2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
In modern life, we often find ourselves on the edge of our own dark places. Dark places inside us frighten us by the fact of their existence. Sometimes demons live in these places, sometimes - several small spirits in the corners. It doesn't matter what it is: serious injuries or some minor setbacks - they all keep us hooked.
Our hidden demons are echoes of common and almost universal insecurity, self-doubt, and fear of failure. While these are not plots for serious drama, it may be enough to get someone hooked.
Like every hero's journey, moving towards a fulfilling life begins with emphasis. But this does not mean that we need to immediately destroy at the root of all the demons, babays and small spirits that pester us. This means that we must not confront them, but reconcile, find an honest and open way to live with them. When we know and accept everything, stand out, find ourselves, the demons will leave. Just by not turning our backs on frightening things and naming them, we rob them of their power. We end the tug-of-war and throw it.
Allocation is not a heroic display of will, but a desire to look your inner tormentors in the eye and say, “Okay. You are here and I am here. Let's talk. I am strong enough to withstand my feelings and my past and accept them without feeling lost."
Learning to see and accept our "I" with all its shortcomings, we will be able to remember those that are common to our favorite characters: they are far from perfect. Perfection is one-dimensional, unrealistic, boring. Therefore, all beloved heroes have flaws or a dark side. And so all of the really interesting villains have enough humanity for themselves to partially identify with us.
In a movie with a happy ending, the complex positives and negatives of the hero and the villain are bound to be resolved. In real life, our success depends on how much we are able to live and cope with our shortcomings and dark side. And the path to decision and learning is our ability to separate and take a sober view of everything.
After interviewing thousands of respondents, English researchers (K. Ping, “Self-acceptance can be the key to a happier life,” University of Hertfordshire, 2014) found that out of all “happy habits” science has identified the key to a more fulfilling life and self-acceptance - it is associated with a common satisfaction. In the same study, it was revealed that people turn to this habit the least of all. Respondents said they enjoy helping and giving to others. But when asked how often they were kind to themselves, half gave a rating of 5 or less out of 10. Only 5% of those surveyed gave 10 in the “self-acceptance” column.
Our ability to cope with life's difficulties primarily depends not on the number and intensity of these episodes, but on how we deal with them. Whether we let them control our thoughts, feelings and behavior. Or let us single out and accept, without discarding, failures and fears.
To be continued…
The article appeared thanks to the book "Emotional Agility" by Susan David
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