Gray Hair, Crisis Or Opportunity?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

The midlife crisis continues to be a popular topic for research by psychologists and discussion among the common people.

The crisis period for most people falls in the 30 to 45 years range, can last from several months to several years, can be very acute, or have "blurred symptoms."

The midlife crisis does not make gender differences, it happens in both men and women, but in men the crisis period is primarily associated with the loss of its main life meanings. A woman with life meanings, as a rule, is all right: having given birth to a child, she already provides herself at least one of the most important meanings of her own life.

Therefore, our focus will be on men and their midlife crises.

Psychologists identify a number of factors that can accelerate the onset of a male crisis. Here they are:

• dissatisfaction with your life today (imbalance between your achievements and the time and energy spent on it);
• the presence of all kinds of problems (financial, problem relationships with loved ones, etc.);
• lack of fulfillment of personal desires and youthful dreams (for example, due to lack of time and energy);
• age-related decrease in testosterone levels, and as a result, a decrease in the degree of sexual activity.

All men are susceptible to a midlife crisis, without division into financial, intellectual, cultural or mental components. If a man enters a period of midlife crisis, being not a family man, but having built a career, then he will be inclined to blame his work for the lack of fulfillment of his family life. Under the influence of such moods, a man can decide to quit his job, or radically change his field of activity, without thinking about the consequences.

And vice versa, if a man has a family and children, then under the influence of a midlife crisis, he is able to leave the family, perceiving the family as the biggest obstacle in his professional failure.

Also during this period, men begin to acutely realize that they are losing their physical shape. The realization of the loss of physical condition is replaced by the fear that old age is just around the corner, and a man can start both intensely going in for sports and go in search of a young mistress in order to prove (first of all to himself) that he is still very much nothing!

What is a woman to do? How can she tell if her man is having a midlife crisis? What behavioral reactions are typical for this period?

1. silence, apathy, dissatisfaction with oneself.
2. manifestation of rudeness on the part of a man.
3. unpredictability in actions, close people are perceived as an annoying factor.
4. feeling of emptiness and confusion, insomnia.

Of course, this behavior of men who are in captivity in a midlife crisis causes misunderstanding and condemnation of those close to him. In general, it becomes bad not only for the man himself, but also for everyone else next to him.

How and with what actions can a man soften the course of his crisis period so that he does not have to regret the consequences? On the Internet, you can find a lot of thematic information, but there are not so many effective recommendations.

• Learn to appreciate what is already in your life: a friendly family, interesting work, wonderful children.
• Try to make your childhood and adolescent dreams come true.
• Find yourself a new hobby that you have never done before. This will help you get new emotions and impressions.
• If your job isn't satisfying, maybe it's time for a change? Thoroughly analyze the situation, assess your professional competencies, capabilities, and act!
• If opportunities permit, change the environment for a while. Travel to places you have never been.
• Try to get rid of bad habits, start forming useful ones: sports, healthy eating.
• Do not become isolated, do not lose contact with loved ones and loved ones - talk, discuss, trust, talk about your experiences and feelings. It is very important that during this period close people do not condemn, threaten, or reproach.

But what actions it is advisable to take for the wives of men in a crisis period:

• If possible, do not be jealous and not reproach a man for the fact that he prefers loneliness to communication with you.
• Do not overwhelm a man with advice on what to do.
• Do not give vent to your emotions in the form of tears and entreaties in front of a man.
• Continue to provide emotional warmth to the man.
• Do not drive the man away, even if you really want to (you will have time to kick him out after he gets out of the crisis).
• Not demanding the impossible from a man and not giving him ultimatums (divorce, leaving home, etc.).

Of course, such behavior will not be easy for a woman. Where can a woman get strength and resources to support her man in his difficult times?

If a man begins to look for those who are to blame for his crisis in his immediate environment, the wife is the first to come under fire. It is especially important for a woman during this period to preserve herself, her self-esteem. Use the following life hacks:

- try not to take accusations of your husband, as well as his other unflattering expressions, at your own expense;

- suppress any cruelty towards yourself, in no case take the position of "victim";

- Conflict with your husband without the participation of your children, the relationship between adults should not affect the children. Don't talk badly about each other to your kids.

- do not look for an outlet in alcohol or relationships with other men. After all, the man's crisis will pass, and the consequences of your actions can be devastating for the family.

- direct the focus of attention to yourself, do not abandon your hobbies, engage in your development, continue to take care of your appearance, pamper yourself. This will help keep your self-esteem stable and will benefit not only you, but your husband as well.

The midlife crisis in men, as strange as it may sound, has its positive side as well. It is designed to help a man realize that life is not static, its dynamics cannot be stopped, and in order to keep up with the times, one must constantly change, learn something new. The crisis teaches men how to be content with today, current achievements and value them.

A midlife crisis is not a disease, and there are no pills for it, however, a competent psychologist can help to deal with this period, who will direct a man's actions to stabilize his emotional state, support him in sorrows and doubts. And, of course, there is no substitute for support and understanding from loved ones and loved ones.

Take care of yourself and your loved ones!