2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
For example, a family in which men die early - for different reasons, and sometimes for the same. Or a family where men appear only to give life and do not stay for a long time, as a result of which women of different generations raise children on their own.
As a rule, while these repetitions of fate are not dramatic or tragic in nature, this does not bother anyone, but if the generic scenario threatens an unhappy family life, illness or a difficult fate, then this is already beginning, excuse my slang, to strain. And then the man, whose father, uncle and grandfather died of alcoholism, asks the question: "So, is it me, or what, next?"
By the way, about diseases. The modern idea that all diseases are of a psychosomatic nature helps to come to the conclusion that hereditary diseases (for example, allergies, high blood pressure, etc.) are also recurring family scenarios. Below I will give examples from my practice, where it will be seen where these scenarios can come from.
By and large, psychotherapists do not work with repetitive destinies in the family - unless, at the level of the client's convictions, they show him that, in fact, it is possible to live differently, not the way it is customary in his family. Influence on the mental level is wonderful, but what about emotional and bodily? And yet - work is not with the cause, but with the effect …
Various esotericists and sorcerers undertake to work with the reasons for the repetition of some generic scenarios. You've probably heard that they are removing the "celibacy wreath", ancestral curses and other negative programs. But, of course, this is very far from psychotherapy.
The only method that works with causes is systemic constellations (in our case, family constellations).
Systemic constellations according to Hellinger in many countries, including Russia, are the official modality of psychotherapy. At the same time, due to the fact that it is phenomenological, the method allows you to work with those things with which it would seem impossible to work …
I will make a small digression about how client work looks like in practice using the systemic constellations method. The work takes place in a group (although not necessarily), the client voices his request to the therapist, then from among those present he appoints substitutes for those people who have something to do with the voiced problem. The deputies get access to the energy-informational field of this family and the ability to read information from it, even very old ones. The constellator directs the process, conducts a survey of substitutes and integration, leads the client in the process of work … Thus, the client is immersed in the history of his family, at the same time he gets the opportunity to be an outside observer, and then solve his questions at his own level (through verbalization - “permissive phrases ). It is logical, because the past cannot be changed, and you can only influence your own life.
And in such works, my colleagues and I are faced with the fact that when very similar scenarios are repeated in a family, there will always be some root cause, a situation in which this scenario arose and took root. Many years have passed, and the "viral program" continues to be transmitted through the system - most often through a generation, and sometimes in every generation it manifests itself …
So, after long introductions - stories from the practice of systemic constellations about repetitive family scenarios.
I remember a job where it turned out in passing that the client's grandfather had died in the war, and the grandmother lived the rest of her life without a pair. Out of great love for her, her daughter only "got married" for a short time, and her granddaughter's personal life somehow does not work out …
It is helpful to see this relationship, but the facilitator may suggest the next step - to say the permissive phrases. For example, such: “Dear grandmother! We are of the same blood, but our destinies are different. And now I can love you openly, I don’t have to relive fragments of your life”. (This is exactly the element of working with the mental level of the client, which I wrote about above - bringing the client to the realization that it is possible to live differently).
As I mentioned, hereditary diseases also often (I will not argue that always, although close to this) have some kind of root family dynamics. Once I saw a work where the systemic cause of diabetes, which manifested itself from generation to generation, was a terrible story from the Second World War, when in the besieged Leningrad, parents decided to kill some children so that others would eat and survive. It is cruel, but such are the historical realities, and such cases happened not only during the war - in the 30s, when there was a terrible famine, such cases also occurred in the villages.
In the history of our people, rich in wars, revolutions, repressions, there are enough "unsightly" moments that remain to be recognized (and often - and to learn, since the client himself may not be aware of such family stories). In one of the works, which I did as a constellator, it turned out that in the client's family all the time, every second has problems with bones and joints: either fractures, or injuries, or arthritis … clan worked in a women's colony (presumably in pre-war times), where prisoners broke bones and twisted joints.
A scenario associated not only with illness, but also with financial well-being (as well as its absence) can be transmitted. There are textbook cases when someone in the family was dispossessed, and his descendants go the same way: they make a fortune, and then they are deprived of it due to various reasons - now a crisis, then circumstances. All this way - in memory of who got rich, and then lost. Often, if you dig deeper, it turns out that before the dispossessed there was also someone who suffered during the revolution, and he could lose not only wealth and status, but also his title …
So, think again: aren't the circumstances of life that worry you now similar to something from the fate of your parents and grandparents? If this bothers you, then know that systemic family constellations are effective in solving these issues, and whether you turn to them is your decision.
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