Relationships Instead Of A Mirror

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Nowhere else can you learn so much truth about yourself as from a relationship

Here you live with complete confidence that you are a real gift for a relationship and any, literally every first woman will be happy even from your simple look, not to mention a relationship. And then these next relationships begin and for some reason they tell you again that in a relationship at least sometimes it is important to spend time together, and not just playing a computer game, it is important to respect each other's boundaries and needs, and not just yours, it is important to look for compromises, and do not humiliate and insult at the first opportunity.

Or so. You live in complete confidence that only someone who can solve 100% of your problems can be called a man. From financial (this is his duty, you’re a woman, you don’t have to work at all, your task is to be beautiful and happy, remember?) To any others (mood, work, travel plan). And if he has temporary difficulties at work, a crisis of the genre or existential, depression, then by default he is no longer considered a man, but is considered a weakling. You don't want to hear anything about "personal responsibility" because solving problems is a man's job.

So that's it. Nowhere can you learn so much truth about yourself as from a relationship. And it doesn't have to be a relationship with a partner. Girlfriend, colleague and brother shine well too.

And here you are looking into this mirror surface and the fact that you are there with all your might trying not to notice, and there is - you. And often, sometimes more often than you would like, you do not see your best side.

No matter how much you would like to believe in your own masculinity and nobility, no one will see them in you behind the beating of your pregnant wife. No matter how you justify your act by her “annoyance” or, in general, “self-defense”, this story will always be in your “history”.

As much as you would like to see yourself as a goddess of wealth or a successful businesswoman, you will not pull this role if at 35 you still live on the money of your dad, another guy and in your dictionary there is only “I need” without “I can” …

In close relationships, you see yourself on the other side. Because your personal boundaries bump into the boundaries of another. And there, in this collision, there may be, for example, fear. To remain abandoned and broken. And then you will be the first to throw so that someone else does not do it to you. There may be infantilism. Which you do not allow yourself, because you have been taking care of yourself since the age of 11. Or, on the contrary, you allow, but do not actively recognize in yourself. And then the partner will necessarily anger and often annoy over trifles.

There may be envy, for example, of the freedom that you have never allowed yourself. Strength and endurance, which you never got, although for a long time "should have." The tenderness that you missed so much as a child.

And a long-term relationship is another test. In this regard, making a two-hour film is much easier than ten seasons of the series. Because keeping the thread of the plot, some kind of intrigue and interest from a series to a series is not an easy task. How and in time to understand that further the storyline has reached an impasse and either another perspective is needed, or simply the end of the series.

And a long-term relationship is another test. In this regard, making a two-hour film is much easier than ten seasons of the series. Because keeping the thread of the plot, some kind of intrigue and interest from the series to the series is not an easy task. How and in time to understand that further the storyline has reached an impasse and either another perspective is needed, or simply the end of the series.

We recognize ourselves for the most part through contact with other people, different from ourselves. We let them go so close that we can see ourselves in them. And yes, sometimes you can notice with horror your own imperfection, it's like noticing the spinach in your teeth with which you praised yourself in an interview. But it depends only on you what to do with this discovery and who will be "to blame" for this. And it's up to you to decide whether it will be a gentlemanly "fast and furious 194" with another "unexpected" plot or a new series, each season of which you will nominate for your personal "palm branch". Make up your mind:)