2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Victim
A person who is in the position of a victim in a relationship takes a passive role, feels hopelessness, depression, guilt and resentment.
Nothing depends on the "victim" and, accordingly, her life is in the hands of her partner, boss, parents.
The victim is not responsible for their own life and their happiness in the hands of other people.
For example, a woman has been humiliated by her husband for years, it is not pleasant for her, but she continues this relationship.
Even when a woman was beaten by her husband and the police offered to write a statement, she began to defend him. That is, he makes a choice in favor of the safety of the relationship.
A person in the position of a victim complains a lot, someone is to blame for all the troubles, because people have to help!
When the “victim” comes to psychotherapy, the request sounds like “how can I change Petya…. What should I do so that he understands and begins to behave in an appropriate way”. Those. the focus of attention is on the partner, because the "victim" does not notice himself.
Naturally, when a person does not have his own opinion, does not dispose of his own life, then there appears in life someone who will dictate to her how to live and what to do.
In order to get out of the victim state:
1. You need to realize that your life is in your hands.
2. Learn to notice and defend your psychological boundaries. More about this in the next article.
3. Accept the fact that until you start to respect yourself, your partner will treat you disrespectfully.
4. Each of us is responsible for self-attitude. That is, until you personally begin to treat yourself with care and love, no one will do this for you.
5. Begin to consciously fill your life, manage your own time based on your feelings and desires.
6. Stop complaining, learn to spot opportunities for growth and joy around you.
7. Stop asking permission from others. Only you are the author of your life!
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