2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
It happens that the child is very annoying …
And then you want to somehow influence him so that he understands what is interfering, so that he becomes quiet, becomes silent, does not interfere. But in fact, he disappeared … (Yes, it turns out that way.
After all, a healthy child, a priori, cannot be completely quiet and docile. Unless, if he is very keen on something, and even then - for a while he will behave more or less quietly.
In general, a child is still that "energy carrier" of a living, spontaneous manifestation of himself, his emotions, feelings and impressions. And it is extremely difficult for him to restrain himself when a "fight", joy, curiosity or surprise comes out of him. He accompanies his manifestations with loud sounds, knocks and various movements …
I'm not talking about some kind of excessiveness now. And about the normal mobile state of the child, when he develops and learns the world mainly through play and images.
There is, for example, the following family situation in mother-child interaction: a mother came home from work and wants to relax, have a quiet time, recover from a difficult day and contact with various people. She is tired and has little energy. I don't want to play.
The child requires attention, not understanding the needs of the mother - an adult. He only feels his desire to be as close to his dear person as possible - he missed …
Mom begins to get annoyed, "get turned on" and … scream … What is this cry? What is he about? The child does not understand. At that moment, he just feels rejected.
They do not like him, they do not want to play with him, they do not bring him closer to themselves, but very far emotionally and sometimes physically - they distance him. He becomes sad, lonely and scared. This affects his behavior and he begins to indulge, even more naughty, naughty, hysteria …
And thus - even more to attract the attention of relatives. It is then better for a child to win attention in this way, without which it is unbearable for him to manage and develop, than to be in an atmosphere of indifference and alienation at all.
Conflicts, quarrels begin, and at the same time - "no one hears anyone." The child is undoubtedly in a more losing situation, because he is weaker physically, still immature emotionally, he is still a small person.
And he does not have the same level of consciousness as an adult. It is impossible for him to survive in the world without support and protection, direction, reasonable restrictions, love and warmth from loved ones - people who already have the life experience of growing up.
Otherwise, the child begins to get sick, psychosomatically manifesting his needs through the body. He calls to him through illness, pain, asks to be near, show attention to him and take care of him.
After all, when he is healthy, his relatives do not have enough time for him. And so - they are surprisingly close and stop screaming, nervous, irritated … The tension becomes less and in the family system, for a while, a relative calm reigns.
A child is generally very "convenient" for draining negative emotions. He, after all, cannot yet equally resist in response, give a worthy rebuff and fully defend himself.
The child simply grows and remembers, learns from his environment to interact with himself and the world. And then, over time, he will surely "reflect" what he absorbed over the years and what he managed to learn …
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