My Perfect Life

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

From the author: I am sharing with you the thoughts of my client. With her consent.

Chapter 1. What we have, we store …..

When building a plan for an ideal life, first I want to revise what is.

So:

Being (mine) (because there is such an opinion that it is it that determines consciousness, although I am ready to argue with this … and think ….)

- real estate - 2 units, and in the prestigious districts of the capital

- a car (it's okay, for pensioners, I realized that Volvo is absolutely not mine, nevertheless - thanks to my typewriter for everything, most importantly, for not letting me drive, protects and takes care in every possible way)

- savings (in foreign currency, in the very, that neither is a stable bank. In fact, it is necessary to transfer to trust management, because the percentage of even my cats amuses)

- monthly income (cats do not laugh, but think …. I am the same ….)

- cats - 3pcs

- dog - 1pc

- 3 wardrobes with branded clothes, bags and shoes (I don’t wear half of them) - again for the cats to laugh

- travel (well, yes, I just would like more for my own pleasure, and not on business trips)

- weekly restaurant trips

- products from the best shops in the city and village (I order "farm-like" products, piously believing that they are really farm products)

- personal trainer

- housekeeper (living with me, who has already become a housekeeper and best helper)

Consciousness and everything around: (what determines my being, or vice versa)

- love … hmmm … or rather, the person who loves me … do I love him ???? A topic for conversation with my psychoanalyst

- Psychoanalyst - what would I do if he was not there ??? Surely now I would not write all this, there would not be a chela who loves, an upcoming wedding, career growth and dialogue with oneself …. I am not yet talking about exciting dialogues, discussions of films, books and life, because this is a few pages of text

- my job … yes, yes, I decided not to include it in the list above, because there is the income itself, but my relationship with work, and my feelings are “here”… what do I feel when I go to the office? Mmmmmm … no, no, my heart does not beat faster with anticipation, excitement and zeal. This is one of my golf courses, where I go through all the holes, slowly, tightly, but surely. There was only one ahead - the most important one. And, nevertheless, I constantly make morphological analysis of the word "work" and I cannot get away from the root. But, I really love aviation, just like I love working in large companies, a contract “weighing” several “yards” more warms my soul than the ridiculous “buy and sell” of small family firms. But something needs to be changed … it's all to … see point above)) although the identity will be lower when I turn to the picture in the future.

- friends. Ok, well, something like that … but what is a friend? I honestly don't know. Yes, I have a bunch of girlfriends, male friends, but I think they are all good acquaintances. Friends, perhaps, only 2-3 … and even then … in general, friendship is a separate topic

- my house. Oh yeah! This feeling of being at home is just now. And it's beautiful. My home is like my life…. I build according to my project. Great!

- my work - smokes quietly in the corner from resentment…. I love to write, but there is no flight of the soul, free time and perspective. If nothing of what has been written is published in the foreseeable future, then I see no point. "Writing to the table" is for losers. Then I'll do something else. I will definitely … break the garden city. I really love gardening …..

- my sport is my relaxation, the joy of working with the body, satisfaction from achievements, from how the silhouette is sharpened, how muscles and ligaments are stretched, how well I think during morning jogging, how cool it is to swim, giving thoughts to water, how fun and It hurts to train for 2 hours at the same time … It's part of my lifestyle. So:

