2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
The one who persuades a partner to return, in fact, does not love him, and is simply afraid to be left alone. Do not fall for the next persuasion of your "ex"! And do not persuade yourself! Don't be humiliated.
Do not fall for the next persuasion of your "ex"! And do not persuade yourself! Don't be humiliated. If we or our partners have no self-esteem, if we are so badly brought up, then let's at least have common sense! The same circumstances that led him to think about parting with you will reappear, even if someone agrees to return!
For convenience, I suggest talking about a partner of any gender in the masculine gender. However, everything about the pronoun "he" applies in the same way to the pronoun "she." Men and women differ only in behavior in sex and the role in childbirth, and we all have the same psychology.
1. Do not fall for the next persuasion of your "ex"! And do not persuade yourself! Don't be humiliated
If we or our partners do not have a sense of our own dignity, if we are so badly brought up, then let's at least have common sense!
The same circumstances that led him to think about parting with you will reappear, even if someone agrees to return! After all, neither you nor he has changed! After all, it's not for nothing that you (or from you) so many times wanted to leave! So why pull the cat by the tail?
2. Real statistics say that if you return, the moment when you want to leave again will happen even earlier than six months later
But you can endure so much time even at a hated job. But how to endure constant sawing and tantrums? How to endure alcoholism, which will only progress? How to endure betrayal? If you are moralized and afraid of the condemnation of society, then formally you will remain "for the sake of the children," "out of a sense of duty," etc.
In this case, get ready for premature death from hypertension, stomach ulcers or other psychosomatic nasty things! Do you need it? And your spouse? And the one you give up?
3. I just want to exclaim: "Well, you have a spouse: to get what you deserve, you have to threaten with leaving!"
If you do stay, then get ready not for the psychological closeness and openness that we legitimately expect in a relationship, but for harsh manipulations with the help of similar threats, which will certainly be repeated in the future.
After all, he does not understand normal words without threats! And then home and family will be much more stressful work for you than usual. With a strict technological process. Give up a little - they'll sit on your head.
4. Think about where the partner will get the strength to fulfill all their new promises?
Yes, he is, of course, afraid and does not want to lose you. Yes, you, of course, are afraid that now he will disappear without you and all that. Yes, he, of course, will try to fulfill everything he promised. But is it easy to do? Very hard.
But even if we imagine that he is now: he will control himself, try very hard to meet your expectations, forget all his previous habits and interests, grow in his career or vice versa, take care of the household, in a word, become a different person.
Can all of these changes be quick? No. These changes will take years. How will he feel next to you while trying to change? Hard. And will he still have, in addition to this tension of strength, for love for you? Unlikely. Do you want to live with a person who, deep down, hates you? Personally, I am not.
5. Is it likely that after the next "reunion", one of the couple will start looking for alternatives?
I don't know the statistics. Those who do this or their victims come to psychologists. Even a shallow analysis shows that the one who persuades a partner to return, in fact, does not love him, and is simply afraid to be left alone.
Therefore, when the persuaded one condescends to the persuaded, then the second is a hostage of his persuasion. And he will have to prove his compliance all the time. Or he will still feel that the return is temporary, and will slowly start looking for a "replacement". Am I describing correctly?
6. If you (or you) are considered temporary, then they will not be able to rely on you permanently
This means that when distributing material goods, you will be remembered. Well, at any opportunity, they will get rid of you.
Victoria Cherdakova
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