2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
One day the master asked his disciples:
- There were three birds sitting on the tree, one of them decided to fly away. How many birds are left to sit on the branch?
Many answered:
- Two!
- Nothing of the kind, - objected the master, - three! Deciding to fly away is not yet to fly away. This is just a decision, and there should be actions after the decision is made.
So - decision and action. Let's imagine a hypothetical situation - the client receives support from the therapist at the reception and makes his own, unique decision about how to act in the future. Time passes, the positive charge melts every day, and the time "H", appointed for the transition to a new action, does not come and does not come … In the end, having returned along a sinusoid to the starting point, the client comes to the next consultation in frustrated feelings and can even make a claim - they say I already understood everything, why nothing has changed? Or even so - to get a new "magic pendel" and close in this circle like the notorious Ouroboros. But there is no improvement.
Decision gives hope and action creates fear. The solution is inside, you can talk about it or not talk about it. It is something that a person has influence over and what he can control. The decision can give a sense of power over the situation. But action is a completely different story. The action is usually directed outward in one way or another, even if it refers to a change in some nuances of one's own behavior. It can (and most likely will) be noticed by others, perhaps even provoke a response. A person cannot influence the reaction of others, he does not control this situation. Assuming certain consequences according to the theory of probability, he still must act at his own peril and risk. And to act at your own peril and risk is … scary! And risky!
So it turns out that making a decision and praising yourself for it is done, but further actions in this direction are only in the project.
There may also be such a situation - a person may "get hooked" on temporary relief from decisions such as drugs. Such people can take many courses from "personal growth" to "leadership" solely for the sake of this feeling - "I decided that from tomorrow everything will be different!" In fact, everything will be the same, but the whole evening a person will spend in happy euphoria from the realization of positive "changes" in his life. And when the euphoria wears off, they will go to look for new courses, a new therapist and a new drug. The illusion of action creates a surrogate for improving the quality of life. The Ouroboros effect deepens with each round of events.
To help such a client, the psychotherapist needs to notice this addiction in time and provide help and support taking into account this problem. This includes working with fears, and self-confidence, and even, as in the classical stages of dealing with addiction, the recognition of the existence of such a problem.
You can imagine a scheme: decision -> action -> evaluation of the result.
In this case, the central link falls out, but the person sincerely awaits the onset of the third stage. And he needs to understand that he does not come, not because he made the wrong decision, but because one decision is not enough. You still need to let go of your tail and start moving forward.
And finally:
One man dreamed of winning the lottery. Every day he came to the temple, kneeled down and asked God:
- Lord, help me win the lottery!
A month passed, the second … Once a man, as usual, came to the temple, knelt down and began to pray:
- Lord, let me win the lottery! After all, others are winning. What does it cost you ?!
Suddenly, the voice of the Almighty was heard over his head:
- Yes, you finally buy a lottery ticket!
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