2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
The situation is not new and has been praised many times in folk art. But from this it is no less painful and traumatic for each specific woman who dwells in her.
I will talk about the betrayal of a man to a woman. I had such an experience and I have something to share.
So, you are in a relationship and one fine day the news of his betrayal arrives like a "stone" in your head.
Further in one of two scenarios:
1) You were already aware of his campaigns "to the left" and as the "wisest" of women you close your eyes to all this shit. We are talking about getting on the addiction needle (material / emotional), akin to drug addiction. You bought your pride a one-way ticket to Antarctica. Such relationships should be discussed separately.
2) Here's another option: you found out about the betrayal and you broke up. The picture of getting out of this situation is identical with the stages of accepting grief.
• Denial is the stage of slight insanity.
During this period, you still do not understand what happened. In the morning, the hand automatically reaches out to write “Good morning. Love you . Conditioned reflexes fight unconditioned ones. Emotionally: a state of confusion, because yesterday you discussed with him the layout of a shared apartment and chose the names of the common children, and today you are alone. Old plans have collapsed and new ones have not yet been built.
What to do: ask for support from loved ones or contact a psychologist. Talk, talk a lot. You must "ground" (remove from your head and put into words / actions) your emotions. Conversation and physical activity (sports, yoga, dancing) will make them more structured.
• Anger. In no case should you skip this step. Emotional dynamics must be respected. If the situation allows, you can speak to his face. Yes, some also say that "the queen must leave with her head held high." I do not share this opinion. The truth must reach the addressee)). But there is one important nuance: the conversation should take place once, and not develop into a series of thematic brainwashing meetings.
If this is not possible, use the "unsent letter" technique - splash out your emotions on paper.
• Bidding: you returned from a state of shock to "here and now" and began to understand that the reality without this person is different. It doesn't matter whether it is better or worse, but the familiar is no longer there. There is an acute pity to return everything and "live as we used to live."
What to do: 1) give the phone to your friend for overexposure (you can do that) 2) make a promise to yourself: not to sort things out. If he wants to rectify the situation, the initiative is his. Take care of what you have been putting in a long box for a long time: travel, go in for sports, hiking in the mountains … anything that will bring you NEW positive emotions will do.
• Depression: separation is equal to the loss of a loved one. And I don’t believe anyone who will say that she maintains a “good” relationship with the “ex”. There can be no friendship. If you are friends, this is a prolonged trading period. ⠀
What to do: structure your time, occupy yourself to the maximum without leaving yourself a day of felting and sadness. One way or another, memories will come back from time to time (this is how associative memory works).
Your task, difficult and at the same time interesting: to create for yourself a new way of life, "without this person."
Chat with other men, even if everyone pisses you off. Find yourself in creativity or develop your business … Every day water your love for your favorite work or hobby. This will pay dividends in the future.
Important: 1) if apathy and loss of strength last more than two weeks 2) you skip meals and suffer from insomnia - a psychologist / psychotherapist is mandatory. Otherwise, the way out of the parting can stretch out and take more strength, health and time from you than it could. Baby, and this is the most valuable thing;)
• Adoption. You can look at the situation from the outside and even highlight the positive aspects of your breakup.
By this period, a restructuring of your thinking takes place. Make a list of items titled: "Why I'm better off without him than with him."
And if you feel that you cannot cope for a long time, contact a specialist. Love yourself, because the main person in your life is YOU.
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