- my way of life: when I write, it turns out generally excellent … for a philistine. Still - life in the Central Administrative District, but not just anywhere, but on the Frunzenskaya Embankment itself (a kind of monument to the Stalinist Empire style). I live in a spacious apartment, rebuilt according to my taste, where there is a lot of space and air, where it is calm and good to breathe, where there is a view of the river and the park…. Yeah…. yes, plus I also drive a "foreign car" (as they once said). I visit a psychoanalyst every week (and many people think that this is a whim or an oddity, not knowing that this is the deepest and, often, very hard work on oneself … I can imagine how he feels !!!). I have a personal trainer - Mr. Olympia, who has also trained famous Hollywood actors, businessmen and politicians, he is also my nutritionist. The housekeeper is watching the house, giving me the opportunity not to run around the shops, not constantly stand at the stove, wash, clean, etc. Ie. everyday life is shifted onto the shoulders of a professional … I can afford to go on vacation not on tours, but planning everything myself, at a fairly high level (although because of this not often). I travel a lot (business trips). I have a more or less status position, a well-known company and not the worst chef. On Sundays, a French teacher comes to me, and on Saturdays, a beautician. In the study at home there is a whole library, not all of which I have yet mastered (shame !!), and thoughts swarm in my head, not yet formulated and stated. I am surrounded by wonderful, warm, soft creatures - my animals. And there is a man who will soon become my husband. H'm. Damian, now tensed, prepares the question why I put my family happiness in the last place, after cats and dogs … … … We will discuss, or I will explain a little later … and then we will discuss ….)). Every Friday I have a traditional dinner with a friend in an excellent Italian restaurant, where a breathtakingly beautiful Italian chef comes out to greet us and often prepares dishes for us that are not on the menu. You can decide that I am an oligarch, but after financial education I have such scars in my brain that I very clearly plan and schedule my monthly budget in advance, reducing the balance of a penny to a penny. If I announce my salary, then my European colleagues will definitely not believe me, and Russian friends who think that since I sell planes, I should swim in bonuses and get at least 10 a month, they will laugh.

There is one more - a very important component of this text and, accordingly, me and my life - my emotions. So let's move on to the next chapter:

Chapter 2. My emotions and feelings

Harmony, happiness, satisfaction, peace…. yes … but they are elusive. And so you want constancy. Love…. of course, I feel it when I look at the photos of my parents and relatives, when I remember three men to whom I am very grateful for those months and years spent in the whole sea of this feeling, when I remember two days in St. Petersburg and only one in Jurmala, three weeks on Hainan Island and several winter and summer days in Vancouver, a ball at the British Ambassador's one winter Moscow evening and a winter morning, already in another year, filled with sun and frost. I feel it when I look at my animals, and I feel their warm sides next to me. I experience him when I try to talk to God, when I think about Christ (and for me he is an absolutely real, earthly person who has found his way and established direct contact with the Creator).

How do I feel when I communicate with my future husband? I must be honest on these pages - I do not feel love for a man, I feel love for a friend, for a person with whom I live well. Well, in the philistine sense - warm, cozy, calm. With him, I can be myself. He is very kind and honest, inexperienced in many things, and naive in many. He adores me, and I love this feeling for me. But I don't like him. I do not admire, am proud or admire this man. I don’t want to seduce him, I don’t want to have sex with him. I understand that I will have to take the leading role. In everything, including sex. Yes, yes, he did not possess me, but the opposite is true. And if I meet a man, and a fire starts between us, I will not hesitate, I will not force myself to be a good girl, I will cheat with him. I miss this fire of passion, this night heat and rosy cheeks in the morning, romance, recklessness, wind in my face, strong hands. And, nevertheless, I will marry my current fiancé and live with him for a while … I'm not sure if this is forever. It seems to me more and more often that I have to go this way with him, having learned something, correcting some mistakes, for a completely different meeting … That's it.

And very often I just feel love. To all. For I believe that everything is endowed with spirit and soul: nature, and buildings, objects that surround me, my car, the walls of my apartment, books, a couple of my old toys, my suitcase, a work chair in the office … everything is worthy love, waiting for her and blossoming in her presence.

Sense of anxiety. Oh, this is my frequent visitor! In general, I am very anxious, almost always. I can hardly remember the days when the anxiety went on vacation, letting go of me. She is still with me, then asleep, then awake, then screaming, and then quietly whispering.

Feeling of joy. But I forgot how to test it. And so you want! I cannot rejoice, brightly, from the bottom of my heart, when I want to jump, or at least laugh. No…. quiet … but I'm always in a good mood. For even the sadness, which, of course, comes along with the memories of my parents, of my former chosen ones, does not spoil the background of an equilibrium-good mood.

