Are You "VKontakte"?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Nadezhda, the mother of a “teenager under suspicion,” writes: “I can't find a place for myself: I have suspicions that my son is using some kind of drugs. He is 14 years old, six months ago, my father and I seriously talked with him about drugs, then he assured that he had not tried anything and did not want to. Two months after the conversation, he came home from school and told himself that one of his classmates “smoked something”. He spoke accusingly, we were sure that he was safe. And now I feel that contact with him is lost, that he can lie, and about drugs too. Help: where to go, what to do in such a situation so as not to miss your son? Hope.

Hope, in the age of addictions of various kinds: nicotine, alcoholic, drug, Internet, gaming, emotional, etc., each parent is wary of something like this happens to his child. How to raise a child so as not to "miss" him?

Let's turn to the original meaning of the word "educate" - it means "to give nourishment." And the "educator" is defined as taking responsibility for the living conditions and development of the personality of another person. In practice, I come across parents who, in the literal sense, provide food to the child - provide him with all the necessary material benefits. They feed, dress the child, "pay for the development" of all kinds of educators. All this material base for the development of the child is necessary, but it is insufficient for the process of unfolding the "immunity" of the child - the natural resistance to the external environment, in which every day, even hourly, all kinds of temptations await him, which, with "proper nutrition" - feeding, can grow into dependence. The roots of any addiction are a violation of energy exchange, when a person does not know how to use his own resources, and he constantly needs "recharging" from the outside - psychostimulants, people or any objects of addiction. The teenager is in the process of becoming, he is vulnerable due to the fact that his inner resources are limited by his limited experience. If his experience is mostly negative, then he has insufficient resources, very few. This can create a vicious circle of erroneous decisions and actions of a teenager, generously sprinkled with lies. Addiction is always escapism, escape from reality by different roads. And it starts from a deficit. Often - in the field of relationships, not material goods. The first step in protecting your child is to free yourself from addictions.

Let's take a look at parents who ask a psychologist to rid their child of gadget addiction. At the same time, at the reception, they apologize and look at the missed list on their new "IPhone" - suddenly there is something urgent at work … Perhaps such parents have more than one addiction - from gadgets, workaholism, etc.

None of the most creative and developing circle replaces direct contact with the parent, live communication in the family, not reduced to routine questions like "How are things at school?" If parents have forgotten how to talk to each other (not on purely everyday topics), after work they sit on the Internet, looking at someone else's life for show on social networks, or work until the night so that the child “is not worse than others” - they let themselves go and miss his.

• So, any addiction has a single mechanism.
• Addiction develops from deficiency.
• The best prevention of addiction in a child is getting rid of the parents from addictive behavior, and full-fledged regular communication within the family.

If you have not read fairy tales to your 5-year-old child, start it today, even if he is not at all 5. Live fully your common moments - side by side and together, develop spiritually and physically, including the child in this process. Do together whatever you want him to do on his own in the future. This is the only way you can be with your child "vk".