Envy

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Envy - feelings arising in relation to those who have something (material or immaterial) that the envious wants to possess, but does not possess, and also this is still an understatement of the qualities of the person who succeeded in order not to feel a sense of worthlessness, so as not to feel in a lower position than the other person.

The expectation of someone else's failure, and sometimes the desire for revenge, just because one has succeeded, while the other does not, "and this is unfair," a feeling of injustice, which is based on resentment.

The goal of envy is to possess what is not yet available to you, but the other has.

Envy is always the result of a comparison that turns out to be not in our favor.

Envy compares oneself with another object, thus its root lies in the uncertainty that it will work out and the devaluation of the achievements of another person.

Envy and guilt are directly related, so the guilt formed in childhood is "I am bad", and envy "I want to be better", as well as these concepts are associated with low self-esteem.

"The phenomenon of envy manifests itself on three levels and similarly affects self-esteem and personality behavior:

The level of consciousness - awareness of one's lower position, can be taken for granted and not cause severe discomfort;

The level of emotional experience - a feeling of annoyance, irritation or anger due to such a situation, auto-aggression, a feeling of inferiority, an infringement of pride and unfairness of fate are possible;

The level of real behavior is destruction, elimination of the object of envy. Aggression is expressed specifically to the subject, just as the object of envy can be accused of creating problems for the envious. At this level, envy becomes the leading motive of behavior.

The feeling of envy makes you look for flaws in something else -

The more a person is jealous, the more he believes in his own helplessness, inability to get what others have.

The manifestation of envy can be viewed as some kind of games of our Ego, which feels infringed if the other person in some way bypasses us and the achievements of another person

Comparisons, after which there is a feeling of their own inferiority, worthlessness, missed opportunities and universal injustice. The desire to preserve one's integrity, the fear of seeing a failure in oneself, leads to the fact that a person begins to look for flaws in others, especially in those whom he envies.

The only prevention of envy is the realization of your own uniqueness, dissimilarity from others.

Envy in the usual sense means wishing oneself what was left to another.

First, you need to realize that the feeling of envy is directly related to a person's self-esteem. And this self-esteem is zero: "I'm bad!" And then there is false motivation. In order not to feel bad, a person begins to assert himself, in order to feel better, but not just better, but better than others.

envy is nothing more than an irresistible desire to possess material values, achievements or successes of other people.

The art of asking the right questions will help you in this. Instead of selflessly indulging in passions and desires to appropriate the object of desire, ask yourself:

What can I do to achieve what I want?

What knowledge and skills will help me get what I want?

What allowed the other person to get what I want?

Excellent motivation for development and achievement of goals

Find your solar goal, the most sincere desires and determine what does and what will make you happy!

When you clearly know what you want from life, it will be more difficult for someone else's, externally imposed desires to disrupt your plans. After all, you will be busy with the main thing - creating your own unique and vibrant life. And what you were so jealous of will lose any value for you.

Monitor your surroundings

Remember, jealousy is contagious. If in your environment there are people who stir up envy of other people in you, constantly point out to you their achievements and merits, then this is a reason to “clean up the ranks”. Minimize communication with such "well-wishers", or even better - forever close your soul and heart for such people.

Focus on your strengths and achievements

Often, in pursuit of other people's values and ideals, we forget to appreciate what we ourselves have achieved in life. Agree, than to suffer for what you do not have, it is better to start appreciating and rejoicing in what you already have. Believe me, there are many reasons to be proud of yourself.

Use the power of envy for "peaceful" purposes.

Yes, envy is always a burst of energy. And it depends only on us whether it will be destructive or constructive. If you really want a car like your neighbor's or the same lucrative business as your competitor's, then the best thing you can do is to understand what is stopping you and what is missing in order to repeat and multiply this success. This will be a powerful motivation for development.

Analyze the object of your envy

It is possible that a person who is more successful in business is completely unhappy in love (unlike you). Should you be jealous of such "success"?

Rejoice sincerely for the one you envy

Hard? Yes! But as soon as you can sincerely praise a person for their well-deserved achievements, you will feel how the energy spent on feeling envy returns to you.

Take a look into your past

After all, this is where the reasons for envy lie. Someone was praised by the teacher, someone had a newer bike, someone teased you about the jacket you were wearing after your older brother. So we begin to want what we ourselves are deprived of, and therefore we lose the ability to rejoice in what we have. By understanding the root cause of envy, it will be much easier for you to get rid of it."

THE GOOD NEWS is that

ENVY HELPS US TO UNDERSTAND THE GOALS WE WANT TO ACHIEVE.

JUST REALIZING WHAT WE ENVY.