"Freelance" And "homeschooling" - A Cause Of Psychosomatic Disorders Or A Consequence?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Raising this question, I will immediately make a reservation that freelance freelancing is different (like home schooling) and we are not talking about those rare cases when a person travels the world and interacts with a large number of people, but about more common today - working from home, via the Internet, by phone, etc. These two concepts have one common feature - people themselves choose with whom, when and under what conditions to interact (to them personally or to the child for whom they are responsible). The qualitative differences are precisely that - with whom, about what, when, under what conditions and for what reasons this interaction is built. The very topic of choosing “independent movement or growth” is close to me in 3 directions - as a private entrepreneur, as a mother of atypical children and as a psychologist-psychotherapist who, as the time goes on, the more he faces the problem of isolation as the cause of psychosomatic disorders or their consequences. Therefore, I am fully aware of the various nuances, benefits and complexities of this process, and I want to share my observations and thoughts on how to distinguish "voluntary isolation" from "rational management".

When Skype counseling became a common occurrence, I had clients with real panic disorders, obsessions and various phobias, irritable bowel syndrome and skin diseases, etc. (from 2008 to the present, there were more than 100 different cases). Only recently, having looked up old records, I began to note that basically these clients are "homebodies" - housewives (including mothers who have been on maternity leave for a long time), freelancers (including private entrepreneurs), employees of companies practicing remote work and adolescents who are on an external form of education or have already completed it. Attention was also drawn to the fact that despite the difference in the diseases themselves, their most of the symptoms made it difficult to interact with other people (going out into society, staying in public places, establishing contacts, communicating with strangers and unfamiliar people, etc., not to mention public events). For most of these clients, undergoing a medical examination to establish a diagnosis and confirm the psychosomatic basis of the disease turned into a real ordeal, some were so resistant to "sitting in a queue with the sick" that they even refused to work with me. There were also clients who experienced such anxiety that, while waiting for our first meeting, sitting in front of the monitor, they came up with an incredible number of excuses to write that they could not get in touch, and there were those whose first meeting was delayed by 1-2 months.

Given the current trends in the organization of work / study at home, I could not ignore these cases. But to say unequivocally was this state a consequence of "isolation" or the reason is still difficult for me. because objectivelyBy switching to such forms of work and training initially, these clients were completely socialized, successful (competent and literate) and, although work under someone's leadership did not completely satisfy them, they were still healthy. Only after a while, in spite of their personal success and competence in the professional sphere, the problems of interaction with society began. That automatically led to the loss of clients, loss of earnings and the inability to continue training and look for a new job.

When I was just studying psychotherapy, in one of my lectures on the diagnostic criteria of mental norm and pathology, the chief psychotherapist of Ukraine B. V. Mikhailov expressed one important idea, the confirmation of which I could find working both in a psychiatric clinic and in individual practice. He said that the concepts of mental norm and pathology are too vague and conventional, but there are 2 criteria by which one can see that a person crosses that very “line”. Mental - this is when a person does not distinguish between reality and fantasy, from illusion. Social - when a person does not earn money, he is accordingly unable to provide himself with basic needs. Indeed, in fact, you can be infinitely brilliant and original, but at a time when life turns into a struggle for survival, and arm in arm with illusions, you need to think.

It turned out that, unlike my usual diabetics, allergy sufferers, etc., these clients really had symptoms leading them to this "line". On the one hand, psychogenia causes us a question mark in the sphere of the adequacy of perception - am I really experiencing pain / seizure / spasm, am I really going crazy / dying, or is it a figment of the imagination? But I feel it real, why do the doctors say that everything is fine with me? On the other hand, the existing symptomatology deprives us of the opportunity to find new clients - to earn money, to provide for our basic needs.