Fear. Also my frequent visitor. Rather, this is not fear-fear-horror, but rather, the faithful friend of anxiety, well, or its hypostasis. The feeling "what if" very often penetrates the soul and sits there, however, we must give it its due, not for long.

So, the revision is over. Moving on to the main point:

Chapter 3. My ideal life.

“I wake up on a bright, quiet winter morning, from the snow light penetrating the glass wall of my house. You can also soak up your bed for a while. He also moved beside me and smiled at my movement. And my heart beat a little harder, I am glad to see his face on the pillow. I kiss him and quietly crawl out from under the covers. Going down to the first floor, I once again evaluate the decorations on the huge Christmas tree, which has occupied the entire center of the living room, gifts are piled under it. I move into the next room, pull on my tracksuit and turn on the treadmill. I run and admire the winter landscape, the pines are covered with snow, creak slightly, embracing each other with their crowns, the fir trees have approached the very edge of the site. Birds are already eating breakfast at the feeder. New Years Eve, Spring Eve ….. The door quietly opens and he starts the next walkway. We silently smile at each other, remembering the last night, knowing that there will be the next, that we do not need to rush today, that we can have a lazy breakfast, walk with the dogs on a frosty day and start preparing for the New Year's party.

An hour later, we are already sitting at a large oak table, enjoying breakfast, chatting about the day, brushing off the cats who are always demanding more to eat … And there are a lot of things to do: I need to accept my literary agent, discuss another contract with a publishing house that has been printing my books for a long time, then meet catering and give instructions on the design of the entire party, then have time to get a massage, put yourself in order and understand which dress will emphasize your figure most favorably and give you the opportunity to enjoy dancing until you drop. But you still need to discuss with your husband who to plant and who is not among the guests nearby, what drinks and in what order to recommend serving to the waiters. There will be a lot of people. There are our mutual friends, and a couple of my girlfriends, clients and employees of my husband, my publisher and editor … in short, a full collection.

Then you still need to call the agent who will organize our winter trip for us, because we need to quickly adjust something (another couple will join us in the mountains), check the route and put the final shine on all the upcoming holidays. We discuss all this at breakfast and later, during a walk with the dogs. We discuss easily and openly, even an argument adds even more fun.

And I am overwhelmed with a feeling of harmony, bright happiness, completeness and joy from every minute I live, from the richness of life. I look at my husband and am proud of him, I look at my husband and feel protection from any wind, I look at my husband and feel that I am loved and in love, I look at my husband, he looks at me, and we end our walk, and we begin another journey, already in the bedroom…."

This is one of the frames of my ideal life. Yes…. from it it is clear that the goals are high enough, and that's not all! Someone may snort contemptuously after reading about the platitudes of a rich life, well, let them snort. I am sure that I deserve and deserve the fullness of my existence. And yes, I want to be able to:

- to live with a person with whom I share my love, passion, loyalty, pride, respect, development, the ability to read the soul, accept each other wholely … with whom you can laugh and have fun, who can teach me something new, who holds tight the helm and is not afraid of the sails being torn off, who has experience behind him, and the fruits of a full life, who has a wide horizon and our common goals ahead. I want such a person next to whom I live harmoniously, who does not need to be led, like a helpless disabled person from day to day, who will make my life much better! And I no longer want to think: "Can I make his life better!" I’m tired of starting not with my own stocks and tired of being a "bunny" in a race that everyone matches up to make it easier to run … for a while. With my love and tenderness, I will make a man's life better, I will listen and correct, but I do not want to be either an ally, or a comrade, or a boss, or a boss. I don't want to be a battering ram that breaks through walls for a better life or a breach in the enemy's camp. “Do you feel this way?” - will they ask me? Yes, that's exactly how I feel now with the men around me. Apparently they are mirroring something, apparently, this is some kind of lesson that I just can't go through, and the Universe does not give me a test, but drives me to retake.

I want to be a woman whom they love, want and want to give her the whole world, all happiness and make her life better. Selfish? Maybe. But I want to be selfish, I want to love myself first of all, because I have a part of the Creator in me.

- and yes, I want to live in a spacious country house, where there is a place for everything, where windows are on the whole wall and a large fireplace, where a garage for several cars and its own security.

