2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
People often confuse concepts such as "being an adult" and "being matured"
The first word - more often refers to dates. In your passport. The numbers by which you know when your birthday is, how old you are and for communicating with others: "I am 30 years old, I am already big", "I am 40 years old and I am successful."
The second is an internal process that in no way (well, in no way at all) relates to the first. So you can see 70-year-olds in the body of 10-year-olds (with depression, emotional disorders, with psychosomatic diseases), in a word - Little Old Men. Internal Oldies. Or watch a 7-8 year old girl in the body of a 30-35 year old woman
More often these metamorphoses with us are hardly realized in reality. They just live in them. Suffer. Sometimes it hurts me to watch them. Sometimes, however, some of them actively strive for self-knowledge.
After all, "growing up" is exactly the process that allows you to live a full life. Breathe deeply. Be aware of all reality around yourself. Be in touch with yourself and others. Be in integrity. Be in emotional development. Be natural, spontaneous. Be ALIVE, not artificial.
We grow up when:
1. Stop waiting. Monday. New Year. Happiness. The man or woman who kills us. Better job. Best time. The best way, etc. (you can continue the list yourself) And we know how to enjoy every moment ("here and now"), and not expectations. We know how to see the world around us, enjoy it, develop, experience different states.
2. We openly say "NO". Circumstances. For men. For women. Chiefs. For lovers. TO PARENTS.
And we endure all the consequences of our refusal to others.
And also, when able to endure strangers NO. Without a sense of abandonment and abandonment.
3. We endure "hard" feelings
Anger, sadness, point, helplessness are all states of one's own identity. We withstand all this without failing from reality. Without panic attacks (sudden fear), without sore throats (as "not being able to say, expressing"), otitis media ("as difficulty to hear and endure unpleasant words, sounds"). With pain and tears. With self-support. With self-care.
4. We are not looking for crowds and entertainment (relationships, including disposable ones), but are able to endure ourselves alone. In silence. In inner nirvana.
5. We do not look for excuses for our actions or inaction. We are responsible for ourselves and our lives.
6. We do not seek to change others, but we understand that changes lie within ourselves. It's up to us to decide who will be next to us. Or it won't. Without the requirements of what other people need to be, so that you feel comfortable with them.
7. Yes … and more … matured people enter into relationships (develop, are able to delve into them), those who are not mature - get involved … With alcoholics, gambling boys, husbands and other objects …
All other markers: the ability to control your feelings, "be comfortable and socially approved", "be successful", "be married", "have children", etc. - this is not about growing up! Inside, we remain little wounded children, even if we have achieved social success. In spite of everything.
With respect to all who have gone the path of growing up, those who are walking and those who have not yet started.
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