How Insight Works: Vital Attitudes

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

If we describe very briefly what exactly the Bodily insight works with, then first of all, "insight works with unnecessary vital attitudes that hinder development and self-determination." *

These are the attitudes that were laid down in (early) childhood, usually by the mother as "vital threats" and later became automatisms that a person cannot get rid of on their own … Why can't it? Namely because the vital attitude is that absolute "taboo" that is associated with a threat to life, and the violation of which includes the instinct of self-preservation at the biological level. Those. "over the head" with this, you can not just argue, but, most likely, you will not even approach.

What is a "vital threat" and how do mothers "lay" these attitudes in their children?

In order not to complicate, I will write in the simplest possible words: there are situations in which the mother gives the child a clear and unambiguous message "STOP, otherwise YOU WILL DIE!" Such a message is very expedient in the evolutionary sense and is really aimed at preserving the life of the child, therefore, the reaction of the child himself is deeply unconscious (automatic) and not amenable to conscious, intelligent regulation. Those. the child is not able to perceive this message of the mother at least somehow critically, it is such "It is impossible, because the mother said", not subject to discussion and even pondering. And in those situations when it is really about danger, this is a saving mechanism.

But, as usual, here comes important "but": it is not always that when mothers are given this special message, it is a threat to life.

What is this "vital message"? It consists of the following behavioral components:

- sharp movements, - harsh / loud voice (shouting, scolding), - distorted voice (for example, angry hiss, scared tone, threatening tone, voice dull with despair / grief)

- distortion of facial expressions (freezing, horror, anger, disgust, etc., which in literature is often described by the phrase "she has changed in her face")

- the total intensity of the impact.

I think, after reading this list, many remembered their childhood … Yes, unfortunately, many mothers use all of the listed things to make their child more comfortable, more educated, to stop his behavior that is annoying at the moment - or even because that they simply cannot restrain themselves, have no other tools to master the situation, and themselves were once traumatized in exactly the same way. As a result, as indisputable attitudes, both what is really important and necessary in general (not to run out under the car, not to stick your fingers into the socket) and what was necessary at some point in upbringing, and what does not apply at all are recorded as indisputable attitudes. to the level of "life threat" (for example, breaking a vase, putting on inappropriate clothes, stepping into a puddle, getting dirty, expressing your opinion, etc.)

And this strange "cocktail" of the necessary, outdated / outdated / outdated and unnecessary turns out to be "written" inside a person as a marker of mortal danger. It seems to me that a metaphor would be appropriate here, for example, a diaper, which, as we know, is very necessary and convenient at some stage of life, but hardly anyone would agree to wear it always. And if you imagine that this diaper, no matter how it interferes, in no case can be removed, because my mother said that it is "Impossible!" - then it becomes well understood how we all live with old vital attitudes, and how necessary it is to get rid of them for a more fulfilling and, in fact, our own life in all senses.

* a quote from a lecture by Marina Vladimirovna Belokurova, the creator of the Bodily Insight method