2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
In a recent insta-broadcast with my good colleagues, the topic of symbiosis was touched upon, among other things. And it is no coincidence, because we do not always have a complete picture of what exactly symbiosis is "harmful" in and how it differs from its "useful" opposite.
From a purely psychological point of view, autonomy is considered the opposite of a symbiotic relationship. And here a gag often begins: we say "autonomy", but we hear something like loneliness. Such an unconscious substitution of concepts and an incompletely clarified definition of the concept of autonomy can make us ineffective.
In our speech, the antonym of a symbiotic relationship is cooperation or cooperation. And both of these words are in some way "polluted", that is, they bear traces of other meanings from other contexts: in the word "cooperation" we hear labor (and an echo of the meaning of "relationship as work, not as a thrill"), but in the word cooperation many people may hear "cooperative", well, there is a garage or housing, which also takes a little away from the desired semantics. At the same time, the source, that is, the English word cooperation is primarily interaction, assistance in order to achieve common or complementary goals.
So that's it. It is important to understand that autonomy is not about loneliness, but about the ability to build comfortable cooperative relationships in a win-win format, that is, when both parties benefit from these relationships. Symbiosis is when you are afraid of losing a relationship that communicates or promises you goodness. And so you adjust to your partner's deliberately uncomfortable expectations.
Autonomy is the feeling of one's own unconditional okay, regardless of the relationship. When it’s not relationships that are the source of your okay, but you are the source of your okay. And it is precisely this dexterity that allows us to diplomatically and consistently format comfortable, constructive relationships - within the framework of a healthy dialogue with a partner. What I wish everyone
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