AVOIDATION: SOLUTION OR PROBLEM?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

A phenomenon such as avoidance is usually spoken of in the context of behavior in a conflict, but it can be used by a person not only during a clash of different goals or interests, avoidance can also manifest itself far beyond conflicts with other people. For example, in the unwillingness to understand oneself, and to look for the reasons for something in "third forces" or in attempts to hide from everything new, because the unknown causes fear.

“I don’t want to think about it, it hurts” - sounds very convincing, in order not to try to think about it, only now the pain arises not from the thoughts themselves, but from the fact that there was something traumatic that remained unresolved properly, and pain will arise from anything that is somehow, at least indirectly associated with that trauma: smell, color, sound, any passer-by - unfortunately, you cannot run away from everything.

“There is no point in trying to change something in your life, because, obviously, nothing will come of it” - this can be said about many things, but this will become obvious only when all possible methods have been tried, and this can hardly be done, therefore it is obvious the assumption that there is always an opportunity to change something for the better.

It would probably be logical to try to highlight all the pros and cons of the avoidance strategy, in order to understand whether it helps or harms, to understand from what this protective mechanism of the psyche protects, and in what it still limits.

WHAT CAN I SEE THE PLUSES?

- Avoidance helps to protect yourself from what is causing anxiety. Plus, of course, but dubious - not guaranteeing that it will always come out with it not to come into contact with it. Yes, and the anxiety about whether it will come out to avoid anxiety will not go anywhere.

- Avoidance allows you not to provoke the experience of painful sensations. Nothing but self-deception. Naturally, the wound under the bandage does not look intimidating, especially for others, only it hurts from the bandage no less, and the pain relieves treatment, gentle treatment and the time it takes to heal. Likewise, painful experiences require effort and time.

- Avoidance can give a delay of time until readiness appears. This is a definite plus if you really need time to accumulate strength and resources to meet with what you are leaving or hiding from. But is this avoidance then, or is it a well-built strategy of a person who does not avoid at all, but systematically goes to the goal?

WHAT ARE THE RESTRICTIONS MAY CAUSE AVOIDANCE?

- Avoidance does not allow you to see other alternative solutions, because running away only sees frightening outcomes, thereby limiting the choice to which everyone has the right.

- Avoidance does not provide an opportunity to gain new positive experience, try to use your capabilities, learn to be stronger and more confident in yourself. How can you taste if you refuse to taste?

- Avoidance always causes anxiety, and unaccountable fear spoils the quality of life in all its manifestations.

- Avoidance does not allow you to get clarity, because it always goes along with doubts "a, if, a, suddenly …", which cannot be supported by arguments, what exactly will happen if "ah, suddenly …" alleged fears, perhaps even from past experiences, but not relevant to the present.

What is more significant and significant: the pros or cons of avoidance is, of course, for everyone to decide independently, but not allowing yourself to try to improve your own life, in my opinion, is a crime against yourself.

Well, in conclusion, I would very much like to wish everyone to use the avoidance strategy only in those cases when there is a real threat, and in everyone else, feel free to try, make choices and believe in yourself!