- I want to be able to travel then and wherever we want, not counting the money, not wondering if we can afford it or if we first need to make repairs or something. And yes, only fly first class.

- I think about my career…. Of course, to begin with, you need to be fully realized in your Corporation. The next step is the Vice President. How to achieve this, I do not yet clearly know. This should be described in more detail and not here.

I want to give myself 2 years for this achievement. Those. by 2019 I am getting this assignment. I will work for the corporation for a year until 2022. Then I want to completely go into creativity, into literary creation. At the same time, it is necessary to make sure that all 4 stories I have already written are published during this and next year. Let it be in English and in Russian (as ideal), as an intermediate one - in English. But let them ask me to return to Russian literature. And this path will give me great income and great opportunities.

On the question of income. I counted everything. Without taking into account inflation, denomination and other economic collapses, and having adopted the economy of today in the Russian Federation (May 2017), my income should be at least 15 thousand US dollars per month. It will give me the opportunity to live according to my own scenario and form an investment fund, which will give me the opportunity to become a rentier in a few years, or rather, in 10 years of such income. Why do I become a rentier? Then, that I am by nature lazy, then that I cease to be satisfied with working in an office, then that while working for a large corporation, I, nevertheless, feel a kind of detachment, lack of involvement, weak satisfaction.

And what then really "pokes" me? Where do I get joy and satisfaction? What do I like in life, what do I enjoy doing and experiencing? Here's a list:

1. Creativity

1.1.literary

1.2. culinary

1.3. teaching (but, only as a sports coach. To teach something else, such as in yaz, in which I am a graduate, I can only children, because it is interesting with them, with adults it is boring)

1.4. landscape and floristic (no, this is not drawing up old-fashioned bouquets - this is design and gardening)

1.5. interior design (first real luck is my own square)

1.6. photography (sama, I'm good at it, I need to learn professionally)

2. Possibility of free choice - ie. freedom

3. Travel

4. Sports, especially my morning runs

5. Painting, cinematography and literature (here already as a consumer)

6. Fashion (as a contemplator, consumer and advisor))))

7. Music (exceptionally rather capricious consumer)

8. Communication with people who help to think

9. Chatting with people who help you laugh

10. Communication with people with whom you can be silent

11. Sex (such as I love - a rarity these days, because few people can really attract and meet all the requirements ….)

12. Animals

13. Swimming in the warm sea

14. Yes, just the sea itself and all life is near

15. Ability to clearly express thoughts and people who also have this talent

16. Dance

17. Throwing parties for friends

18. Cool shower at night

19. Hot coffee in the morning

20. Good wine

21. Large windows, evening sky

22. Snowy Day

23. The first day of vacation, when you go in the car to the hotel and you can lower the window and breathe in the sea scent

24. South of France

25. Cyprus, especially out of season. Has already become a summer residence

26. Walking

27. Bad weather in the city, especially a rainy summer when you work (as a consolation)

28. The coolness of the night

29. Head massage

30. Morning yoga

31. French lessons

32. Silence

33. Lightness … in everything, the perception of life, the lightness of characters, burden, movement, food and drinks, thoughts and speech, mastering

34. Philosophy (especially French and German)

35. Antiquity

36. Architecture

37. Art Deco

38. Silver Age

39. "The Great Gatsby", and indeed Fitzgerald, is more than Hemingway. And Hemingway is more than Garcia Marquez

40. Zola is more than Balzac

41. Françoise Sagan is more than Anna Gavaldo

42. The musical "Chicago" - however, like this whole style. The rest of the musicals I hate

43. Norma's aria "Casta Diva" from "Norma" Belini, Delilah's aria from the opera "Samson and Delilah" by Saint-Saens, Flowers aria from "Lakme" by Delibes and the "chorus of Jewish captives" Va, pensiero from Nabucca by G. Verdi. This is, perhaps, all that I love from the art of opera … everything always ends badly there

