2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
In my opinion, one of the most important obstacles on the way to the goal, and even to a happy, harmonious life, is negative emotions, namely, excuses, guilt, blaming others, anger, seeking the extreme, etc.
But where do they come from ?! All of the above emotions are acquired, and are the result of childhood experiences under the age of 6.
The cause of negative emotions is destructive criticism in childhood.
And if you look even deeper, there is a lack of love at the root. As I would like to say parents, dear, love your children! In order not to observe how negative emotions destroy them from the inside, interfere with living a full life. Everything seems to be simple. That's just how a person can give something that he himself does not have. After all, not for the sake of fun and experiments, many parents did not give their children love, affection, warmth, care, they themselves did not have this, therefore there is nothing to share - it is pointless to blame them for this!
What is needed in order for a child to live in love and feel it:
- First of all, learn to love yourself
- Second, parents must love each other so that the child sees an exemplary model of behavior from childhood.
- And of course, parents must love the child
Not feeling love, the child thinks that something is wrong with him, and here the first and most destructive feeling arises - this feeling of guilt!
It is an infection that eats from the inside. A person can, on a subconscious level, consider himself the source of all troubles and carry this feeling of guilt in himself, which, in addition, is accompanied by auto-aggression. (i.e. aggression directed at oneself, hence injuries, bruises, cuts)
Or he can blame others, thereby constantly finding excuses for his failures, or use this feeling to manipulate other people. Every time. When you blame someone for your mistakes, you lose your own strength, weaken and lose confidence, feeling anger and irritation fill you. Refuse to do this.
These two types of people are united by the inability to take responsibility for their actions, and as a result, for their lives.
If in childhood, parents inspire a child with a sense of guilt, then in an adult this manifests itself in the language of the victim:
“I can't,” “I won't succeed,” when a person puts himself in the position of a victim and, as it were, asks for forgiveness in advance.
Or
“I have to, but I cannot”, “I will try”, “I will try”, thus the person warns in advance that he will not succeed, so that they would not be angry with him later.
Another word markers: "That's a pity", "That would be", "If only."
The good news is that negative emotions can be transformed into positive ones. So, we change:
- "I have to, but I can't", on the
I will not do this / I decided not to do this.
- "I will try", "I will try", on the
I will do it / I will not do it.
To stay positive, stop criticizing, complaining, or judging other people.
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