2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
- Katyuha, my joy! Your ass is what you need! Not like the ex.
- Ekaterina, I have reviewed your report. Things are good. But pay attention to Vladimir's reports, I would like everyone to submit such reports.
- Katya, daughter, Nina Petrovna called me here. Do you remember from the second entrance? So there you go! Her Yulechka gave birth to a son. But she is younger than you. What do you and your Vasily think there?
A swarm of thoughts buzzed in the girl's head to my question: "In what specific situations are you angry with people?"
Katya is 32 years old. She is active, ambitious, intelligent and funny. Loves order in everything. She grew up in a good and loving family, where her parents put a lot of time and effort into the development of the girl. Everything seems to be good both in her career and in relationships, but for some reason a girl often catches herself in dull irritation and anger when communicating with people. Sometimes he gets so angry that he can't hide his feelings. It happens that it breaks down in sharpness.
Katya came to me with a request: “I don’t understand why I am angry. I'm talking to a person. Everything seems to be fine, but suddenly anger rises from somewhere from within. Sometimes I don't feel quite normal about it. Help me to understand!"
I kept asking the client questions. With each answer she plunged deeper and deeper into her memory, remembering herself at the institute:
- Katyusha, if I were you and with your legs, I would not wear such skirts. This model looks great on Lenuska!
- Listen, Katka! Your Yegor is much cooler than Anka's Marat.
Then at school:
- Katia! I don't like your grades getting worse. I know that you can do better. I don't think you're trying hard. Look at Irina Ivanova: she also goes to a music school and does everything in time. Take an example from her!
In kindergarten:
- Katya, look at how Tanechka draws. This is how the jug should be, not like yours.
- Children, look everyone at Katya Tarasova. Katya squats correctly. Do like Katya.
All this chorus of voices sounded in the girl's head, recalling when and under what circumstances she was angry with people. She was angry, sometimes ashamed when she was evaluated and compared with others. Often, anger, shame and awkwardness were mixed, turning into something burning, burning from the inside. Interfering with movement, communication, breathing. Interfering with being.
Childhood echo
Katya's anger is an echo of childhood, when she had to deal with the assessment of adults about what she is and what she should be. Anger, as a marker, that something wrong is happening now that can destroy. Anger as protection from violence. After all, comparison is violence. Implicit, often reasoned with correct phrases, such as "it will be better this way" or covered with "caring" words: "I only wish you well." With the message that the way you are - I don't like / don't like / don't need. Here's your ideal - become that. Violence that eats away slowly and imperceptibly, depriving oneself of faith in oneself and in one's own strength. Violence, equating a person to a thing that can be changed, depending on the wishes of the owner.
Anger, in this case, is an emotional defensive reaction. It acts as a resource that gives confidence, strength and the ability to move, influence the situation, change it or leave it if it is destructive.
When comparison with others destroys
“I seem to understand what’s going on,” Katya told me towards the end of our meeting. “I start to get angry when I feel that I am being compared to someone. It’s like I’m at a brides fair that I’m not going to.
Comparison with another person can be devastating. It doesn't matter which side of the scales a person falls on - a bowl with pluses or a bowl with minuses - both sides lose. Where there are disadvantages, self-esteem, self-esteem and the ability to support oneself suffer. A bowl with pluses in the beginning can bring satisfaction and revitalization. But over time, it poisons existence with a constant need to be better, taller, stronger - this depletes and deprives the ability to enjoy simple things.
Recommended:
If Everything Is In Your Head, How Did It Get There?
The sellers of happiness will never run out. As never ending, those wishing to buy happiness - wholesale, retail, in small packaging. Trading illusions is a profitable business. The main thing is not to stay in one place for a long time and come up with something new.
"How Did You Get It!" Oh, These Adults
Yesterday they sent me this video (my relatives and friends consider it their duty to share with me all the psychological videos and memes! And often they are still waiting for my reaction to them). I looked through it, had fun, thought, and remembered this.
Meeting Website. How To Get Acquainted On A Dating Site. Useful Life Hacks For Future Brides
Meeting website. All girls (even if they don't admit it) want to meet a worthy man, fall in love with him, start a family and have a child / children. Moreover, it is desirable that a worthy man has a decent income, and he is not greedy to share.
Get Rid Of The Idealization Of Your Perfection Urgently! It Spoils Your Life Pretty Much
Idealization of your perfection - this is an ideal model of our qualities, stereotypes of behavior, beliefs, principles, feelings built by us in a mental image. Let's look at one, out of a thousand possible, life examples that perfectly demonstrate the idealization of our perfection.
Anger, Anger, Resentment And Revenge. Where Do Parents Get Their Negativity From?
Anger is one of the basic, that is, innate emotions, the essence of which is, firstly, to signal that my boundaries are somehow not just violated, but harshly violated, and, secondly, to react to this intrusion. It takes a lot of energy to fight back, that's why anger is so strongly “charged”, it excites or “triggers” the sympathetic nervous system, forcing the heart to beat faster, quickens breathing, and mobilizes all the forces of the body.
