How To Sort Problems "on The Shelves"?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Life seems to be accelerating every year. Home, work, family, friends, hobbies, health - all these areas of life require our activity. This means time and attention. As we grow older, our area of responsibility expands. Life becomes more complicated and it is more and more difficult to organize it, to find time and energy for what is necessary and desired. And now we have more or less coordinated our activities in areas, but we do not have time to enjoy and live in this moment - something goes wrong as luck would have it. Or even everything goes smoothly and according to plan, but there is no joy in the soul, a background feeling of dissatisfaction appears, which tends to accumulate. What's going on?

The accelerated pace of modern life is its feature. The environment demands more, faster, better quality. “Be more effective at work, be successful in relationships, easily find time for hobbies and communication,” - the media creates the image of an ubiquitous person. There is a lot of information, there are more and more areas of work, technologies are developing by leaps and bounds. The cycle of events sucks us in, and we desperately maneuver between yesterday and tomorrow, missing the most important thing - TODAY.

At the same time, we live more and more “in the head”: we plan, rationalize, reflect, make decisions, try to think logically, find the best options, structure the information received. Our senses and body are often overlooked. Unexpressed, unlived feelings, disregarded bodily sensations and needs tend to accumulate. Subsequently, they can manifest themselves in psychological problems (a state of depression, melancholy, depression, anxiety) or psychosomatic diseases (chronic fatigue syndrome, migraines, weakened immunity, various pains in the body, etc.). Often a person himself cannot understand what is the reason for his condition, where so many problems come from at once, and from which side to begin to cope with them. Most of the clients who turn to the psychologist do not have a specific request, or the request with which the client came is not the primary reason. The essence of the situation is gradually clarified in the process of joint work of the client and the psychologist, and then the ways of its solution are found.

How can you independently figure out what is happening?

1. Be considerate of yourself … This is a very important point. In pursuit of external goals, we often stop listening to our inner voice, "renouncing" our own needs and desires. Start tracking your own reactions to life events now. What feelings arise? What sensations are there in the body? Perhaps you have personal desires that are constantly being pushed to the last place? Ask yourself the questions "Why is this happening?", "What do I really want?", "Why did I choose this now?" Start with this introspection, and already at this stage, you will discover the possible causes of the problems.
2. Slow down, find time to sleep and rest … Problems often arise from a banal information overload. The body cannot cope and requires rest, a kind of "reboot of the system". Irritability, conflict, distraction, dissatisfaction with life can signal the need for a timeout to rethink what is happening, to restore the body's internal reserves and personality resources.
3. Record thoughts in their free flow. When the consciousness is very busy and active, a significant part of the information is displaced into unconscious processes. One way to bring this information to the surface is through the practice of "morning pages" or freewriting. The essence of the method is the purposeful recording of the stream of thoughts, without any restrictions and criticism. At first we write something relevant and logical, but the further we delve into "free writing", the more clearly suppressed thoughts and desires appear. It is recommended to do this in the morning, immediately after waking up, when our critical thinking has not yet turned on. Try to write as much as possible, write until you feel that there is simply nothing more to write. Do not think about the meaning and logic of the text, let it be a stream of consciousness. The unequivocal benefit of this practice is in unloading consciousness from information waste. Also, returning to the morning notes later, we can find important answers, "keys" to their state, they usually emerge closer to the end of the text.
4. Engage in creativity. The language of images is the best way to help us understand what is happening to us. Working with images is a direct connection to the unconscious. You can try free painting, collages, mandalas, or any other art therapy. Drawing in itself is a way to express feelings and desires, and thereby reduce the degree of tension. And if you focus on an actual issue and keep track of thoughts that arise in the creative process, suddenly the situation can become clearer.
5. Take care of your body. The body is a big topic. It is a tool through which we communicate with this world. We perceive all information through it. Therefore, the condition of the body largely determines our mood and efficiency. When you feel a blues and have no strength to cope with it, focus on taking care of your body. Go in for fitness, yoga, jogging, hiking, swimming - physical activity raises tone and gives a feeling of an active position in life, energy for changes appears. Go to a massage session, lie in the bathroom, do breathing exercises, take a contrast shower - when the body relaxes, some of the disturbing thoughts will go away, and the current state will be more clearly understood.
6. To fantasize about “My perfect day”. When clients find it difficult to figure out what the problem is, I invite them to write a script for their ideal day. Such a day, which is all built according to their wishes, without taking into account the wishes and norms of the environment. It is recommended that you record all the events of that day in detail. After analyzing this scenario, you can come up with important needs that have been ignored or prohibited for a long time. Often moments that are simple enough to be realized come up, which, nevertheless, are very significant and give a powerful nourishment to the personality.
7. Tracking recurring thoughts. If you notice that from day to day a certain thought repeats in your head - perhaps this is precisely the belief that stands in the way of your feeling of happiness. Identify this thought (or thoughts), write it down on paper, and investigate its origin. When you understand where it came from, it will be easier to get rid of it. To do this, simply rephrase the belief in a way that is supportive, positive, and repeat to yourself from time to time.
8. Balance wheel. A well-known and simple exercise for understanding the current situation in life. Draw a circle and divide it into sectors according to the areas of your life. Then divide each sector into 10 parts. Rate the degree of fulfillment of each area in your life from 1 to 10 points and shade accordingly. You get a visual diagram of the distribution of personal resources (time and energy) in the spheres of life. The areas to which a lot of attention has been paid are immediately visible, as well as areas to which more attention should be paid. Reflect on this diagram, think about how you can balance your life, and immediately write down a plan for implementation.
9. Exercise "100 Whys." The exercise is simple and difficult at the same time. Formulate your problem, write it down. Ask the question "Why?" and write down the answer to it. Then put the same question to the answer you received. Write down the answer and answer the question “Why?” Again. In fact, it usually doesn't reach a hundred why, but the point is to ask the question until you run into the root cause of the situation. And when the reason is known, there is an opportunity to change the situation. Also, analyzing the entire chain of answers, you can find typical difficult situations for you, which are worth paying attention to.
10. Play with cards. If it is difficult to determine what the difficulties are or, on the contrary, there seem to be so many problems that it is not clear how to cope with them - try to play. Take your notes and write on each piece of paper one problem or situation that causes negative feelings. Consider the cards, try to arrange them into groups. Then sort them by importance in each of the groups. Put aside the cards that relate to the behavior of other people - we cannot change it, we will have to work on our own strategies of behavior in these situations. Follow the rule "Solve problems one by one": choose one of the cards and work on ways to resolve the situation. When you deal with it, move on to the next one. Often the problems are interconnected and as the former are resolved, others may disappear by themselves or become irrelevant.

These simple guidelines will help you cope with a difficult period in your life. Determine what is actually its cause and what can be done about it next. Remember, autumn is not the time for depression, as is commonly believed. Autumn is a time of transformations, when there is an opportunity to let go of the old, unnecessary, clearing the space for the ripening of something new.