What Is The Difference Between A Schizoid And A Narcissist?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Each personality type has avoidant patterns of behavior that manifest themselves in different ways and may appear very similar at first glance. However, there are also differences.

The inner world of the narcissist is boring, empty and full of devaluing inner objects that he himself has placed inside his consciousness. It is they who form his Ego. Often these are close people and relatives who were directly involved in the upbringing - a maternal or paternal figure, grandfathers and grandmothers. One way or another, we place in our consciousness external objects that were very important in our life and had a strong influence on the formation of the inner "I". Most often, the strongest figures are the mother or the father, but much depends on who the child spent time with in early childhood, that is, it can be grandparents.

Accordingly, in the narcissist these internal objects are devaluating, while in the schizoid they are “bad,” “hated,” “denied,” which do not satisfy his vital needs (food, comfort, love, care, simple touch and ordinary conversation with parents).

Any person (especially a child) has a very strong need for attachment, so if he is deprived (deprived) of such an opportunity, internal objects are transformed into “hated” ones, which he “kills” with his fierce love. What does this mean? The child hated his mother, who did not meet his needs in time, placed her image in his subconscious and formed an internal relationship with this hated inner object, alternately changing - now I hate, now you hate. However, in general, he does not perceive himself to some extent and hates himself.

The objects of attachment of schizoids are so necessary and important to them, but at the same time they do not satisfy their vital needs that they absorb them or allow themselves to be absorbed. The first option is often more common, since an adult has a rather strong fear of attachment mechanisms and in this case it is better to absorb. The reaction of the schizoid implies the following monologue: "I will love you so much that I will immobilize and deprive your Ego." In some cases, on the contrary, they prefer not to enter into any relationship, protecting themselves from the outside world: "If I allow her / him to love me, he / she will absorb my Ego."

What does a narcissist do? The narcissistic personality type kills its objects of attachment by devaluation, power, appropriation and abduction of identity, that is, it arrogates to itself the individuality of a person that he would like to have. For narcissists, a peculiar defense mechanism is also characteristic - everyone around is idiots, except me.

What's the other difference?

The schizoid type of character is formed in early childhood (up to 1-2 years old) and is in the zone of fusion, attachment and trust. It was at this stage that something went wrong: either the child was “choked” with excessive love, or not enough attention was paid. Therefore, the schizoid hated other people for the fact that they have warmth, care, love, attention, food, or, conversely, for the fact that there is so much of it all that he “suffocates”.

In his book Character Psychotherapy, Stephen Johnson called the schizoid type “the hated child,” that is, for this child there was an objective or subjective threat to life. Why a threat? Lack of attention, care, touch, enough love and affection is perceived by a small child as a threat to his life - if no stimuli come to me from the outside, perhaps I do not exist? It is at such a moment that the child's opinion about his own "absence" in this world is consolidated, so he begins to silently hate everyone who exists.

As for the narcissist, the main difficulties in the development of such individuals occur at the stage of 2-4 years, when shame and the first initiatives begin to form. A person was simply shamed and humiliated for showing initiatives, his personal preferences and desires were devalued by those around him: “Fu-fu-fu! How can you like this cartoon? We need to watch this one! How can you play with such a toy? Play this one! Thus, the parents (or other close people) made the baby love what they like and want what they want.

As a result, a person ceased to understand what he wants or does not want, what he likes and brings moral satisfaction. He lost his life orientations due to the intersection of two needs. On the one hand, there is the need for individualization (to be a separate person, to rejoice and enjoy something), and on the other, to correspond to the mother (an internal need for her love, recognition and acceptance). During the formation of personal attitudes in children, the second need is more pronounced. In addition, there is an inner subconscious fear - my mother may stop loving me and leave me. That is why it is better to meet the expectations of the person who is raising the child (mother, father, grandmother, grandfather). Stephen Johnson called this type of character "the child who was used", that is, it was important for the parents that the baby meets all the requirements of their desires. Thus, the narcissistic personality type was formed.

The largest study on schizoids is Schizoid Phenomena, Object Relations and the Self, by Harry Guntrip. With regard to the narcissistic type of character - “The Drama of the Gifted Child and the Search for Your Own Self,” Alice Miller. Every person has narcissistic traits to one degree or another, so the latest book is always recommended by psychotherapists for all patients.

So, the main important points of the differences:

1. The internal need of the schizoid for safety is associated with the fact that in childhood there was an objective or subjective threat to his life.

2. The narcissist, on the other hand, has a need for recognition. Accordingly, then the narcissistic personality will play the chosen roles, assigning the desired identity or forcing others to copy their behavior and change.