Memo. How To Become A Leader! Parts 11-12

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

From the author: As a leadership coach, several years ago I came to the conviction that it is possible in any manager to reveal his hidden potential as a leader, and after many years of successful work, I decided to draw up a Memo "How to Become a Leader".

Today we will talk about our misconceptions, mental traps and illusions.

(Continuation)

Part 11. Our misconceptions, mental traps and illusions

(In addition to my research, I relied on the research of K. Chabri, D. Simons, E. Ibarra.)

1. I look and see

• This is wrong. The famous "invisible gorilla" experiment, when the participants in the experiment are given the task of counting the number of passes made by the players in white uniform. During the game, a man dressed in a black gorilla costume enters the field and is not seen at close range.
• And here is a case from history: in 2001, the Greenville nuclear submarine, equipped with the latest technology, surfaced at high speed right under the Japanese trawler Ehime Maru, without noticing the trawler through the periscope. The Ehime Maru was probably visible through the periscope, Commander Weddle was staring at it, but still did not notice.
• Most drivers can remember their hard braking so as not to collide with a car that they did not see a moment ago.

2. I listen, but I do not hear

An experiment with the participation of the genius violin virtuoso Joshua Bell. At rush hour, he took his over three million dollar Stradivari violin and took the subway to play. He began performing classical pieces. The concert lasted 43 minutes. During this time, thousands of people passed by and only seven of them stopped to listen to music

3. I just think I remember

The illusion of memory is based on a fundamental discrepancy between our memories and the real events on which they are based. I remember what, according to my expectations, I should remember. I distort my memories, adjusting them to my own expectations and perceptions.

Psychologists W. Brewer and D. Trayens conducted an experiment. Study participants were asked to go to the graduate school premises and wait there. After 30 seconds, the experimenter took the participant to another room, where he asked the participant to write down everything he saw in the previous room. Almost all participants remembered seeing pieces of furniture, books, wardrobes. But there was nothing in that office, it was empty

4. The illusion of confidence

My confidence and my abilities can be so at odds with my abilities that trusting the first, I can fall into the most insidious trap set by my own consciousness, and this can lead to sad consequences.

5. The illusion of knowledge

I just think I know. What I think is simple in my mind usually turns out to be much more complex when our plans collide with reality. The illusion of knowledge invariably convinces us that we have a deep understanding of an object or topic, although in reality it is only a superficial acquaintance.

B. Hunter, 32, earned $ 75 million in 2005 while working for the Greenwich hedge fund. He has dealt with natural gas futures contracts. And for investors, he earned $ 1 billion. But he fell into the illusion of knowledge and a year later lost $ 6.5 billion at the auction

6. The illusion of causation

This illusion arises every time I find some pattern or pattern in a random event. This often happens when I am sure I understand the reason for what is happening. If I have beliefs that there is some kind of causal relationship, then noticing a pattern, I link it to my beliefs and ideas. And the patterns that I perceive lead to new imaginary beliefs. Even super skilled people make mistakes by seeing what they expect to see and missing out on what is inconsistent with their ideas and beliefs.

7. The illusion of competence

• People who play golf on an amateur level spend a lot of time practicing their best shots. And they do not devote any time to those movements that they get worse.
• Every year we see the collapse of another large company that was once a leader in its industry, but missed the emergence of a new disruptive technology. Well, who today will remember about the huge monster of the leader in the production of gadgets, the Finnish company Nokia.

Leaders place too much emphasis on their strengths, mistakenly believing that the approach that helped them succeed in the past is bound to ensure that they do the same in the future. And don't get your hopes up.

8. The illusion of one's own passivity

Consists in the belief that in life a lot depends on circumstances, luck and other significant rich people, but not on me.

I am sure that many leaders justify their failures by circumstances, crisis, sanctions, etc. etc.

… When I was running my own business, I had many illusions. Some of the most powerful are the illusion of causation and the illusion of one's own helplessness. I was 28 years old, I just started to get used to it. Naturally, first of all, I decided to buy an apartment. There was a lot of barter in business then. The companies did not have "real" money and they paid with their own products. So, three large developers promised me an apartment in exchange for the products of my company. And three times they did not keep their word.

I gathered my strength, as they say, believed in myself. And I was lucky, a large customer appeared, and even paid for the order with "real" money. I could get some of the money out of circulation and buy a long-awaited apartment, but then I would not be able to pay taxes and fulfill the order on time. I decided to be honest (see paragraph 1 of the Memo on how to become a leader), or maybe I was just afraid of losing my reputation and my face. I made the decision to place a second large order. It was hard for me to believe, but exactly 2 weeks later I got a second large customer. And I bought an apartment. Business began to develop by leaps and bounds. Most importantly, I am well aware that it is possible and necessary to overcome the illusion of a cause-and-effect relationship and my own helplessness.

