2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
In half of the couples, the beginning of a regular intimate life leads not to strengthening, but to a deterioration in relations.
Every second divorce is associated with intimate disharmony in a couple.
In formal terms, this is a paradox. It seems that a man and a woman, after several months or years of friendship, having already begun to live together, would have to fully reveal themselves in the sphere sex, endow each other with all the benefits of a stable intimate life. However, something is going wrong!
Now I will explain. How do girls grow up, what is their childhood? The girl grows up in a positive way: she plays with dolls in family games, such as “mom-dad-children”, helps her parents, obeys adults, tries to be a “good girl”. Boys, on the contrary, grow up on the negative: they play destructive games like "war games", they break and disassemble everything, fight, do not obey adults, shy away from helping their mothers and fathers, practically do not play with the family.
Respectively, girls grow up, wanting to reproduce a situation familiar to the world: to get married, to love a husband and children, to take place at work, to travel around the world, to live in peace, happiness and prosperity. Boys turn into men, first of all wanting to live by their own rules! Often in spite of everything their parents and teachers teach them. They grow up, desperate to get out of the forbidding adult control. And since their upbringing is primarily concerned with mothers and grandmothers-sisters, their task is to get out of the control of women!
Most men live their whole lives diligently evading that female control, and those maternal prohibitions from which they were so tired in childhood.
Accordingly, when, in the course of love and family relationships, girls suddenly begin to decide for men what they can and cannot in bed, they automatically turn for them … into mothers! Of course, in beloved ones, but, of course, in completely non-sexual ones. And of course, it never occurs to any of the normal men to marry … mom.
But the most important thing, this is that the desire of girls to prevent something from their potential groom in the field of intimacy immediately brings him back to that deep childhood, when his mother decided for him what was allowed and what was not. Deals a powerful blow to male pride, causes wild irritation, often rage.
I repeat:
A man grows up to live by his own rules, to get what he wants himself!
Including - in sex, especially - in sex!
Why do men start to get intimidated by their very serious grown-ups and successful girls or wives? The point is that, according to most men,
Sex is not an alluring female body, sex is a SPECIAL female BEHAVIOR.
This is where the problem comes in. The fact is that a woman is sexually active when she feels a kind and good attitude from a man, his sexual attunement at this moment is secondary, not so important. But a man, on the contrary, is usually sexually active only when he notices such female behavior, which he regards as sexual. In real life, a man does not run to get to know everyone in a row: he chooses, first of all, those ladies who, in his opinion, behave in such a way as to specifically signal their desire for sex, their desire to create a love and intimate relationship with someone.(A man can be very mistaken in this, he can misinterpret the female behavior, but this is not important! The main thing is that even reacting to a woman’s fictional readiness for sex, the man still reacted precisely to the peculiarity of female behavior, to the fact that it was like something different from the usual household, educational, friendly or official!).
The whole problem here is that having started a family, most women gradually cease to behave in a sexual, demonstrative, playful, aggressive, humorous manner, they do not consider it necessary to make their behavior SPECIAL the way they themselves did at the beginning of the relationship. Married women seem to be in line with harsh housewives, civil servants or business women, they may be just perfect, but they no longer demonstrate exactly that special behavior that men perceive as sexual! So oblivion comes into the intimate sphere. Let me emphasize again:
For arousing male sexuality primaryit is female demonstrativesexual behavior (playfulness, smiles, laughter, special look, special gestures), and beautiful underwear and robes, a well-groomed body, a good haircut, manicures and tanning salons - nothing more than secondary !
Unlike women who can have sex even with just those men whom they value and respect, with those whom they consider “theirs,” men consider those ladies whom they clearly respect are especially non-sexual! But those ladies whom they do not respect, but who behave sexually interesting, they really, really want to get into their bed. And they just may not respect a woman because of her demonstrative sexuality, but at the same time, they can want her sexually especially strongly!
Men rarely have sex with the ladies they respect. Usually they have sex with those they want, more precisely with those who know how to make men want them.
Now I'm sure you understand everything perfectly.
Unlike women, for whom the sexual motive in communicating with her husband is only secondary to common household and maternal concerns, the primacy of male sexual motivation in a long-term love affair or family does not disappear at all! A woman is in the mood for sex with her husband simply because this is her husband, and he treats her well. But for a man to sexually want his wife, it is not enough for him that she is a wife: he needs his wife to behave exactly like a woman, that is, emphatically sexy, slightly aggressive, if I may put it that way, somewhat "vulgar" and "dirty", a bit playfully shamelessly. If she behaves correctly and calmly, if she wears beautiful underwear, but at the same time she only wears it, and does not show it furtively from under her dressing gown, if she comes up to the marital bed in the evening, undresses and just lies down in it (counting on that her husband will automatically want her right there), then you can be firmly sure: normal intimate relationships in this couple will not last very long! Therefore, I ask my readers to remember:
Excessive seriousness of wives combined with an intimate "obligation" is an anti-sexual type of behavior and paralyzes male activity in the family.