44. Vivaldi, Chopin, Beethoven and Bach, Schubert and Mozart, Wagner (Only Flight of the Valkyrie)

45. 1st concert of Tchaikovsky and 2nd concert of Rachmaninoff

46. Simple cut and monochrome

47. Restaurant "Windows" in London

48. London, Paris, Juan Le Pen, Cannes, Vancouver, Geneva, Rio de Janeiro, Barcelona, Hong Kong, Rome, Paphos, Philadelphia, Washington

49. Blue jeans and a white tank top are more than a sophisticated dress and ruffles

50. Get-togethers with friends are more than solemn events

51. Calling a spade a spade

52. Openness and sincerity

53. Integrity

54. Lavender Field

55. Spirits

56. Lilies

57. The film "Man and Woman"

58. Beach parties

59. Crickets and their songs

60. Meditation

61. Detective novels

62. Mystical Films

63. Responsibility for your life

64. Development

65. Go to beauty salons

66. Cosmetic procedures

67. The arrival of swallows in the city and the songs of the nightingale

68. Waterfalls

69. Frogs and Toads

70. Wood floors

71. Pines

Probably, it should be noted that I do not like, that I am not happy and that I simply do not like:

1. Submission to someone else's will:

1.1. Corporate culture

1.2. Corporate discipline

1.3. Rules

1.4. Subordination

1.5. Ranks and reverence

1.6. Work schedule

2. Teamwork and team spirit (I hate it. I'm an athlete, for me all employees are potential rivals)

3. Bureaucracy and work with documents

4. Flights in economy class

5. Accommodation in economy class hotels

6. Closed windows at night

7. Life with his problems

8. All state bodies

9. Conversations on everyday topics

10. People with an atrophied sense of humor

11. Serious people

12. Cowardly people

13. Greedy people

fourteen. Superficial people

15. Atheists

16. People who don't like animals

17. Irresponsibility

18. Responsibility (imposed from the outside)

19. Mass tourism and crowded places

20. City holidays

21. Ornate speech

22. Stationery of speech

23. People who are too… too much in everything.

24. Russian stage and television

25. Folklore (behind a very rare, literally, single excl)

26. Baths

27. SPA treatments and baths

28. Team games (excluding football)

29. Hiking

30. Bouquets composed by someone

31. Sweet

32. Disco Style

33. Old Soviet films - Tarkovsky, Konchalovsky, Lungin - excluded from the rules

34. Author's song

35. Theaters and plays

36. Wanderers and Old Dutchmen

37. Cocktails, excluding martini drys and sweet liqueurs

38. Strong alcohol excluding whiskey

39. Sweet Shaman, sweet and semi-sweet wines

40. Ritualism

41. Blind Faith

42. Services

43. Furniture sets

44. Wallpaper in the rooms

45. Pompous style

46. Carpets

47. Hard pillows (they say it's good to sleep on them, it's easier to shoot me after sleeping on an orthopedic pillow)

48. Weapons and any manifestation of militarism

49. Pseudo … in everything..

50. Circuses, zoos, dolphinariums

51. Clowns - I'm not funny

52. Pre-prepared jokes

53. Comedians

54. Dirty Speech

55. Corporate souvenirs, T-shirts, etc. with corporate logos

56. Corporate parties

57. Heat

58. Surface

59. Classic tea (except for oolong with ginseng, black with chocolate and orange, earl gray with milk in winter and some herbal ones)

The list goes on. But I decided to put an end here. So, how can I come to that harmony, to that winter New Year's day?

Of all the things I love to do, it is realistic to include in my career and employment zone, which is possible to monetize:

1. Literary creativity.

Because already 4 works are ready, worthy of critics. Nobody particularly strives to print, justifying this by the crisis in publishing houses. OK. accepted, then everything should be translated into English and published there. Then go to the Russian market from abroad - my fiance? Why didn’t he offer it himself?

Career.

1. the next step is to become a vice president of the corporation where I currently work.

2.become a sought-after writer

To be continued

_

Martha Davydova

Posted by:

Damian of Sinai, leadership coach, expert psychoanalyst, Head of the Center for Strategic Coaching and Psychotherapy "Innovation Values"