By the way, the epic with the apartment did not end there. A year later, neighbors from our house, pensioners, in the past, the leaders of the regional committee of the CPSU, came to me and offered me to move to their three rubles, with an additional payment, and they to my kopeck piece. A few days later, another neighbor came, their colleague from the former regional committee and asked me to move to his 4-room apartment. He and his wife would live in a three-ruble note, respectively, the first neighbors would move to my kopeck piece. And there were enough such facts in my changing conscious life.

Before starting my career as a coach, there were 12 years left.

Part 12. Let's continue talking about our illusions

(In addition to my research, I will rely on the research of M. Goldsmith and M. Reiter.)

1. If I understand, I can do it

Here it is necessary to realize the difference between understanding and action (deed). Most of my clients before coming to me very competently drew up their annual plans, which were implemented at most ten percent.

2. I have enough willpower to overcome inertia

This illusion provokes overconfidence. And when we are faced with serious challenges, we start to fold, we are not ready. Unfortunately, willpower alone is often not enough.

3. Today is a special day, an exception can be made

Super football, birthday, just a day off … Thus, we justify our inaction and show inconstancy, which is detrimental to the implementation of our plans.

4. At least I am better than many

We feel sorry for ourselves, justify our failure, reduce our motivation.

five. I don't need help and an integral approach

Previously, I often heard from clients that coaches are just merchants (scammers) who simply make money from clients. But when they see results, they are pulled in, and the level of requests starts to rise.

6. I never get tired

We get tired by the middle of the day, exhausted by the end of the week, and even make mistakes, sometimes serious ones.

7. I still have a lot of time, I will be in time for everything

By this we greatly underestimate the time and catch ourselves up at the last moment. I will have time to start going to fitness, quit smoking, and this continues for years.

8. I will focus and do everything

Underestimating the interference that occurs at the most inopportune moment. Traffic jam, a tooth ached, but you never know what.

9. Our infantile magical thinking

We hope that suddenly something will happen and everything will change for the better. The girl dreams of a prince, the drunkard is sure that she will not get drunk, the player believes that she will hit the jackpot.

10. I will be happy when I …

I will earn a million, buy a behu, marry Miss Russia, buy an apartment, etc. Happiness is all pushed aside and pushed back. If you prioritize that way, you will never be happy. It is necessary to live in the present and look for points of synergy in it.

11. Once I solve old problems, I will never admit new ones

It doesn't work that way. Solving problems at one level and moving to another, we will always meet new challenges and it will always be so.

12. Life is fair and my efforts will be rewarded

When that doesn't happen, we feel cheated. If we do something to be rewarded, this is a dead-end path. If reward is the only motivation, it is an illusion. The goal is to become better, this is the reward, and then the money will come by itself.

13. I will not change, no one needs it

But this is necessary, first of all, for you and only for you. Your success will give you energy and lead to even more success.

14. If I change, then I will not be myself

The fact of the matter is, your failures and insecurities come from your false self. Find your true identity, finally become yourself, and you will immediately feel the taste of success.

15. I myself can evaluate and see myself, I do not need anyone

How can you, being in your consciousness, be able to simultaneously evaluate your consciousness? Or, being inside your psyche, analyze your psyche, if you are not a schizophrenic? He just can, having divided, split into several subpersonalities, analyze each other.

Overconfidence, persistence in ignorance, infantile magical thinking, procrastination, confusion in the way of thinking, frustration and discontent can easily undermine any of your good intentions and desires to become who you want to become.

Therefore, everything is in your hands. All these illusions can be easily overcome and, if desired, radically change your life for the better.

Self-awareness + action = brilliant success!

… My first clients were people from business and made specific requests that we achieved together. And, indeed, I had to hear hard-hitting words about coaches. They were right. When coaches, trainers, psychologists say how many tens of thousands of performances they have performed, how many thousands of clients they have, how many tens of areas they have perfectly mastered and practice - all this raises certain doubts, not only in the numbers and wizards - jack of all trades. Educational courses and master classes for future entrepreneurs, recruiting hundreds of people, of which only a few become successful … (Here you can draw an analogy with a casino, where hundreds play, and only a few win).

I think in such cases it is necessary to speak not about quantity, but about quality. Specifically, how many of your clients have achieved specific measurable success in business, personal life? Can you imagine not "dead" numbers, but specific "live" customers? How much their worldview and beliefs have changed. How they literally live a holistic, fulfilling life in joy, satisfaction, how happy they are in the end.

Just yesterday a new client called me and said in an unhappy voice that he needed a coach, but he read that coaches are not responsible, in the sense that the client is responsible for everything. I told him that in my understanding, the coach is personally responsible for his work. This is the norm in our Center.

15 years have passed since the beginning of my career as a coach.

Impossible for others will soon become possible for you

Let's continue.

Damian of Sinai,

leadership coach, expert psychoanalyst

Head of the Center for Strategic Coaching and Psychotherapy "Innovation Values"