2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Three Important Ego-States in Our Life
Today I want to talk to you about three important ego states that manifest themselves in relationships both with other people and with oneself, giving rise to various difficulties. It is with them that the psychotherapist often deals with clients.
What conditions are we talking about?
We will talk about our inner child, parent, and adult. They are also called roles, personality parts, or subpersonalities. I will use different options, for me they are about the same thing.
I suggest you get acquainted with the text, stopping and noticing how these parts are developed in you, how conscious and controlled they are. This will help you better understand yourself and the reasons for your difficulties. And if you already know them, you see, you will be able to influence, correct and manage them.
In the process of reading, you can do techniques for getting to know a part, drawing it and describing the characteristics that it possesses, as well as writing a message from her about how she feels, what she wants and what she thinks about you and your life.
Well, to the point?
So, an article about our parts or ego states: "Parent", "Child", "Adult". We wish you useful and informed reading, friends!
PARENT
This is our part that contains all the norms, rules, prohibitions, prejudices, morality and attitudes learned from childhood, which add up to what is called the "inner voice" or "the voice of conscience."
In the "Parent" state, a person seeks to manage, control, lead. His position in communication is condescending or contemptuous, he is categorical, emotional, operates with life experience and wisdom, loves to teach, instruct, moralize.
Moreover, this state is divided into the Helping Parent, who mainly supports and takes care of the Criticizing Parent, who scolds and blames.
By the way, the latter is more developed in modern people. Many clients seeking help are missing an Inner Supportive Parent - the part they can rely on.
Moreover, we tend to criticize not only the people around us, but also ourselves. Whoever hears this voice of the inner Criticizing Parent, and someone does not recognize it at all, is so traumatic.
His constant dissatisfaction becomes so commonplace that it goes into the background. There are only feelings of awkwardness, shame, guilt, anxiety, fear, or just a cycle of nagging thoughts about a particular situation.
This happens when you are in more contact with the part that is shamed and scolded by this inner criticizing Parent - with the inner Child.
CHILD
This is our spontaneous, feeling part, possessing naivety, simplicity, and spontaneity. She knows how to enjoy life, create, fool around, show openness and spontaneity. This part knows exactly what it wants and takes everything out of life easily and simply. But among other things, it is this part that is offended, angry, rebellious, opposed and harmful.
The "Child" state is characterized by lively, spontaneous postures, facial expressions and gestures that express true feelings and experiences. A person from this part can easily burst into tears, laugh, lower his head if he suddenly feels guilty, pout his lips if he is offended.
Here, some readers may ask the question: what if I do not have these manifestations, and never have? This means that the state of "Child" in you has been suppressed since childhood and your inner child is traumatized, hidden deep inside.
This is often found among people from the USSR, when we had to grow up early, to be comfortable, responsible, "correct". This state is also lost in those cases when grief occurs in the family or the family itself is dysfunctional in terms of the emotional background. In such families, the child takes on the function of a helper, a rescuer, or is forced to grow up early in order to preserve himself.
People who have a traumatized inner child are deprived of spontaneity, lightness, joy and confidence in life, they more often function from the "Parent" state, have chronic diseases, panic attacks and depression.
There are cases when the child's condition, on the contrary, dominates in a person's life and then a number of difficulties are possible. After all, the Child-Man does not like responsibility and is inclined to choose as a partner / friend a man in the "Parent" state, obey him, show his weakness and lack of independence, shift responsibility onto him, be capricious, manipulate, etc.
Often people with the opposite dominance attract each other, which leads to difficulties in relationships.
In general, we need a Child, it manifests itself in us when we are engaged in creativity, play and have fun. The state of the Child for us is a source of spontaneity, lightness and creativity. He is both a way to unload, and an indicator of mental health.
ADULT
This is a state that is designed to maintain a balance of the psyche by regulating the impulses of the Child and the Parent.
This part is balanced, unemotional, restrained and rational. From the "Adult" state, a person is able to consider an issue from all sides, analyzing it, drawing conclusions, making a forecast and an action plan.
He communicates not from a position “from above” (like a Parent) or “from below” (like a Child), but on an equal footing, like a partner. The adult is confident in himself, talks calmly and to the point.
The state of "Adult" is also not developed in everyone and not sufficiently, due to which difficulties arise in self-organization and discipline, in self-realization, achievements and manifested in procrastination, in frequent falls "into an emotional hole" or the so-called "fall on the bottom of "self-flagellation.
Most often, the process of psychotherapy is aimed at healing the inner child, nurturing an inner supportive parent, and strengthening the inner adult. And then a person's life changes qualitatively, and his relationships are harmonized.
You can help yourself if you learn to notice, understand, and hear each of your parts. You can draw them, objectify them, build dialogues, stop in a situation and act differently. There are many ways, the main thing is to learn to hear and feel them.
Recommended:
The Essence Of Psychotherapy Is Short And Succinct - Competent Work With Emotions And Feelings
In this article I will share my vision of how, in a systematic approach, you can quickly and efficiently work with the emotional sphere of a person. I have already written an article about what feelings are, what they are for, what you need to understand in order to learn how to manage your emotional sphere.
PRINCIPLES AND METHODS OF USING ASSOCIATIVE CARDS IN PSYCHOLOGY AND PSYCHOTHERAPY
The article discusses the principles of working with associative cards. The ways of using associative maps are systematized. The effectiveness of the application of these projective methods is analyzed. Key words: associative cards, projection, psychotherapy, client.
Leader Roles And Functions
In this article, we will talk about the functions that a leader performs when managing a group. These functions will be derived from leadership roles, which will be discussed below. J. Moreno, the developer of psychodrama (one of the systems of psychotherapy) and the sociometric method, discovered that the system of interpersonal relationships consists of the following status positions:
How The Roles Of Woman, Wife And Mother Killed Your Unique Personality
As long as you separate the male and female roles, you are unconscious. You are unconscious as long as you identify yourself in the same way with the role of parent, boss, professor, daughter, mother, wife, actress, doctor, and so on. It is precisely about identifying with the role, when you, for example, the boss at work, come home and forget to leave the role.
WHY PSYCHOTHERAPY AND PERSONAL GROWTH ARE NOT ONE AND THE SAME?
What is the difference between the first and the second? In other words: if you want to become rich and successful, don't go to psychotherapy. A categorical statement, isn't it? But this is partly true. Why is that? Personal growth - from the word growth, involves the acquisition of some qualities to achieve efficiency.
