9 Rules For Communicating With Children

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

When communicating with children from parents, you can hear phrases like

"Do you need to repeat a hundred times, what would you do …" …

Why do parents spend so much nerves, forces, emotions, but there is no result? Why can't the child hear them?

The fact is that the perception of children differs from the perception of an adult. And if parents want to be heard by their children, this point must be taken into account

Here are some guidelines to help you interact with your kids.

Rule 1

EYE CONTACT

A child's concentration of attention is not the same as that of an adult, therefore, when a child is busy with his own business (plays, draws, builds a tower of blocks, etc.) he is carried away and at this moment is not able to hear what adults are saying to him.

Before you say something or ask for something, the child's attention must be turned to himself. There is no point in shouting from the next room, eye contact is needed. Pay the child's attention to yourself, refer to him by name (at this moment you can touch the shoulder or take his hand) "Dima, look at me", "Lena, listen to what I tell you"

Rule 2

ONE JOB

Such requests as “Take off your clothes, wash your hands and put your things away” or “Take away your toys, wash yourself and go to sleep” for an adult is as easy as shelling pears, what is not clear here and why does the child not obey?

And for children it is very difficult to remember several things, to do them sequentially and not to forget anything. Children simply "hang" on such a volume of tasks.

Give your child only one task and only after completing it, move on to the next.

Rule 3

SPEAK THE SAME

For example, a mother wants her daughter to tie her hair and instead of the unambiguous “Anya, tie her hair,” she says to her, “Are you going to walk around shaggy for a long time? Children take words literally. Anya can answer whether she will walk shaggy for a long time or not, but taking the phrase as a call to action and guessing that she needs to tie her hair will be hard for her.

Therefore, say all requests so that they are clear to the child.

Rule 4

BRIEF

If the child did something wrong, the parents can start giving the child a whole lecture about how bad it is and what consequences it can entail, give examples with the participation of other children, etc. At this moment, the parents do not at all think that such a large stream of words is simply not perceived by the child, he is confused and does not understand what the speech is about.

For example, it is enough to say, “You cannot approach other people's dogs, because they can bite,” and it is not necessary to tell in paints about how someone was bitten and frightened by forty injections from rabies, etc.

Rule 5

FORGET ABOUT THE SCREAM

Screaming, even in an adult, causes anxiety and fear, which in turn reduces the ability to think. The child will say that he understood everything, say that he heard everything, even ask for forgiveness if only to stop the cry. In fact, you will never be heard. Think about how you yourself feel when you are spoken to in a raised voice. Do you want to perceive information presented in this form?

Rule 6

GIVE YOUR CHILD TIME

Sometimes parents require their children to immediately obey their requests.

Children, like adults, cannot quickly switch from exciting activities to fulfill some of your requests. Therefore, if a child, for example, paints, it is not necessary to force him to immediately drop everything and go to eat. You can say: "Katya, paint the roof of this house and go to eat"

Rule 7

REMOVE THE PARTICLE "NOT" IN REQUESTS

Such requests as "Do not walk in the mud!", "Do not shout!" are perceived as a call to action, since the "not" particle is missed by the child's perception.

Try to rephrase so that the particle "does not" go away. For example, "Get around the dirt", "Speak quietly"

Rule 8

EXCLUDE HYPEROPEKA

There are parents who very often straighten their child:

"Caution, step", "Don't get in there, you will fall", "Stop, there is a puddle", etc. After all, the child is studying the world. And with the active study of it, you need to be nearby, help climb the stairs, and not prohibit climbing on it, because the child will fall. What, for example, is terrible if a child runs through a puddle? Evaluate for yourself how many times you warn the child per day and how many of these "amulets" are really necessary.

When a child hears "empty" warnings a hundred times a day, he begins to perceive them as a "background" and when you really want to warn the child about something, he simply will not hear you.

Rule 9

LEARN TO HEAR THE CHILD

If you want your child to hear you, learn to hear your child. The child is our reflection and it is not the amount of time spent with the child that matters, the quality is important. If a child enthusiastically talks about something very important for him, for example, about a grasshopper found in the grass, and you just nod your head indifferently, and you yourself are in your thoughts, then you are next to the child, but not with him and the child is feels. As a rule, such children begin to attract the attention of adults by their disobedience.