2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Are there life scenarios and how to learn to choose your own path
More and more people are wondering if they are living their own lives. Most often, a midlife crisis lies in the inability to understand what a person wants and whether he is there.
Generally speaking, there can be two scenarios in life.
The first is: "concept - volitional effort - what to do."
The second is: "experience - vital effort - what is."
We certainly cannot choose just one scenario. If only because it is 100% impossible to surrender to the experience of life, and concepts are necessary and important. But what we can do is the art of short distances and small steps
Scenario 1
The most common and traditional. You know from childhood how you should live. This is facilitated by parents, society, well-established patterns such as "school-institution-work-family". It is a completely conceptual path that you take in the confidence of what you are doing.
Imagine that you have set a goal for yourself based on what looks right and necessary to you. You have decided to equip yourself with some tools and skills to achieve this goal. You have chosen your strategy and are following it.
In this paradigm, you need to make decisions all the time
You can decide to be happy and you will become happy only in the model under which this decision was made - for example, happiness in position and money, which means you go to the position and money, not noticing what is happening around.
Imagine being offered a new job. Before deciding whether to part with freelancing for a stable salary, study opportunities and an office, you take a piece of paper and describe the benefits and losses. Look at the pros and cons and decide - yes or no.
Sometimes life is even easier. There is no need to make any decisions at all, because, for example, my grandmother said that there should not be any sex before the wedding night.
The decision in such a model is always mediated by someone or something. When you think about what to decide, there is always someone behind you. It could be your mom, a life coach, a concept, or Napoleon Hill. And this someone will always say "you are good," or "you are in the wrong place."
Your path in this scenario is a foregone conclusion. It is planned, and you always know if you are doing what you are doing right. And you know this because you know how to make decisions. The model is clear.
Scenario 2
The path of choice. The most unconventional, dangerous and frightening. It has no stability and no idea of what your life will be like in 10 years. You don't set goals, you choose them. And this choice is groundless in general. He has no reason, except for the "chuyka from the belly."
This is the case when you are offered a new job, and you do not even have time to think, but already agree or disagree. It comes from somewhere inside. This is beautiful to you personally. And that's all.
When you make a decision, there is only one criterion - right or wrong.
The selection criteria are "aesthetic". This is beauty. And this beauty is universal; it applies to everything.
If what you are doing is filled with life, energy and buzz, it is beautiful. And, of course, this path cannot be easy and problem-free. And along the way there are overcomes, work, goals and doubts. But by going this way, you remain true to yourself. You do not argue your steps, you just do them.
Are you betraying yourself or not?
You always have an alternative to the right road. Conventionally, this is scenario 1.
And you always have the impossibility of living life right or wrong. This is conditionally scenario 2. In this scenario, you can only go your own way.
If you learn to hear your life, you have a chance to live it yours. If you learn to answer yourself to the question "Do I betray myself" - you have a chance to begin to understand what you need.
The situation when the lower classes cannot live in the old way, and the upper classes cannot rule in a new way, is very applicable here. You can go with the first scenario and not think about whether you want it or not, at all. But if you started asking yourself questions, if you are faced with a crisis, if you have a misunderstanding of what you want now, you are in a “bottom-top” situation.
If you still do not know how to experience life, but conceptual solutions are already "tight" for you, try the art of short distances. A simple evening, for example.
Take this evening - how do you want to spend it? If you agreed to meet with friends, but at the last moment realized that you were not in the mood, will you go or not? Will you betray yourself or your friends?
Only you know the answer.
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