2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Today I want to talk about how girls feel about their appearance. Someone was lucky to hear many compliments in childhood, parents tried to make their daughters look good. These girls know that they are attractive and for them it is a pleasure to dress up. And someone was told that they were “not beautiful”. At best, "so-so". And dressing up is bad. This is a sign of promiscuity, bad taste, or something else. Only good marks and achievements are worthy of attention: at the Olympiads, sports, music competitions, etc., etc.…. It is clear that the attitude to their own appearance among girls, with each model of upbringing, will be very different.
Practical example. A young girl, let's call her Lena, an excellent student. Lena says: - I am enraged by stupid people, I would like to treat them calmly. One of the popular mechanisms of psychological defense, projection, is the attribution of one's own qualities, feelings and desires to another person. The projection fits so organically into our life that we do not notice it. For example, when we say to a friend, “You have sad eyes today,” we might attribute our own sadness to her. The assumption that the other person is hungry may correspond to our desire to eat. Projection becomes a problem when we are constantly irritated by certain actions of others. Irritation is a sign of projection. What is not accepted in oneself becomes very noticeable in others and begins to ANNOY. - Draw wit and stupidity. - Mind - brain, books, symposium.
- The female figure in the figure in a dress and heels, but with a cropped head. What does the head mean to you? - This is the mind. - With what words did your parents praise you as a child? - You're so smart. It is very important for me when I am considered smart, they turn to me for advice. Then I feel needed and important. - What did your parents say about your appearance? - They said: "The ugly girl is growing, but SMART." It was especially offensive to hear this in adolescence. - What clothes did you wear as a teenager? - I was a well-fed girl and, grandmother, coming to the Children's World, and shrugging her hands, gloatingly said: "You see, there is nothing for you here." She bought me shapeless, old lady's things at the market. Mom only bought me pants. I felt like a kid, then a granny. Even the thought was not allowed that I could choose clothes myself. “You and the mind have become one. And the external attractiveness seemed to have gone to other girls. And you devalued her to make it easier to live without her. Your parents thought you were ugly, and you agreed with that. - Of course, I had no idea to doubt the words of my parents. I have a mind, other girls have beauty. What can you do about it? Even in the class there was a boy who constantly teased me, pulled my braid. And my best friend told him my secrets. It was terrifying to experience all of this. - Imagine yourself as this classmate. How does he feel about Lena? Being in the place of an annoying classmate, Lena suddenly remarked with surprise: “Yes, I like her! All aggression directed at her is a way to hide her sympathy so that no one will guess. " The following words came from the role of “girlfriend”: “I am very interested in this boy. It seems to me that by belittling Lenka, I am rising in his eyes”- This is the realization! It turns out that my friend betrayed me in order to please the boy, and he chose me. - And what does this fact say about your attractiveness? - It turns out that I am quite attractive. Other examples of male attention now come to mind. I was invited to the cinema, offered to be friends. There were always men who liked me by my side. And I didn’t seem to notice it. - Where the mind is, you portrayed male figures, and where stupidity is female. If I didn't know who women are, how would you explain it to me? “Women are stupid useless creatures.- Who in your family thought so? - Everything. “I heard that mom only bought you pants. What gender do you consider yourself to? - It's hard for me to say that I am a woman. - So you're a man? - No, I'm not a man. - Then who are you? Lena thought for a while and said uncertainly: - I have a female body. So I am a woman. - If you are a woman, can you wear dresses? He laughs. - Yes, and even heels. - If you are in a dress and heels, where will your mind go? - He will stay with me. - So, even in a dress and heels, you will remain smart. You are an intelligent and attractive woman. Or rather, a girl. How do you hear that? - Somehow in a new way. But I like. - When you're in a dress and heels, and. you are a smart and attractive girl, how do you feel about other girls you think are “stupid”? - When I feel both beautiful and smart, I no longer compare myself with other girls. I don't care how they look, smart or stupid. It is a very pleasant state to feel whole.
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