If Everything Is In Your Head, How Did It Get There?

Video: If Everything Is In Your Head, How Did It Get There?

Video: If Everything Is In Your Head, How Did It Get There?
Video: Giolì & Assia - Inside Your Head (Audio) 2024, March
If Everything Is In Your Head, How Did It Get There?
If Everything Is In Your Head, How Did It Get There?
Anonim

The sellers of happiness will never run out. As never ending, those wishing to buy happiness - wholesale, retail, in small packaging. Trading illusions is a profitable business. The main thing is not to stay in one place for a long time and come up with something new.

I am surprised to notice that the latest trend has been delayed for a long time. It sounds very elegant and everyone hears: "Everything is in your head." Are you upset? There is no reason to be sad - emotions are in your head. Are you having trouble making a million dollars? These are limitations. They are also in your head. You're angry? This is not because they violated your boundaries and took yours from you. This is because in your head there is no place for new experience and gratitude for the lessons of fate. Beliefs prevent you from living well. And beliefs are in your head. So everything is simple. Shake the beliefs out of your head.

I tried to imagine the process of shaking beliefs out of my head. Do you also have a picture of a hollow skull in front of your eyes, which is filled with quotes on rolled pieces of paper? I tilted my head to the left, jumped on one leg - oops! A piece of paper fell out of my ear "You are nothing, even a cockroach has more dignity!" Self-esteem immediately rises to unprecedented heights and allows you to blow your nose into a lace scarf with a new conviction: "Most cannot be wrong!" Great, we got rid of another limitation, we run and jump. Yes, off the cliff. Yes, without insurance - insurance for the majority, which can be wrong. Yes, in free fall from different holes, a bunch of convictions can wake up from blind faith in the law of universal gravitation to the treacherous thought "I am likely to crash."

The process of getting a belief in the head is also very simple. Someone big, like parents or teachers, or even a guru opens the skull of someone small and generously pours copies of pieces of paper from his head in large handfuls, ramming them for density. And coaching or psychotherapy is when someone big again opens his head, but already to someone just as big (of his own free will and for a lot of money), from where the fakir easily takes out the limiting papers and inserts authorizing papers.

It would be an amazing picture. If there were no brain in the human skull. But the brain is there. And that complicates things. First, the brain is given to a person immature. It is in order that, in the process of forming connections between brain cells, which occur in the first three years of human life at a speed of 2 million synapses per second, the new person adapts as well as possible to the physical, social and cultural environment in which he will live further … Some cockroach, by the way, with only 1 million neurons, is born much more prepared for life than a human baby, which has thousands of times more neurons. But even a cockroach will be the last loser if it relies only on what nature has given him from birth. Insects must gain experience and form their beliefs in order to survive and be effective in this not one day, but at least two. "Slippers are dangerous", "breadbasket is tasty" - these limiting beliefs will help the cockroach survive, expanding the boundaries of his knowledge to the beliefs "a newspaper is also dangerous, and a cutlet thrown away is also tasty." To gain new convictions, the cockroach will have to see the death of a relative from the newspaper and try to risk health and taste a new dish from the trash can.

The human baby is extremely dependent on the experience of its parents. Left to himself, the newborn will be able to breathe independently for some time and maintain a thermal balance. He may be able to urinate or empty himself. Everything. To further maintain its existence, adults are needed who already have experience of surviving in this world and ensuring the survival of babies. The adult belief that the infant will not survive without adequate care naturally limits adults. They can no longer freely go to earn millions, leaving the baby without care. Only with a very serious brain damage can the consciousness bearer develop the belief that the infant will survive without care. Because it is contrary to the experience of a living and conscious organism. If the consciousness carrier survived, he received at least minimal care. If he had not received this care, he would not have been. The belief that an infant needs care for survival is embedded in physical existence, personal biography, and the experience of observing the environment. The brain gains beliefs in the process of its formation. The more the carrier of consciousness received experience that contributed to survival, the higher its survival rate. The more experience I got, which contributed not only to survival, but also to development, the higher the level of both his survival and his development. The more the bearer of consciousness received the experience of limitations in basic needs and development, the less resources he has for survival and development. And less variety of survival experience scenarios. Not limiting beliefs, but a lack of variety in strategies. It is important.

I'm trying to smoothly convey the idea that, in my opinion, there are no limiting beliefs to shake out. There is an experience of life in which a person has met with limitations and scarcity of resources. Such a person lacks the experience of diversity, freedom, choice and everything that carries with it a sufficient amount of resources. The experience of severe limitations will be built into the entire fabric of the organism's life. And if a person has survived this experience, this is already his resource. Often the only one. Because no others happened. If you throw away this experience and the beliefs associated with it, what will the person remain with? Will the person stay at all?

Let me remind you that experience is not something that you can read in a book or hear from your parents. Experience is living with the body, emotions and thoughts of a certain segment of life, events and connection with other people or objects. The more often the experience is repeated, the more persistent the belief will be. It takes more than just hearing it once or twice to get the "you're a failure" conviction. You need to hear this when you really got it wrong or wrong. Or "so and so", but in conditions of extremely high demands. In the experience where an additional resource was needed to make it work well. But this resource was not given (hammer in a nail with your bare hands), and even vice versa, was taken away (for example, a hammer or faith in yourself, calling him a loser). You also need to hear this from significant people. And if people are significant, then they are likely to be around long enough for their words to be heard often and perceived with the greatest emotional response. But even if you hear from significant people "you are a loser" while other people, of whom there are many or who are also significant, in a situation where you felt a failure, supported you, believed in you, gave you an emotional resource, or simply showed the most successful strategy (or given a hammer to hammer in a nail), a supportive belief may well form.

Neurophysiologists say that we have different parts of the brain for experiences of success and failure. Roughly speaking, bad experiences are "recorded" in these departments more firmly and retrieved faster. Because it is necessary for physical survival. For a cockroach, "slippers are dangerous" is more important than "bread is tasty". The main thing is to dodge the sneaker, and a healthy cockroach will find something to profit from. Our inner cockroach is doomed to be afraid of the sneaker. But without the experience of luck, survival loses its meaning. Well, I dodged the sneaker, I left my grandfather, I left my grandmother. For what? Am I a trembling creature? It turns out that learning to be happy is a very important function of the brain. The body, which in its time did not receive the resources for experiencing security, pleasure, happiness, works in an extremely tense mode. It requires much more resources to solve those problems that are easily solved by the brain, the owner of which has received a sufficiently satisfactory new experience.

What do I want to say? Nothing good. It is impossible to get rid of limiting beliefs, for the same reason that it is impossible to get rid of darkness. Darkness is the absence of light. The limitation is the lack of a resource. To turn on the light, you have to spend a resource. Light is a stream of moving particles. As soon as the photon stopped, it ceased to exist and the light went out. No energy - no light. Limiting beliefs are that lack of energy. And in order for the energy to appear, it must appear from the outside. Sometimes events develop in such a way that there is a positive experience. Sometimes people appear around a person who are ready to support, give this experience of safety and satisfaction and give it long enough to "teach" that very part of the brain the notorious happiness. There is always someone's resource behind every story of impressive change. Sometimes this resource is also in your head. It's just that access to it is blocked by the traumatic experience. But that's another story. And in order to clear the obstacles to this resource, a resource is also needed.

And how I would like to jump on one leg and so as in childhood. As if water poured out of the ear and began to hear well again. How simple it would be.

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