2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-31 14:10
"Did not get along", - how often a variety of thoughts and events are clothed in this decent formula: from boredom to fatal tragedies. Yes, I'm oh divorces.
Sometimes they ask me: "Why does he (she) treat this so simply, as if to go to the dentist, because this is my life ?!" And here is the correction: this is "your" life, in which both shared shelter and bed, dreamed of the future, recalled their first dates. But you lived it in different ways. And it's not easy for each of you. What, at first glance, seems to be such an on the surface option, for another - a difficult choice, sometimes the limit in a relationship. So decide for yourself which side of the barricades you are on? And instead of drowning each other, try to find happiness, because although divorce is not easy and not easy, it is not always a bad thing. Let's see what mistakes literary couples made, and try to understand what caused the collapse of their marriage.
Alexey and Anna Karenins. The femme fatale from the popular novel by Leo Tolstoy, despite the presence of a young son, allowed herself a relationship on the side, because her marriage lacked the main conditions for a good marriage: respect and love. It is respect and love that can create trusting relationships, thanks to which the couple's understanding of the boundaries and needs of the other grows. Both Karenins had neither positive experience of life in the family, because both grew up without parents, nor sufficient experience of relationships with the opposite sex, nor generally positive expectations from life.
- take a look at your parent's relationship: are you repeating the same
- take a look at your parent's relationship: are you repeating the same
- thought, do you love, do you respect your half? This means that you don’t love or respect, otherwise you wouldn’t think about it. Why do you live together? If in your relationship there is no love and respect for each other - do not waste your life on something in which you are not happy. Give yourself the right to be yourself!
- children can strengthen relationships when a couple has achieved their goals and are looking for new joint meanings. But children will never strengthen a relationship where there is no shared challenge. Therefore, do not think that your half will be with you just because you have children in common. It is unfair to put pressure on the pity and heightened sense of responsibility of the other, so if in your relationship there is nothing else but children, get divorced - it will be much more important for the children to respect you, see you honest with yourself, them and each other, and happy in new, full-fledged relationships. Children need happy parents
- loss of oneself, dissolution in everyday life, lack of common vital interests - this is how spouses often look in unhappy marriages. "Nothing to talk about", "we never go anywhere", "we only discuss bills", "we have sex every second Friday of the month" and so on. Routine in a relationship is a serious reason for divorce, even when from the outside it seems that you have an ideal family, a well-established life and there are no sharp corners left that give rise to conflicts. Let me tell you a secret: routine is your laziness, your inertia and infantilism. So, if you feel cramped, perhaps you really, like stuck, found an easy way NOT to live, and now take on your one and only life and try, create, create!
- it is necessary to reflect on relationships, improve them, enrich them with new ones, improve, because life goes on, every day offering new opportunities, and if in a couple everyone has too different dreams, values, pace of life - such relationships are doomed. If you do not want to work in a marriage, are tired of the fact that only you need changes - build new ones!
- if it began to seem that any other partner is better than yours, feel free to carry out an "audit" to understand that you have ceased to suit you, and do not indulge in "all bad", like Emma. Everyone who thinks about divorce in such a situation has reason to ask himself an honest question: before everything was fine or I tolerated (I resigned myself, I agreed, I thought about the best, I was ready for changes), because.., so why is not satisfied now? It is important to understand that cheating does not solve the problem, but only exacerbates it.
- if initially the pair's views are too different, conflicts are inevitable. As a result, the more active in a pair will subordinate the partner to their interests, or everyone will live their own life, their own personal interests, or life will become like a boxing ring. There is no need to compete, you need to value the individuality of another and respect his personal space!
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strong pressure can lead to a breakdown in one of the partners, a loss of faith in oneself, a decrease in self-esteem. Therefore, if marriage destroys you, get out of it for the sake of self-preservation and boldly start a new life!
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Alexey and Anna Karenins. The femme fatale from the popular novel by Leo Tolstoy, despite the presence of a young son, allowed herself a relationship on the side, because her marriage lacked the main conditions for a good marriage: respect and love. It is respect and love that can create trusting relationships, thanks to which the couple's understanding of the boundaries and needs of the other grows. Both Karenins had neither positive experience of life in the family, because both grew up without parents, nor sufficient experience of relationships with the opposite sex, nor generally positive expectations from life.
It's time to start your own!
Charles and Emma Bovary … G. Flaubert in his novel "Madame Bovary" drew attention to the fact that any person, faced with a situation where the desired does not correspond to the reality, is going through a severe personal crisis. If his level of introspection is high enough, it helps him to learn from the situation, change his views or get out of it with honor. Emma Bovary had neither a special mind nor the ability to analyze what was happening and her own actions, and unlike her husband, the level of her aspirations was high enough to create the basis for a deep conflict that had no way out.
Soames and Irene Forsytes … "The Forsyte Saga" by John Galsworthy tells the story of a couple where the divorce was the result of a complete misunderstanding of the life position of the other. Sensual, subtle Irene, full of her own dignity, and the logical pragmatist Soames, who even sees his wife as an investment. Later, the realization of the incorrectness of their own choice led to long years of unhappy, painful marriage for both, from which it turned out to be so difficult to get out.
So, divorce can be a meaningful and rewarding step in your life, make you better and maintain respect for yourself and your ex, and not get to the point that Artul Haley said so aptly:" title="Image" />
So, divorce can be a meaningful and rewarding step in your life, make you better and maintain respect for yourself and your ex, and not get to the point that Artul Haley said so aptly:
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