2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
When experiencing a crisis or making a decision, a person always tries to explain his choice to others. Often using motives or motives. What's the difference?
Motivation is a subjective, often contrived pretext, with the help of which a person often justifies his actions and deeds, bringing them into line with the norms of behavior in society and with his personal standards. As a result of this, the motivation-statements may not coincide with the actual motives (reasons) of the act and even deliberately mask them.
For example, a woman decided to leave her husband. A variety of accusations are brought against his relatives and friends, and even the husband himself: he drinks regularly, earns little, does not communicate with children, is sloppy and not tidy…. This kind of motivation is not unfounded, and many will agree with the woman: "You have to run away from such a husband!" And he will run away … But he will meet someone from whom he wants to leave again. Why? And all because the true motive of her search is not realized.
Motive is often not recognized, but the true reason for behavior. This is what remains inside, explanations for oneself, what is not presented to people, this is too personal. Opening up the structure of a motive means nothing more than "getting into the soul" of oneself or another person, and not everyone wants this. A person's unwillingness to open up to another or to admit to himself the true reasons for an act leads to the emergence of "protective mechanisms" "There is no warmth between me and my husband," the woman says at the consultation. society is not ashamed to appear …"
Why do people deceive themselves by favoring false goals in motive? Because a person willingly looks the truth in the eye only when it is pleasant to him, when the act is justified in his own eyes. With the help of substitution, substitution, a person tries to evade remorse, reproaches from other people, etc. Motivation, therefore, is often what is called an excuse in everyday life.
It takes a certain courage to learn to be aware of and recognize your true motives, often this is possible only with the help of a specialist (psychologist, psychotherapist). But it is vitally important to do this if you do not want to get "my favorite rake"
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