2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
The other day I was visited by a crazy seditious thought. And it consists in the following. Why are there no parents who come for a consultation with a psychotherapist (maybe, of course, they do, I was so unlucky) and do not talk about how they desperately wanted to please their child, but how it never happened? Why can parents be disappointed in their children, because they are not beautiful enough, smart, successful or insufficiently athletes, and it is not good for children to be disappointed in their parents? No, of course children are disappointed in their parents at one stage or another. But to go up to my father and sadly say, bowing my head: "Father, I am extremely disappointed that you were not hired for a new job, I expected more from you …" - I have not seen this before
Parents can afford almost everything. To humiliate by making fun of the child in front of his girlfriends or spanking in the presence of his own friends. To suggest that one dress sets off an already too pale or pimpled skin, while the other emphasizes a thick bottom and crooked legs. Spice up all of the above with a noble story with even greater noble intentions, because "this is all for your own good" and "I want you to become better."
They can go to another country and to another continent in search of a new better life, because one cannot live only for the sake of children, because they will not appreciate it anyway. And it is right. On the other hand, it is somehow wrong to leave a 12-year-old child in his "past" life with a grandmother with two strokes, because there is no place for him in the new one.. Or is it?..
Parents may start to get bad, because the son did not come for his birthday, did not call on time, brought the wrong daughter-in-law into the house. But God forbid and God forbid the child to object and say that he does not have enough mother's attention and support. Or to dad, that this is his phrase for motivation "stop hitting like a girl !!" I didn't motivate at all, but made me feel like sheer crap.
Making children feel guilty is sacred, because you can't upset mom, and dad gets tired at work anyway. Bringing that wonderful feeling back to your parents is like being an ungrateful child who doesn't appreciate the tons of effort and hours spent on them as a child. Such an unlimited subscription to the right …
We are told: "parents are not eternal, you can be patient now, so as not to regret the spoiled relationship later." But death is so sudden and so often unpredictable that children are also not eternal. Sometimes they die before their parents, without having time to transfer this burden of guilt to their own children. And who will need this race for the championship later?..
Of course, this is an encroachment on the sacred: parents are the most valuable thing there is. And we know that there is always love for them, even if from above it is abundantly crushed by disappointment or pain. Yes, parents are sacred. As well as children who are rejected in different forms and for different reasons.
Have you seen how the lips of a child who were left like this in a past life tremble in a smile? And how does he fight these tears just so as not to let her down, not to upset her, to cope for her sake, so that she remains happy, even if there, far away, without him? I saw recently. It is almost impossible to bear it.
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