DIAPERS OR EARLY SUSPENSION ???

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

This question, despite the fact that modern mothers have diapers in their arsenal, and washing machines, and many other things that can facilitate their baby care, are asked by many parents. Indeed, on the one hand, today you can forget about diapers and reusable diapers and enjoy the baby's dry bottom, putting on a diaper or a diaper of any other company. On the other hand, having “packed” a baby in a diaper for 2 years, we are faced with another problem - skin irritation and allergies, and it’s just a pity to keep the ass for days for many months in a hot, impermeable diaper. So what can be done? Earlier, in the absence of such benefits of civilization as disposable diapers and automatic washing machines, our grandmothers sought to potty train their children as early as possible. This technique is called early planting. Let's look at what it is, and what are the nuances of this method.

I was inspired to think about this question by an article by an unknown author, walking on the Internet. The author of the article asks the question: "Diapers or planting?" and immediately gives very clear and from the point of view of the child's physiology correct explanations and comments. The author of the article believes that early planting is a manifestation of care and assistance in the development of the child. The child, still not having the physiological ability to control his sphincters, feels a spasm and noticeably begins to signal before urinating. An attentive mother, of course, is able to grasp this. It turns out like this, first, the mother catches the baby's signal and begins to plant it, and then the baby already adjusts to the mother, forming a reflex, and begins to defecate when the mother drops him off. Moreover, the author of the article urges to form this reflex by tapping on the genitals before “allowing” the little man to “pee”, arguing that this will also help in better development, and in boys, in the growth of genitals. On the one hand, this opinion has a right to exist, but let's also remember the psychological side of the issue and how this can affect the further development of the child.

Let's imagine a picture: a baby comes into a completely new and incomprehensible world for him. For the first few months, the child has absolutely no control over himself, his reflexes and does not yet know the boundaries of his body, he simply does not know himself, he is completely dependent on his mother (or another person who cares about him). He is not able to take care of himself, moreover, for him everything in this world is new acquisitions, in the womb he did not have to worry about food, or about defecation and defecation, all this was provided for him by the womb and to ask, that is, … to achieve what you want, the kid did not have to. Here, after birth, the little man is faced with a rather aggressive and sometimes attacking world of objects unfamiliar to him, which must be studied and subordinated to his desires. What does attacking objects mean to a child? The attacker can also be a mother who does not understand the needs of the baby and offers him her care at the wrong time or not the care that is needed at a particular moment. For example, a mother who gives a breast when the baby is not hungry is an attacking mother who did not understand the baby's signal correctly and, instead of calming down, waving in her arms, shoved her breast. A mother who begins to form a reflex in the child (especially with the help of tapping) to urinate or defecate is also an attacking mother who KNOWS when the baby needs to eat, when to sleep, when to urinate. This is a mother who wants to completely control the baby, instead of being his mirror, getting to know him, with his needs, expanding them, supporting the baby, accepting him completely, even in the fact that while he cannot control his sphincters and regularly wets his pants. And only after a while, the baby will slowly recognize and study himself, first his body, then learn to “hear” what he wants and ask for help from his mother. This is a long and difficult process that requires patience and endurance from the mother, she will have to accept his "cries for help."Yes, it is screaming (crying), because this is the only very effective way to signal your needs to your mother or another caregiver, it can be more intense or less.

In the first year of life, a child develops a basic trust or distrust in the world, which is ensured by his immediate environment. All he needs in the first 6 months is to be well-fed, dry, to feel the closeness of his mother and her constancy. Then the baby begins to expand the range of his interests, begins to study various objects and people that can be dangerous. The task of the mother is to be always there and introduce him to these new objects, and gradually expand their number. Observing the child, we see that he learns the world mainly orally (through the mouth), licks everything, gnaws, sucks. This is his way of knowing the world. And, if the first year was successful, then in the second year of life, the baby will face the "pot problem". He has already studied the world around him and his body well, and begins to experiment with his need, looks with pleasure, and rejoices when he does "kaku", rejoices in a puddle on the floor, because this is his first creation, what he did himself. The baby does not have a feeling of horror and disgust in relation to his excrement, for him it is what was himself, inside him, and now it is here, outside. An attentive, relaxed, unconditionally accepting mother, usually catches this and admires his creations with him. And only by 19, or even 24 months (it is by this age that the baby is just beginning to control his sphincters), after a long period of experiments with the pot, the first victories begin, the child himself asks and runs to the pot to relieve himself. The most important thing here is that this stage takes place naturally, at the request of the child, with the mother's support. In the variant with early disembarkation, the child from the very beginning at the level of a reflex, begins to endure, holding urine or feces in himself, waiting for his mother to drop him off. Although the main task of this age is spontaneity, openness, freedom of action, but not as tightness and retention and control.

Of course, for a little man to be able to feel and control his sphincters by 19 months, sometimes even by two years, it is necessary that he be familiar with the feeling of discomfort and inconvenience with wet pants. In this sense, of course, if a child under two years old has never been without a diaper, he first gets acquainted with this sensation and begins to study his body in this aspect for the first time. Therefore, it is important until this time to provide the baby with an acquaintance with wet pants and change them in time. This is care and care: the child is hungry - he was fed, he is cold - dressed warmer, he has wet pants, they were immediately changed, but at the same time we leave the right to the baby himself, with the help of his mother, to recognize and shape his reflexes in accordance with with its natural laws. By the second year of life, the baby himself will learn to walk on the potty, just believe in its capabilities and wait a little.

Another important point is a calm, balanced, rested mother, who does not run every 20 minutes to the basin with the baby, forming a reflex, so we will not achieve basic trust in the mother and the world around us. And of course, there can be no question of independence, initiative and creativity, in adult life such a child will wait for his mother's permission to do something, as he once waited for her to "allow" him to relieve himself. The recipe is simple - keep in your head the idea that your baby develops according to the laws of nature and along the path of progress, not degradation, he will learn everything, you just need to wait a little and help with this !!!

Maria Grineva