2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Idealization of your perfection - this is an ideal model of our qualities, stereotypes of behavior, beliefs, principles, feelings built by us in a mental image. Let's look at one, out of a thousand possible, life examples that perfectly demonstrate the idealization of our perfection. In your ideal image, you are punctual, you never allow yourself to be late. You'd better wait 15 minutes for the person at the appointment, rather than be late yourself. You always leave at least half an hour earlier, and on the road you constantly look at the time so as not to be late. Such people drive in tension all the way (instead of just reading a book, surfing social networks, or just dreaming about something) until they arrive at their destination. It is not difficult to imagine what happens if you are suddenly late and it does not matter, which is not your fault. In transport, you will blame yourself all the same, because you did not foresee traffic jams or an accident, in general, force majeure. You will call a person several times and apologize for being late, while all the way your head will be attacked by thoughts about how you made such a mistake, what others will think of you, you absolutely do not accept non-punctuality in other people, but what you did yourself ?
This can also include the idealization of responsibility (I should be responsible for people), the idealization of my abilities (I should not make mistakes, because I am capable), the idealization of control (I should have everything under control, I would rather do it myself than to whom I trust), etc.
How do people with idealizations spoil their lives?
Here it is not about the mistakes in actions themselves, but about the emotional reactions to them. You are constantly in anxiety, worries, tension. What does this lead to? To the development of insecurity (a cool idea has appeared, but I can implement it for reasons …..), to all kinds of fears (I'm afraid I will get to know a girl / guy, suddenly she / he will refuse me). And as a result of long experiences, hello depression.
What should be done to get rid of such idealizations? Relates easier to himself. You are not perfect and you never will be. No matter how much you improve, in the end you will never become perfect. Accept yourself as you are in reality.
Probably most will say: “So you can relax and stay the way I am. What is soared over trifles? Not at all. One must always strive for the development of one's personality. Life does not get tired, change it, the style of behavior does not suit, change it, if you want to change your beliefs, principles, views, change it. It even needs to be done. But, at the same time, your emotional background should be positive, not negative with very long-term experiences and anxieties.
If you are late, you do not need to react so sharply to this event, as it happened today, nothing will happen to the person if he waits for me for a while. It's not regular for me. There is no need to worry about making a mistake at work, you are a human being in the first place, not a robot (I am not taking serious cases of mistakes here, this is a separate topic). If you have an idea, but someone did not approve of it, this is his vision and he has the right to do so, the main thing is what you think about this. You like it, then embody, but do not fall into apathy, depression, because someone did not approve, and you are so ideal, you cannot come up with "any bullshit."
How to understand that you are idealizing yourself? If you have been experiencing negative emotions for a long time due to the fact that you acted in reality in a completely different way than you should have, then you are definitely idealizing something in yourself. You need to worry, you need to worry, you need to. These emotions are a part of us and there is absolutely no way without them, even if we want to. But, do not exhaust yourself with this negative.
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