As for more subjective moments, then starting work, we always rewind the "timeline", pronouncing various kinds of bodily symptoms of each specific client, and often stop at the age of 11-14 years. It happens that adolescents who have switched to an external form of education associate this with a specific disease, the treatment for which did not make it possible to study at the usual time (hospitals, surgeries, and BCH). However, more often the story looks like this: “no, well, everything was fine before school … not even, at school I studied well, I liked it … but from the 6-8th grade …” and the enumeration: difficulties in contacts with classmates; instead of friends - computers, books and animals; the parents did not understand, did not speak, did not teach, did not discuss, or at best gave useless advice on difficult issues; teachers ignored, ridiculed, spread rot, and also often clients tell about cases of psychological and physical abuse. Everyone's stories are different, for the most part they are united by the fact that the child grew up practically "by himself" and he could not establish contacts with peers. Significant relatives did not satisfy his "therapeutic" needs, and then everything rolled into a "snowball". This is probably where the problem of choosing remote work lies - work that minimizes contact with other people. When a person finally became an "adult" and gained the ability to independently decide his own destiny, he tries as much as possible to protect himself from interaction with society, to get away from the sphere of life that caused anxiety, auto-aggression and all sorts of intrapersonal conflicts.

One way or another, analyzing the stories of adolescents, it can be noted that, in my opinion, the transitional age is not the best age for going home school. Moreover, it makes sense for parents of adolescents to pay attention to the child's health, and in case of pronounced problems with computer addiction, eating disorders (diets and obsessive conversations that they are too fat), acne and gastrointestinal diseases, contact a pediatric psychosomatics specialist. (Not all teenagers have such problems, and the more “agreeable” such a child is, the higher the likelihood that psychological problems do not find adequate resolution and turn into somatics.

Summing up my thoughts and observations, due to the fact that they do not have an evidence-based experimental base, I can suggest the following - when choosing a home form of education for your child, or switching to freelance, ask yourself the following questions:

• What in fact pushing me to go freelancing or homeschooling? Am I trying to get rid of the accumulated conflicts with other people in this way?
• Is there enough in my environment diverse social contacts (except for family and friends)?
• May I say that my relationship with peers do not really add up, and I have very few friends?
• Do I see a tendency reschedule, postpone or refuse important appointments and interesting activities because I don't want to interact with other people?
• Does it ever happen that I avoid meetings in a company due to the fact that I'm afraid of a negative assessment (I will look stupid; they will ask, but I don’t know what to answer; they will think that I’m weird, etc.)?
• Am I experiencing somatic symptoms before interacting with other people (insomnia, cramps, headaches, vegetative symptoms (sweating, palpitations, flushing, etc.))?

Clients often explain their choice by the fact that they are not designed for the "system". There is a reason for this. However, it is important to take into account the fact that one of the main functions of the psyche is adaptation. A person living in society and unable to adapt to the conditions of the system also attracts the attention of a specialist. Adaptation is not synonymous with acceptance and submission, as many people think. Adaptation is the ability to maintain their parameters in a changing environment! There is a difference between when a person is quietly studying or working in the system, but due to economic and other characteristics, he prefers to do it individually. And the difference is when a person is constantly changing educational institution / job due to the fact that he cannot take root in any team and / or cannot adapt to the organizational conditions of the “system”.

When the transition to freelancing or homeschooling is an issue, it is important to remember one simple rule of working with social anxiety: “ When symptoms of social anxiety are present, voluntary isolation only exacerbates the disorder.". Some clients working in an office and experiencing various problems such as cardioneurosis (CR), irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), various obsessions, etc., try to switch to freelance (less contacts - less anxiety). But without psychocorrection, over time, the symptoms only intensify, since freelancing is not only "independence from the boss", but also an independent search for orders, etc., which drives the client with increased social anxiety into an even greater dead end. The same applies to the child, when all the attention of parents and teachers begins to concentrate on him alone. Do not ignore the symptoms of social anxiety, if they exist, and even more so do not indulge them.

If you are a parent choosing home education for your child, pay attention to the fact that he has the opportunity to interact with peers outside the home (games in the yard; circles and sections in which learning takes place in group interactionrather than individually; thematic development camps, etc.). From the experience of communicating with mothers who have really "special" children, I can say that they use every opportunity that allows them to give their child the skills of interacting with society.

If you are a “freelancer”, remember that while working from home, as a preventive measure, you need to be outdoors every day; daily give the body at least minimal physical activity (jogging, exercises, etc.); sleep at least 7 hours a day (while going to bed until 12 o'clock at night); make sure that the diet is varied, minimize the burden on the liver, including making sure that alcohol, sedatives, sleeping pills and various tonics and stimulants do not become the "norm" of your life. It is also advisable to participate in some kind of social events at least once a week (meeting with friends, going to the theater or concerts, football, etc.) and make sure that your social contacts are not limited over time.

And if suddenly a conscious desire to start dog - do not resist)