This is where male family shame and awkwardness is born! Seeing in front of him either an overly domesticated or super-administrative wife, without noticing her emphasized sexual behavior, the husband sees in her only a kind of analogue of his harsh mother. A woman who is always serious and focused on something is something that is not just nonsexual for a man, but especially anti-sexual; it makes one think about a certain “sinfulness” of intimate life and the fact that all this is very, very shameful.
Since one of the tasks of sex so forbidden in childhood is, among other things, instant emotional liberation, the explosion of those supposedly indecent passions that are usually forbidden, for a man sex, by its definition, cannot be associated with quiet family happiness, it cannot be measured and obligatory! Sex for a man is an explosion, an opportunity to show his, if I may say so low, animal nature, an unexpectedly received sweet right to knock down, take possession and make his lady do exactly what he wants! As you yourself understand, it is almost impossible to show your male bestial erotic riot in relation to a serious mother and a responsible employee in one bottle, in relation to someone whom a man values and respects is almost impossible!
That is why, having a beloved and respected wife, men so often strive for "real sex" with those whom they do not respect, do not value, do not know whom they simply use, with whom they simply have sex for the sake of sex itself: with random acquaintances, fellow travelers, seconded together, prostitutes, legendary secretaries, those ladies who depend on them financially, etc. etc. To those whom men appreciate only because they behave precisely sexually: they not only dress appropriately, but also undress ESPECIALLY appropriately, behave accordingly. The fix is simple:
If you want to maintain the sexual fervor of youth for as long as possible, fight your sexual maturity
In general, do not try to get old sexually! Laugh often. Just cuddle around on sofas or carpet on the floor. Sit on each other's lap while watching movies. Climb into each other's bathroom. Bother each other in the elevator or at a party. Pet each other in different pleasant places, sitting in cinemas or cafes. Come up with new nicknames. Write funny and awkward SMS. Occasionally have sex with your clothes on. Buy condoms together. Go outdoors regularly. Watch the ice on the rivers in the spring, have sex in the car at this time. Go to the pool together. Revitalize and renew your sex regularly, and then your overall physical old age will have to wait for you! Remember:
If you want to provide yourself with good sex, by no means be too good
And this is actually the case! By mistake, the style of a caring mother-daughter you once adopted is able to discourage men from any thoughts about sex with you, but at the same time not kill the male desire for sex in general and thereby lead to guaranteed sexual conflicts and infidelities. Consider my comparison:
A good girl for a man is like a hedgehog for a fox: she walks around the bush, but does not know which side to come from. As a result, he leaves with nothing
Remember:
Sex can endure anything, but normally developed men and women will not endure long without sex
And if so, then do not tolerate and do not force to endure your beloved man!
Remember:
Sexual hunger is best overcome together
Do this, do not be ashamed of anything and do not be shy about anything!
Recommended:
💥 How Do They Take A Husband Out Of The Family? 💥 Family Psychologist Zberovsky Will Tell All The Tricks And Tricks Of The Mistresses
Step 1. Sex leaves the family for a mistress. Since the real average number of sexual contacts that suit an ordinary person is three to four a week, personal meetings of lovers should take place at least three times a week and always be accompanied by intimacy.
Family Psychologist And Family Therapy
In the second part of the article, I will focus on the family therapy itself. Let me remind you that a family therapist views the family not as separate and completely independent people, but as an integral system, which has its own laws and characteristics.
Family Goals And Success. The Goals Of Modern Men. Five Types Of Family Troubles Due To Differences In The Understanding Of The Concept Of "success" And Goals In Life
Family goals. When I started practicing family psychology twenty years ago, that was exactly how it was. About a third of conflicts in love and married couples arose precisely for these reasons: earlier, the difference in the goals of life was due to the usual way of life and the stereotypes of the parents' life.
FAMILY LIFE. 6 BASIC FAMILY LIFE SCENARIOS FROM A FAMILY PSYCHOLOGIST
Family life. As you can see, family psychologists cannot fundamentally solve the divorce situation. But, nevertheless, since we, family psychologists, still exist, we must at least somehow help men and women, husbands and wives, their children and relatives.
What Makes A Family? Three Types Of Modern Family From Family Psychologist Zberovsky
What makes a family? In practice, there are only three explanations for creating a family: - Because both partners love each other or experience other bright and strong positive emotions: affection, emotional comfort, intimate attraction, jealousy, the desire to have children together, etc.
