Pathological Liar

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

I believe there is no person in the world who has never lied in his life. There are rescue lies when we cover up a colleague in front of our superiors; the so-called "white lie" when we tell the kid that he was found in the cabbage; and a minor lie when we try to slightly embellish personal life at a classmate meeting.

People lie to justify their behavior, to impress, to gain attention, and to control others. Good or bad depends on your personal beliefs. For some, this is categorically unacceptable, while others easily justify such types of lies as treason, manipulation and economic crime, replacing them with the concepts of freedom, dexterity and success.

But there is still one type of lie, which is very difficult to put up with. This is a pathological lie. Such people selflessly lie about any reason, not pursuing any specific goals. They lie so confidently that sometimes they themselves begin to believe in their own fantasies. It would seem that such people are indispensable in intelligence, but they are not. Pathological liars do not control their behavior and cannot stop in time, often crossing the line of believability. And without this, any lie becomes meaningless.

The first question is what is wrong with them?

Here the opinions of experts were divided. Someone defines a pathological liar as a type of personality, someone sees this as one of the features of an antisocial disorder, and someone is inclined to blame the structure of the brain for everything. Psychiatrists tend to view this phenomenon as a companion to mental illness, while psychologists see its origins in childhood trauma and low self-esteem. Most experts agree on only one thing - a pathological lie is a special mental state that does not change over the years.

For the first time, the Munchausen syndrome or "mythomania" was described by French psychologists more than 100 years ago. Studies in the United States in 2005 revealed a structural abnormality and showed that the brain structure of pathological liars is different from that of a healthy person.

Question two: where does it come from?

If you look for the reasons for the emergence of pathological deceit in childhood, then this state can be triggered by a lack of love, excessive criticism, violence and humiliation of the dignity of the child. In order to seem better, a small person begins to invent a new personality for himself, which is smarter and more successful than the real one. In order to supplant the memory of violence, a person invents a new life for himself. And so on increasing. Gradually, the line between reality and myth is erased, a splitting of consciousness occurs, which can lead to more serious mental disorders. So pathological liars are not always manipulators with selfish goals. Often they are indeed victims of circumstance who have found no other way to cope with the trauma.

Question three: how to recognize?

Pathological deceit is also a characteristic feature of psychopaths, narcissists and other people with personality disorders. But whatever the cause of the problem, all pathological liars are characterized by certain behavioral patterns:

- these people lie constantly, on trifles and for no reason.

- their inventions are often so absurd that only the liar himself does not notice the absurdity of his statements

- for the sake of maintaining interest in their person, these people are ready for anything. There is nothing sacred for them, and they can easily "bury" their own mother or child to achieve their goal

- unlike those with remorse, pathological liars do not see anything wrong with their behavior and easily look into the eyes

- with age, the pathology only gets worse, and people simply cannot stop and stop lying

- pathological liars cannot control their fantasies, so every time the same story will sound different - even to the detriment of maintaining the illusion of plausibility

- the stories told by pathological liars are illogical. The end can easily contradict the beginning.

- any attempts to bring a liar to clean water lead to aggression and gaslighting. You will surely be accused of all sins. The liar himself never considers himself guilty.

- pathological liars will defend their point of view and defend their chosen position with amazing tenacity, even when it is obvious that their card is a beat

- pathological liars have no brakes in the form of morality and conscience - for them all means are good

- pathological liars always adjust to the situation or the person on whom something depends. They are inherently cowardly, albeit quirky.

Question four: what to do?

When we are faced with such blatant lies, we tend to experience anger, resentment, and frustration. We want to convey to the liar the essence of his behavior, make him admit his mistake and apologize. Forget it. It's a waste of time. It is impossible to fix such a person. The best thing to do is to exclude the pathological liar from your social circle.

However, it is important to understand that not every manifestation of a lie is a pathology. Don't rush to diagnose and label. Your job is to take care of yourself and your own condition. For someone who has become a victim of such manipulations, it is very important to understand that he is not guilty of anything and is not responsible for the actions of another person. In no case should you blame yourself and think that your actions could somehow provoke such behavior of another person. Treat pathological deceit as an incurable disease. Forgive and release this person. Unlike you, he does not suffer and does not suffer from his condition.

And all issues related to the study of injuries, the identification of problems, their causes and consequences are best solved in therapy under the guidance of a competent specialist.