2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
A crisis is always about the fact that something familiar is crumbling, about what it was like, it will no longer be, and what will be how will be unknown. And oh, what is unknown is alarming. The strength goes to the alarm.
One of my tasks in the psychotherapy of individuals in crisis, I consider the detection of obstacles that block access to possible resources of the individual, which for one reason or another are not used by him.
What could be the resources?
- material: financial opportunities and material fetishes, in particular a house, clothes, jewelry, cars, etc.
- external: physical, social, professional, cultural, political, institutional opportunities, in particular, the support of social networks, family, friends, significant others, social institutions, social, professional groups to which the personality and relationships in them belong, intergenerational relations.
- internal resources: physiological, psychophysiological, mental, psychological, personal, existential, etc.
One of the most important external resources is the people around you: relatives, friends, acquaintances, colleagues, neighbors. Think about who and what can be your support during the crisis. Who will be able to provide material, physical and emotional support?
And do you know how to ask for support? In my practice, there were situations when clients turned to me in the experience of a crisis period in their lives, describing their condition as a state of complete hopelessness and despair. However, when I analyzed the resources, it turned out that these people simply could not ask. Many of them showed an obstacle in the form of pride, unwillingness to pay with gratitude, did not want to admit their neediness.
Another obstacle is resentment against those who could potentially provide help. And it turns out that a person is faced with a choice - I will die, but I will not forgive! I’ll die, but I won’t ask! I will never admit that I need your help now. I don’t want to pay in gratitude. I don't want to owe you.
Life often challenges us, asks questions that need to be answered. And sometimes that answer can be getting rid of pride and resentment. And the disclosure of the ability to thank.
Generally speaking, personality resources include a wide range of biogenetic, temperamental, characterological, emotional, volitional, motivational, cognitive, intellectual, spiritual and other human properties.
It is obvious that each person has his own, unique, inherent only to her set of personal resources. Resources can be actively used, applied, or "in stock", that is, be in an active or potential state.
The resources of stress resistance are:
- active motivation for overcoming, treating stress as an opportunity to gain personal experience and personal growth;
- the strength of the self-concept, self-esteem, high self-esteem, a sense of self-worth, self-sufficiency;
- optimistic life position;
- positivity, rationality, analytical thinking;
- emotional and volitional qualities (the ability to create a mood for yourself, consistency);
- physical resources (health status and attitude to it as a value).
Human personal resources:
- a high self-evaluation,
- emotional balance,
- confidence and leadership,
- responsibility,
- purposefulness,
- adaptability and psychological flexibility.
Also, don't forget about existential resources - the resources of freedom, acceptance, trust, mercy, and hope.
The pool of resources constitutes potential. Potential is a kind of mode of possibilities. Try to analyze your own resources. What can I rely on here and now? What do I use and what do not? What prevents access to them? What's in the way?
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