2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
At what age should a "bird out of the nest" be released? And what the so-called "separation" gives to the child and the parent.
Cutting the umbilical cord in the maternity home visually separates the baby from the mother's body. At this moment, no one asked to sew the umbilical cord back and again push the baby into the uterus. So why is the parent forcibly trying to keep the already strengthened and independent child at the wing?
Of course, you are pleased to consider your child as your property, because you bear full responsibility, invest all your strength, money, love. Feel mutual pleasant and gentle feedback. What a thrill. And what, you need to suddenly lose it? After all, it is the parent who loses control, obedience, complete possession of this creature. A child at the moment of growing up does not lose anything, he develops and only gains: new skills, socialization, enters a new stage of development. Before him is a new world, with new feelings. At this moment of growing up (from 7 years old), the parent falls into an unprepared reality. Where the baby becomes a full-fledged member of society. And he begins to make his decisions. It is very strange to observe how parents are surprised to realize that their child, in spite of all wishes, is growing up. As if everyone can become adults, and my child will forever remain that cute in a stroller. What comes to a parent and any person when they lose control? Fear, anxiety, anxiety, desire to regain control by all means. Does this method work with a child? Unfortunately no. You can only get more resistance. How to replace these life-destroying feelings? Trust, support, understanding, consideration of your life in the future and return to your personality. What do I want? What kind of parent should I become for my ADULT child? What kind of transformation must I make in my mind to go from a guardian parent to a partner parent and friend? What difficulties may my ADULT child have and how can I help him? How to behave so that my ADULT child addresses the problems of his age to me and only to me. Would I turn to myself for advice at my child's age?
Finally, ask yourself. No reference to the child. Our thinking determines our reality.
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