen and understand yourself, changing what you don't like.
Yulia Vladimirova
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