2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
You laugh again, run, do not leave time for yourself, but everything is for some "important" things - to pick up the child from school, feed him lunch, take him to the club, buy food while he is busy, cook dinner in the evening, meet her husband and be funny, talk a lot on any occasion … Does this sound familiar?
All this in order not to meet with yourself. Suddenly there is a moment for this meeting, a wave begins to cover sadness and longing … Run, faster, in business and in conversations, help everyone and think that they cannot cope without you. Away from this wave, if only it does not cover!
What will happen if you allow yourself this meeting with yourself? At first it can be scary or sad (depending on what feelings we suppressed in ourselves), there can even be a lot of anger, but if you are not afraid of these feelings, but stay in contact with them, express, experience, then some time later it can become joyful and anxious from meeting yourself special, unique and inimitable. Somewhere out there from the depths, a child may appear who has been waiting for this meeting and recognition for a very long time.
It was this child who cried or was angry, afraid or hated - experienced all those feelings that had been suppressed for so long and now came out. Sadness can be associated with the fact that the child met with inattention to his needs and desires, sometimes he refused them in order to be "good" for parents or other loved ones. Anger can arise from the desire to protect something of his own - personal space, his opinion, his feelings, or if the child had to give up and give up his own.
But all these feelings are finite. They will not last forever if expressed and lived. But they will catch up if they try to run away from them.
What does the child have to do with it? - you ask. If a child received recognition in childhood, they saw his uniqueness and peculiarity in him, then he grew up and learned, loved to be in contact with himself. He knows how to listen to himself and, proceeding from this state, go out into the world, interact with it. He got this skill from communicating with his parents, this is how they built contact with him. Then he began to treat himself that way.
Often we do not want to come into contact with ourselves, as this can be painful. If I start to listen to myself more, then I may face the fact that my life is built more according to generally accepted patterns. And then you will have to change something, build life in accordance with yourself. Not everyone may be ready for this. Sometimes you don't need to change everything at once, you can take a small step - listen to yourself in the next action. How do I do what I am doing now?
The safe way to get in touch with yourself is creativity. You can try doing something and pay attention to your feelings. How do I like this color? How does it work now? Am I pleased to see this? What else would you like to add?
Creativity can be brought into any activity - cooking, on the road home, in work. Think about what you would like to be more creative? It means allowing your inner child to manifest.
In the group program "Body as a resource", which I teach with a colleague, we also explore this topic, try to feel contact with ourselves in the exercises, to feel it in a safe environment. Join us! More details here "The Body as a Resource"
Your Natalia Fried
Featured illustration by Victoria Kirdiy
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