2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
- I have a boyfriend. Well, as a guy, rather a friend … I don’t want to write him down as a “guy,” but as a friend, I can’t lose either. And he insists on a serious relationship.
- Why don't you tell him that you see him as a friend?
- I can not…
- Why?
- Then he will not communicate with me.
- You have no one else to communicate with?
- Of course not. I just need him.
- For what?
- Well, how can I say … he helps me out when I need to. It's fun with him, there is always something to talk about. In short, I only need him as a friend …"
Friendzone, or in other words "DOD" - literally translates as "zone of friends" or "let's stay friends." Type in any search engine "Friendzone", "Friends Zone", "DOD" and tons of information with speckled headings "how not to get into the friend zone", "how to get out of the friend zone", "how to recognize that you are in the friend zone" and etc. As a rule, all fears and recommendations sound for the male half of humanity, but this situation is characteristic equally for partners of both sexes.
How did the notion of a "friend zone" acquire a negative connotation? What do you generally mean by a friend zone? The state of the rejected lover, his feelings? This is simply called, as it was a hundred years ago - unrequited love, love without reciprocity. The state of a love object that does not reciprocate, is this really a friend zone? Again, no, this state has also been named a long time ago - indifference, indifference, lack of sexual interest.
Friendship is one of the most important universal human values, the ability to be friends has always been considered a positive quality. Most long-term relationships begin with friendship, earlier this was the only way the relationship between a guy and a girl began - with friendship.
But friendship, like the relationship between men and women in general, in a favorable course of circumstances is a mutually beneficial cooperation. In case of bias in one direction or the other, a good and healthy manipulation by one of the representatives of friendship with the other is obtained. This is what the friend zone is - a format of relationships that implies meetings of a cultural and entertainment nature, communication that excludes sexual contact. When you are invited into such a friendship, it means that you did not interest the person as a representative of the opposite sex, did not cause an erotic response. And then you become one of the following friend zone objects:
OWNERSHIP - acquiring a friend is seen not in quality but in quantity. The more friends the better. It's like buying a vacuum cleaner or a TV for your home, it will definitely come in handy.
TOY - a good friend - the best living toy. What do we do when we get bored? Of course, we call or write to friends. We have fun together, go to clubs, cinemas, just walk. Therefore, if you hear about someone: “He is so cute! It's so interesting with him! " you can safely decipher: “He is a wonderful toy for me! I am having fun with him in the best way!"
FEEDER - of course you can't buy friends, but everyone comes to the holiday at once. When you are wealthy not only in the material, but also in the spiritual sense, you have something to “feed” your friends. Many people want to be friends with you. But if what you have is not yourself as a value, then “buying” friendship will strain you first of all.
BODYGUARD - the world around you is cruel, so you definitely need friends who will help protect you from resentment or a fight. The main rule of this friendship is that friendship, like any alliance, is always against someone.
IVANUSHKA-THE FOOL - everything is simple here - the smart are respected, and the fools are loved. "Fools", as a rule, express care, admiration, quickness and "everyday" ingenuity. You can always take out your anger on the "fool", but at the same time, the "fool" is simply irreplaceable, he will definitely be loved. Well, what else can you take from him!
HEATER - everyone has a need for warmth, but not everyone can be a person who satisfies this need. "Heaters" are different - some barely warm, others turn on without a reminder, and someone needs to make maximum efforts to "kindle".
MAGIC PANDEL - this category of friends, unlike the "heater", is less common, but better appreciated. "What are you nuns dismissed, well, cheered up!" - here's a "magic pendel" for you. Only a friend needs to be kicked so that he does not become an enemy, but a grateful friend.
UNITAZ - life feeds us very generously, we manage to digest some things, but some do not. This is where the "toilet" becomes necessary. We definitely need someone to whom we can speak out, to ease the soul. “I’ve shared it. And my heart immediately felt better!"
MIRROR - loving yourself is very important, but not everyone succeeds. This is where the need for a "mirror" arises. "My light, mirror, tell me, but report the whole truth …" and the “mirror” begins: “how good you are in this dress”, “chic hairstyle”, “oh. What an interesting sweater color”and so on and so forth.
And if your friends are not afraid to speak frankly with you. That is a chance to learn a lot of interesting things about yourself.
Friendship, like any union of people, is based on reciprocity; it lives on by the fact that people mutually use each other. “I am friends with you (that is, I give what you need) for the fact that you are friends with me (give what I need). Here is such a sincere barter.
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